June catch-all and Return of the Boy (OPEN)

[azurestar]

Who: Lance (azurestar)
What: June catch-all. Return from deer-hood.
When: All June. Boy returns first week.
Where: Forest, around town.

Content Warnings: depression, ptsd, nightmare demon, throat wound, house fire, will add as they appear

( ooc: Lance has spent most of April and May in his deer form, for those unfamiliar: the ability to transform into a deer is something some characters from Deerington obtained via death and a special event. There are consequences to transforming too often: you lose yourself more and more. This is what has happened to Lance over the course of the last 2 months. Pulling Lance out of this state is reserved for Keith alone, but there is a prompt to interact with him in the midst of this predicament. )

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WEEK 1

i. [This is the last time he was human. For a brief few hours at the start of June. The constant retreating into his deer form to escape from the loss of Hunk, of... just, so much, has increasingly caused him to become detached and not all there even when he's human. He's having trouble figuring out what he is, where he is, when he is... sometimes he feels like he's straddling two worlds at once, or drifting between spaces in time. He can be found on the first day of June for a short handful of hours wandering at any random hour of the day or night, looking almost like he's sleepwalking. It'll be difficult to get him to focus on you as he seems to keep staring off placidly at something else in the distance. He may even struggle to remember you. If there's any danger from beast or villain about to harm him, he doesn't seem aware at all no matter how much noise is made, even when you swoop in to save him.

And when those short handful of hours pass, he's slipping back into the form of a deer. If you've interacted with him in this form before, you'd have noted there was a sentient self awareness behind his big eyes. Now they are dull, he looks and acts so much like a real deer that it's likely disturbing and frightening to those who know better. He can be found mostly on the outskirts of the city in Trenchwood, and much like a real deer, he's rather skittish so approach carefully if you come upon him in this form instead of as a human.]

ii. [It's the end of the first week of June, and he's been pulled out of his deer fugue. If you'd happened upon him in his disconnect and/or or as a deer at any point in the last two months, the difference is striking. He's self aware, he's more present, but he's not completely back to himself ether. There's a lot of holes in his memory, things completely missing and slow to return, or in some cases, perhaps never to return. And he still has moments where he stares off at something far away or through someone. But it's momentary and he shakes his head to clear it of his own accord here and there.

To keep himself present and grounded, he's trying to go out to public spaces and engage. So of course, that means he'll be all over Willful Machine and Cellar Door especially. Catch him in the markets either noticing a thief trying to steal or falling into one of his detached moments and a thief taking advantage at that moment. Or find him in Earworm at the bar partaking in a little bit of alcohol and watching people dance, and after a few drinks, he'll get into a breakdancing contest with someone, but he's kind of fumbling a bit like Bambi, which is uncharacteristic, it's almost like he's still trying to figure out how to walk on two legs...]

( ooc: feel free to assume he wanders into any venue if you have an idea for a prompt. You may also assume/handwave that your character ran into Lance while he was in a similar state to prompt 1 at any point in the month of May. Including the Karate Tournament because he was involved in that. )

DREAMS and HOLES

i. [But of course yanking himself out of the deer dream, nightmares return in full. At first, he doesn't think much of it because he has them all the time anyway. But he seems to be more prone to waking nightmares now, they come on when he has his intermittent fugue states that still come along in the wake of nearly losing himself to being a deer. That's… not so usual.

Find Lance around town, sometimes seemingly frozen in the middle of a task and seeming to stare placidly into the middle distance. Maybe he was already talking to you or just saying hi, or in the middle of checking the hooves of the horse he's taken for a ride through town. Try to shake him out of it or perhaps come upon him as he's coming out of it with a strangled gasp on his own and shakily rubs at his face, trying to stay on his feet. His voice is hoarse, tone a weak attempt at dark humor.]

…Remind me why I didn't just stay a deer again…

[Or perhaps he happens upon you in the opposite predicament after he's been rid of his own demon, or is suffering the same. He'll approach with a slight notch in his brows, not looking entirely sure of himself in his own body, but not able to ignore your obvious plight.] …You okay?

ii. [He was a deer at the time when the earth started to shake and standing right where one of the ice cavers opened. He was so terrified on all levels both human and animal, he bolted so far out into the forest that he got lost for a good while. More lost than he already was, anyway. And if anyone tried to enter in the holes in that first week and he was nearby, you would have heard a loud elk screech in protest echoing through the trees. But he wouldn't come anywhere near that hole from where he stood watching you from afar, moving restlessly in fear, like the hole is a rabid bear.

