burnitblack: by burnitblack @ dreamwidth (ain't gonna do that)
Dabi (荼毘) ([personal profile] burnitblack) wrote in [community profile] deercountry 2022-12-30 05:33 am (UTC)

I'd rather not get used to it. I'd rather find a way to put that choice in my own hands. Not sure what we can do to take down those "gods" floatin around above us, but I'd support findin out. [then they could choose who goes and who stays. a far less painful choice since it'd be their own call. though he's aware that the sheer unpredictability of trench and those "gods" means anyone could come and go at any time. whether that's something to enjoy or fear is up to the individual, huh.]

Most people get sick of eatin the same dish over and over eventually. Keep someone wishin for death around long enough, they'll find somethin else to wish for and you'll lose ya chance. I don't intend on lettin him stay alive. That's too good for him. [especially since he blames is death on endeavor. death for death. and the other more pressing aspect: dabi doesn't exactly have a long life to live and savor that revenge. he's on borrowed time as it is, if his charring body doesn't give hints to that reality already. something he and maul can agree to disagree on.]

Don't compare your experience to mine. I ain't interested in that contest. [comparing fathers, saying who had it worse, there's always ultimately some semblance of superiority and downplay that results from it. not an aspect dabi wants to give seed to between himself and maul. the zabrak male is decent company. no point in poisoning it.]

Safe to say we haven't had the best in parents. [the sarcasm in his voice is a wry cover for that proverbial olive branch in regards to the comparison topic.]

Think ya mixin somethin up. Endeavor ain't a nightmare to me; he's a dream I aim to achieve. But I ain't gonna promise you I'd feel amazin burnin up a buncha conjured-up fakes. All that'll do is remind me the real one isn't here. I'm still trapped in this hellhole.

As for my brother, yeah, he'd come to my aid every time. He's an idiot like that.

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