deercountry | soft hours

Hey.

[they're still at the lumenarium Diluc dragged them to, but not for long. Manabu's let Ryunosuke know Kazuma's here and out of danger, able to be taken home. now he's trying to get said Kazuma's attention from where he's stuck in bed.

Magnet is not helping. almost out of principle. so Manabu sighs, grabbing at the saber propped up on the wall. he double-checks the safety before using it to poke at Kazuma's shoulder.]

Hey, are you listening? I gotta let you know something. [stop texting or whatever! who do you even have to text??]

I-I don't know, Ryunosuke... [he's followed him on crutches into the other room, weighed down more by uncertainty than the bum ankle he can't keep weight on. he wasn't really able to help convey Kazuma back here, and not being able to help makes Manabu antsy and uneasy - even when he's in no state to do much!

and this...]

Where are you supposed to sleep if I'm here? [he can't really argue against leaving now, letting it slip that his own room's up some stairs he's absolutely not going to be managing in the state he's in, right?]

I'll sleep on the couch. It's not a big deal, Manabu. Besides you need the comfort to recover properly. [He turns to face Manabu with a sigh, with a soft smile before he reaches out to cup his cheek.]

I promise I'll be okay. I'd rather make sure you're comfortable.

[Because with both of them injured he needed to ensure that they actually rest and recover. He has no idea the first thing about playing a doctor but he's going to do what he can. If he needs help he'll just reach out to Nehan and ask him for assistance or advice. He sorely needs some advice right now.]

[there's a little thrum of energy at the touch - all that discontent at being idle, at being an imposition, somehow conveys with the soft buzz of electricity from his skin to Ryunosuke's.]

...I-I'm sorry. For the trouble. I didn't...do as well as I hoped I would. [but...it's fine, right? he's gotten beat up a lot before. he's died. it's not something to worry about, right?]

You're no trouble. [There's a pause, a sigh, before his expression changes to one of deep concern.] You could have gotten yourself killed, again. [He says rather sternly.] What were you thinking?

[He hardly knows what they were up against! Some kind of invincible humanoid monster? He doesn't like the sound of it, whatever it is, and if he and Kazuma were out matched, how did everyone else fair?]

You're just lucky that your injuries aren't worse!

[his eyes wince, his head dipping a little, but not entirely out of touch with the hand on his face. it's a brief recoil before he looks back up, trying to push on something more reassuring.]

Getting up close...meant I could do a lot more damage! To keep other people from getting hurt or worse. [and there was worse; not everyone got out of there alive. that hangs on his conscience more than his own injury, maybe even more than the concern on Ryunosuke's face - concern he can't quite understand when it's for his own sake.]

A broken ankle's not so bad... [yes, this perspective'll make it all better.]

I understand that! I know what you two were doing but your life is just as important.

[His life mattered just as much as anyone else's life. After his first death to corruption, Ryunosuke's gotten to know him a lot better and knows by now that he's a bit self sacrificing. That he needs to feel useful to people by doing something for other people. Ryunosuke rubs his thumb under Manabu's eye, frowning a bit.]

You can't save them all, I'm sure you know that, but you have to think about your own health and safety too. About your own well being.

[He lets out an airy laugh.]

Yeah, a broken ankle's not too bad. Better than Kazuma's broken rib.

[Though he'd really like if they didn't have anything broken!]

[mention of Kazuma makes Manabu dip his head, finally scooting out of contact to hobble over and plop himself on a corner of the bed. turns out: crutches suck, they hurt to use, and are just kind of a nuisance to stow. he's fixing his frown on them as he holds them at an awkward angle away from himself.]

...I was meaning to...get him out of there. Throw him out, if I had to. [instead he could only just throw the guy his saber for a chance to stay alive.]

Sorry. I know I could've done better there. [because Kazuma's life is more important in that case.]

You both should have gotten out of there when you realized it was a fools errand to fight so close.

[He finally removes his hand from Manabu's cheek, reaching to take the crutches away from him to lean them up against the wall.]

I appreciate you looking out for him though. I'm sure he was looking out for you too. [Not that it helped matters! They both got injured in the end, and they both could have died! That was the point he was trying to make.

He's not sure if he could lose either of them right now.]

Just... please think about yourself once in a while? You don't always have to be the hero.

I'm n-- [he bristles, grimacing.] That's not what I was thinking about! It's not about being a hero! That thing had to be stopped, I had power to help do that. Anything less wouldn't be right, you know? The fact I could do anything at all was huge!

[This isn't the hill he wants to die on because he can see Manabu's perspective of the situation. This wasn't a one size fits all solution. He sighs again, moving to take a seat next to Manabu on the bed before he reaches over and gently takes his hand, twining their fingers together.]

I'm just worried about you, Manabu. [He finally says, staring at their hands together.] Because can't do anything to help you. I'm not a fighter. [Not really. He's trained with a bow but that wasn't really combat training as it was target practice. Though he's good at moving targets, it's just not the same as training to use it against someone else.]

I don't know what I'd do if you died again. [He practically whispers.] You dying once already was shocking enough... now that we're closer, now that we're together I just...

[He trails off, whatever he wants to say dying on this tongue.]

[Manabu's face heats up for a few seconds, but his hand somehow remains warm where it's held - either that's Ryunosuke's effect or his own blood's or both, he sure wouldn't be able to say. probably some mix. either way, being coldblood, things like that are hard to ignore.

because i can't do anything to help you, he says, and Manabu feels a little pang of guilt. relatable guilt, considering how many times he's seen friends and allies run off, leaving him behind to man the fort or...worse, do nothing at all. he's been on both sides, and no matter how hard he's tried to claw his way onto one side or the other, he shouldn't forget what it's like.

now that we're together makes him feel some kind of way, too. that's what this is, right? without so many defining terms. maybe spelling it out bluntly would make it clearer, but...]