Once he's human again, his reaction is not so frightened, and he doesn't seem to remember the holes at all from when he was a deer. He comes upon one for the first time as a human closer to town. He stops, stares, seems frozen and caught in another fugue. Then he turns on his heel and starts to walk away.]

Nope! no, nah-uh. No way. Not happening. Bye.

[Perhaps you really want him to come down there with you because you've been bitten by the adventure bug, or you agree. Regardless, he has very strong feelings about holes and there is a story there. Whether he will tell it or not probably depends on you. The real challenge is getting him in there if you're looking to try.]

SPIRITS

i. [At first he thought the spirits were his usual hallucinations. He tends to see people he loves and misses and has regrets of all the time in flashes and lingering moments all the time anyway. But just like the nightmares that started to get more harrowing and happen during the day, he does eventually figure out this might not be just his usual crazy.

It's more vivid than usual when he sees Hunk going through the food stalls like any other day in Willfull Machine, picking out the best crops out of what scarce ones there are. He hasn't hallucinated in that much vivid detail or color or in such an ordinary way in… it's hard to say, his memories are still messed up since he nearly lost himself to his deer form. After staring hard for a long moment, he'll reach out without looking to the first person he can, gripping their ar,]

Do you see a big guy with an orange headband over there or am I losing my mind? …Again.

ii. [It's not just Hunk, he also sees pretty much everyone else as well. The hardest is Allura, because of course Allura is there. Of course, she appears as the ghost she was in her last moments caught in a loop. His memories are a patchwork of of holes, and the ones around that time in his life… one of the worst times, are the most shattered. But that image he will never be allowed to forget in full, it seems.

It's when he's out and about when he sees her against a building wall and he has to stumble back into another wall as it knocks the breath out of him. Tunnel vision takes hold and he can barely breath, breaths short and shallow. He looks like a frozen terrified deer caught in headlights just waiting for the oncoming collusion and unable to think enough through the terror to move.]

iii. [If he still had lingering doubts about if the ghosts are a product of his own mind or something else, they certainly dissipate when Chloe's ghost starts wrecking his living room. Bolin's not at home, thankfully, or he's pretty sure his friend would freak out and make it a lot harder to calm her down. He doesn't know how or why he knows what to do, but when she throws a table outside the front window and he trips over himself falling out of the window as well, he gets up, ignoring any glass piece in his skin and just starts talking.

To a passersby, this might look like a domestic dispute and his parter is inside the house throwing all his things out on the lawn after he cheated or something. He dodges an old musty lamp getting tossed out onto the street and people are starting to stare…]

H-hey, Chloe. Remember… remember that time I came over to your house and flew the Red Lion to your window? I offered to show you the world, but you were too cool to get on my magic lion carpet ride… or I think that's how it went.

[His memory is still such a mess, so he's not entirely sure. But maybe that is indeed how it went because there's a pause in the throwing of things. Is that a good thing or bad thing he wonders…]

Comments

[azurestar]

[Lance frowns and does as Sasuke wants, looking at him with a heavy weight of loss. A lot of people Lance cared about have left one after the other recently and this ghost of Chloe just feels like rubbing his nose in it all. And he knows what Sasuke says is true, but he'd really wanted to believe for a moment that maybe just for once he can make this into a good thing.

He looks down at the ground and tightly crosses his arms over his middle, hunching his shoulders against how he feels. He is visibly refusing to cry and has to turn his head away just in case he fails.]

I'm… really tired of saying goodbye. [Not that he really got to say goodbye in the first place with anyone he's lost, but still…] Any… [sigh] any idea how to…? [do this.]

[retsuden]

[ There's a pang of understanding, one that he's sure Lance can feel himself so he doesn't bother saying the words. He simply nods, using the summoning jutsu he keeps attached to his wrist bands to make a shuriken appear. ]

Sakura said there's a ritual. One where we have to mix our blood. She's probably not going to like it, so we'll have to be quick. Tell me when you're ready.