...I'm sorry. [he doesn't look up, just keeping his eyes on their hands, his grip tightening to both secure it and remember the feeling more potently.] For not...thinking about your feelings. That's not fair.

I guess I just got used to...not having anybody worry that much anymore. [since he'd either be back anyway, or...or he just wasn't the one to worry about.]

It's all right. [He finally looks up, reaching with is free hand to cup at Manabu's face once more.] We're both still learning about this whole... dating thing. [He smiles gently.] I'm sure it's a learning curve and something we'll work through as long as we communicate.

[Which is true, he thinks, that as long as they communicate with each other their needs and their concerns, it should be a solid relationship. If he had known that they were in danger, maybe he could have done something! Maybe... he did just get his hands on his favored weapon so it wouldn't have been too far off to at least try and help.

He sighs.]

I'm just glad you're mostly okay. Now you should really be in bed resting. [He chides him lightly, gesturing for him to at least lay down.]

Edited 2022-05-12 16:44 (UTC)

[those gentle words and that earnest smile...does Manabu really deserve them? still learning, Ryunosuke says, yet he seems like such a pro! everything's relative, really...

he gulps, deaf to that prod about bedrest, his thoughts still on just how kind Ryunosuke is to sacrifice his time and efforts on someone who ran headfirst into trouble and has a busted ankle to show for it. he can't say he regrets doing what he did, only...he regrets not being able to be someone Ryunosuke can believe in, instead of someone who just worries him.

the hand on his face is warm, too...]

...Hey... What could I have done different? [he closes both of his hands over the one still laced with his.] To not scare you so much.

[What could he have done different? He wants to say run head first into danger but that's not reasonable. Not here. Not anywhere. It's not like he's one to talk as he ran after criminals who had shot Herlock, so he knows he would have likely made the same choices that Manabu and Kazuma made. It meant helping people, even if not everyone was going to make it.

He shakes his head.]

I don't think there's anything you could have done differently. [He says softly, dropping his hand from his cheek down to their clasped hands.] I think I'll always be scared that something is going to happen. I need to learn to trust you more, to put my faith in your strength. [He needs to believe in him without faltering.] I do trust you. [He quickly points out, face flushing.] Just so you know. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I need to trust your judgement more? Does that make sense?

[Did it make sense? He trusted Manabu a lot, but hearing about him running into battle - that's the part he needs to trust more of.]

Maybe... tell me when you're about to do something stupid?

...

[Manabu's mouth twitches, almost laughing despite the circumstance.]

Mn. Remind me now and then...what qualifies as stupid. I'm kind of a dummy about that. [he looks up to grin, but falters when he sees the color of Ryunosuke's face, double-blinking. there's a squeezing feeling in his chest that holds him in place for a beat before blurting:]

I might...do something stupid right now. Is that okay?

I think I can managed that. [He smiles again, almost laughing and squeeze's at Manabu's hand. As long as they kept communicating they'll have a strong relationship. He's certain of that.

He glances up again, and finds himself flushing more at his sudden remark.]

Something stupid now? [If it's getting up on your foot Manabu he's going to insist you don't!!] I.. sure?

[he utters a faint little sound of acknowledgement, gulping and steeling himself in preparation for following through on that something stupid - that something being...a lengthy hesitation? well, yes, that's dumb, but that wasn't the actual intention - that's just a side-effect.

what he meant was lifting one hand away to put it on Ryunosuke's shoulder for balance while leaning in to try and kiss the corner of his mouth. this is challenging for multiple reasons: 1. slight height disparities; 2. inexperience; 3. no depth perception due to that missing eye. it's the effort that counts, maybe.]

[Everything feels like it slows down as Manabu manages to kiss the corner of his mouth. There's such a softness to it that his heart practically stops at the notion, his face heating up. He's not embarrassed, just surprised. So surprised he doesn't move to do anything at first. Not for a solid few seconds before he's turning his head and returning this kiss - this time on the lips. Soft and sweet.

There's something exhilarating about it. His heart doesn't know how fast it wants to beat or if it should beat at all. And despite how he feels with time, it's over quickly as he pulls back in quiet awe.]

That-- [He barely manages to find his voice, a grin breaking out across his lips.] --Wasn't stupid at all.

[Manabu expected to make a swift retreat from that gesture, but Ryunosuke caught him before he could; he's left with his eyes fluttering back open in something of a daze while his brain catches up with reality versus intention.

his heart's pounding so loud he nearly misses that remark, but he can't miss the look on Ryunosuke's face.]

Gih-- [he goes scarlet, leaning back in a wave of bashfulness.] It! It was precaution! Precaution, you know?! That's the first time I ever-- [no, even admitting that is embarrassing!!]

I heard you the first time. [ As annoyed as he sounds, it's not really directed at Manabu or the saber being used to poke at him. His annoyance was more at the pain lancing up through his ribs and the fact he was facing a period of being laid up and out of commission.

Either way, he fires off a message to Ryunosuke (bf status does not grant you exclusive rights on that Manabu) and shifts (done with a hiss of more pain) to give his full attention.]

What is it?

[saber goes down now that attention is gotten.]

I let Ryunosuke know you're here and to come get you. You should be able to rest up back at your place, okay?

Wait--[A frown. Who told you that was allowed?] I just let him know you were here. To come get you.

Are we even cleared to go? [ Maybe one of them should have checked that?]

Eh?? [he grimaces.] But, butbut you live with him, not me! And I can't walk on this anyway!

And you're dating him. [Exasperation (Affectionate).] Clearly his attentions will be divided.

...And it's not as though there aren't means to transport you.

soft hours

@kazuma

@ryuno

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject