deercountry | you can't wake up, this is not a dream // closed october catchall

[ Sometimes.

Sometimes Yuri does something completely innocuous. He'll taste something he's cooking with a finger like an idiot, or lift his hair up to tie it back, or, apparently, put on a mask, and Flynn's heart will just sort of lose its rhythm for a moment. It's been happening more and more frequently, likely because he's around Yuri all the time now, and Flynn has no idea where to put the warm, sharp swell of feeling that washes through him like the rising tide. He can't look away from Yuri in that mask, turning his head this way and that, grinning under its contours. Yuri likes it, and Flynn picked it out, and that makes him unbearably happy for a few moments. ]

It suits you.

[ He can't quite keep the affection from his voice, has to clear his throat afterwards and hurry onward, his face hot, ]

Slightly better than a rabbit one.

Bunnies aren't my vibe.

[ But wolves? Wolves are cool. Yuri likes wolves, feels a kinship with them (just look at Repede).

He's oblivious to the effect this is having on Flynn, but the way he says those words makes Yuri feel warm in a strange way, and he shoots Flynn a grin, half-hidden by the mask. ]

Good thing I brought some money.

[ He pulls a few rocks out of his pockets, offering them to the vendor. ]

This do it?

[ He's probably over paying, but they're just rocks, he doesn't mind. ]

Yuri, you're supposed to ask first—

[ Flynn has to bodily resist the urge to pull Yuri's hand back. It's not like his sense of how much things are worth is any more developed, it's just that Yuri's sense of money is... warped... and while it's easy enough to pick those rocks up, Flynn would like to make sure they're able to actually get through the month.

Luckily, though, the vendor just blinks at the rocks, then up at Yuri, and dryly informs them it's a buy-one-get-one special. ]

Hey, that's great! Flynn, you need one.

[ He laughs easily, feeling lighter than he has in a while. Maybe it's being around all these people enjoying themselves. That always puts him in a good mood.

His eyes track along the masks, and his grin grows when they land on, what else, but a bunny mask. He points up at it. ]

Try that one on.

[ Flynn follows his finger and—

Immediately snorts, lifting a hand to hide his laughter. ]

Really, Yuri?

You love bunnies! Come on, Flynn.

[ Yuri reaches up to grab it off the rack, holding it out for Flynn ]

You said they're cute.

Rabbits. It's different.

[ Like that's literally any different, and anyway, Flynn's absolutely accepting the mask anyway, ignoring the slight brush of fingers when he plucks it from Yuri's hand. It's as well-made as Yuri's, all edges and long, graceful ears, soft when Flynn runs his fingers over them.

After a moment, he holds it up to his face, peering at Yuri through the eye-holes. ]

Enough to scare away spirits, do you think?

[ Yuri bursts out in a laugh, but, really, Flynn looks good. Somehow, he pulls the whole bunny thing off ]

Yeah, super spooky. Can't even look at you, I'm so scared.

Hey, we'll take this one, too.

[ The vendor just waves a hand at them, and Yuri takes Flynn's wrist, tugging him out of the stall. ]

[ Flynn just kind of lets himself be tugged, glad for the mask hiding his cheeks. He should be normal about this, and not think about Yuri's cool hand around his wrist. ]

I don't think rabbits are as weak and cute as everyone makes them out to be—wow. This is quite the festival! This might be bigger than the Harvest Festival, even. Doesn't it sort of remind you of that?

Huh, yeah, it kind of does.

[ Yuri glances back at him with another smile. He feels giddy and light, and Flynn looks kind of cute in that mask. Like the dumb bunny guild, but at least he doesn't have to wear one this time.

They find themselves in a square that's full of music and dancing. It's raucous and loud and Yuri laughs brightly ]

When was the last time you danced? Man, it's been forever!

[ Seeing all the whirling dancers, a riot of color to replace the sober blacks Flynn is used to seeing in Crenshaw and Prufrock, makes something in his chest ache. He comes to a stop beside Yuri, their hands still sort of tangled together, trying to remember, already shifting a little from foot to foot in time with what sounds like a violin, but amplified and pumped up by drums. ]

Honestly, I think it was when we got into that competition at New Years before I made Lieutenant. They look like they're having fun.

[ AKA, Flynn wants to join them so bad but his sense of decorum is very slightly holding him back/ ]

Oh, right. Man, that was fun.

[ They didn't win, neither of them, but they sure had fun. They were a little drunk and a lot caught up in the joy of the new year. He glances at Flynn, knowing what's holding him back, so he looks around and lets go of Flynn's hand to find something alcoholic. Neither of them drink very much anymore, but it's a party, Flynn isn't the Commandant here, and a little alcohol helps him let go.

He manages to find some alcoholic cider, and weaves his way back to Flynn with a smile hidden behind his mask. He just wants Flynn to have fun, to let go, to have a good time. He pushes one of them into Flynn's hands, falling in against his side to watch the dancers ]

[ Flynn isn't sure where Yuri disappeared to, and he's sort of surprised to find something warm and sweet-smelling pressed into his hands, half-turns just in time to nudge his shoulder into Yuri's in thanks. ]

I can't believe they're giving this away for free, still. LIfe at home would have been much easier had so much food just been... available.

[ He has no idea it's alcoholic, but the moment he takes a sip he makes a surprised little sound and shoots Yuri a Look. Alright. He sees what's happening here. ]

Do you know how much effort I put into avoiding drinks exactly like this at Imperial gatherings? Everyone seems to think I should be falling down by the end of the night. I can't imagine it's with good intentions.

[ He says, downing more of it. It's good, bitter and sweet at the same time, and very warm. ]

I promise, my intentions are golden.

[ Even if he wouldn't mind seeing Flynn falling-over drunk. It is hilarious, and he hasn't seen that since they were 18 and stupid.

He sips his own cider, enjoying the warmth and the burn of the alcohol. At least booze makes him feel warmer. He stays close to Flynn's side, wrapped up in the joy of all of this ]

Guess this place has some stuff on home. Free food, for one. Nice people. No awful laws and bureaucracy making life hard for everyone-- yes, I know there are problems with that, but at least it's not the same ones as the Empire.

I highly doubt that.

[ He snorts, mostly teasing because he's too wrapped up in the warmth from the cider and Yuri getting him a cider alike. Would Yuri like to dance, too? Maybe—he got his own drink, and he always has fun when Flynn drags him into something like that. It'd be nice to dance with him again. It really has been a long time. ]

But, no, I have to admit you're correct. I miss the structure, but... it's true that one set of laws can't possibly apply fairly to every situation. This place seems to have figured that out earlier than I did. Or perhaps they have enough making life difficult without applying something like that as well?

Think it's the second one. This place, yeah. It has a lot of problems, think people die so often, get attacked so much, why make life more difficult? Like with all those empty houses.

[ He shakes his head, voice soft. It's not the best topic of conversation for a place like this, for a party, but it's also Flynn. This is what they do. They can talk about (almost) anything, when it's just them, in their own little bubble inside of the noise and smells and color. ]

Lots of stuff seems to be by necessity, here. Think we can help with that. [ Doing what needs to be done, stepping in when others can't ] That's what we're good at.

[ It does feel like they're in their own little place. Flynn often forgets about the world around him in the company of Yuri: there's something about him that just draws Flynn in, muffles the rest of the world and focuses Flynn's attention entirely on him. He can't help but orbit around Yuri with a lowkey, constant awareness, like a buzz at the edge of his senses. When they're standing together like this, there may as well be no one else in the world.

Smiling softly, Flynn downs the rest of his cider and nods, already warm and buzzing from the bit of alcohol. Of course Yuri wants to help these people. Of course he feels a duty toward them: he is the best person Flynn knows in any world. ]

We should help. We will. It's a way to make up for being given all this free cider.

Yeah, gotta do something to make up for it.

[ Yuri follows suit, drinking the rest of his cider and shivering at the burn. He flashes Flynn a grin, and heads out onto the dance floor. He has a feeling Flynn will follow, but it's more fun if he does, instead of Yuri dragging him out here.

He gets himself lost in the mass of people, the alcohol curling warm in his belly, making his mind just a little hazy, letting him let go a little more. It helps that barely anyone knows him, he doesn't care what they think at all. He can lose himself in the movement, in the music, happy and content and glad to be here with Flynn, like old times before Flynn had too much responsibility and before Yuri was a disappointment. At least Flynn has forgiven him, at least Flynn doesn't seem to see him that way, anymore, but it's always there, in the back of his mind. A disappointment, a waste of space, only good for what he can give to others. He doesn't mind it, much, except when he sees Flynn doing amazing things and knows he'll never measure up, he'll never be like Flynn.

But at least Flynn still likes him, still wants to be around him. Yuri doesn't know what he would do if Flynn didn't want to be near him.

Those thoughts aren't helping him let go, though, so he lets them slide off of him. He can deal with that later. For now, his eyes search out Flynn, and he grins brighter, like a challenge. ]

[ Yuri is really quite a good dancer.

He moves a little like he's fighting, fluid and fast and impulsive, following none of the actual steps of the people around him and somehow blending in anyway. Flynn is caught up in the whirl of hair and his sash for a moment, in the challenge in that grin and the color in his cheeks, oddly blue.

How is he meant to say no to that? He doesn't know the steps, but he wants to dance, and Yuri is challenging him however silently, and so Flynn follows him into the crowd with an answering grin, shifting into dance-steps halfway there and whirling as the song crescendos. ]

[ Yuri laughs into the chill night air and catches Flynn's hand when he's close, pulling him in because he's warm, because it's more fun to dance with someone than on his own. He's reminded of dancing with Estelle and Judy at a tavern in Dahngrest, a night of revelry in the middle of everything when they just needed to blow off steam.

They aren't Flynn, though. That was just fun, it was fun and easy and he could pull them in a twirl them around, and let Judy dip him because she could, and thought it was funny. With Flynn, it is more like a fight, like they're moving together, but also competing. It's fun, so much fun, and reminds him so much of their youth, of the lower quarter, of being awkward teenagers who tried liqueur for the first time and danced until dawn, and had splitting headaches the next day that Hanks just laughed at them for, and gave them the day off to learn from their mistakes.

He pulls Flynn in close, a hand in his, a hand on his back, and maybe it's a step too far, but he isn't thinking about that. He's just thinking about having fun, and the flush on Flynn's face, and the way he's smiling, and it has him wound up and giddy ]

[ For once, Flynn isn't thinking about the meanings behind things, either. He's caught in Yuri's orbit all over again, in the thrill of dancing-like-fighting and being close and moving with him, easy as anything. They're not the best dancers in the world but they know how to move together, how to stay in sync. Yuri pulls him in and Flynn goes as easy as that, laughing and flushed as the music switches into something brighter and faster and much more like a dance they both know: one that Hanks and Miriam taught them step-by-step, ale-soaked and laughing, when they were children. Flynn lets out an excited whoop entirely without meaning to, letting his hand land on the small of Yuri's back, and tugs him into the closest approximation of the steps as he can remember. It's a fast, sort of wild dance, the kind of thing you throw yourself into halfway through a festival, the kind that steals all your breath by the end. It's thrilling.

Neither of them is really leading. Flynn spins Yuri away, and Yuri comes back to him laughing and lifts him up for a bare second, and Flynn's heart lifts right along with the rest of him and stays there, hammering in his throat even when his feet touch the ground again. He sweeps Yuri up against himself like Hanks used to do, and their faces are so close even behind the masks. He hasn't seen Yuri like this in ages, so freely enjoying himself. He's warm (finally) and solid against Flynn's body, laughing and bright, and all Flynn wants to do is keep him right there, as close as he can possibly get. They spin apart again, onto the arms of two other dancers, and then back together and Flynn laughs a little helplessly with the flush of warmth and feeling swelling up against his ribs as the song crashes to its end, leaving them pressed together, breathless and laughing. Somehow, they're at the center of the circle of dancers. Somehow, Flynn's arm is around Yuri's waist, and Yuri's hand is cool and strong in his.

The world had already narrowed to Yuri and Yuri's hands and the confident, clean movement of his body, but as the music shifts into something softer and slower and the other dancers start to move, Flynn stays right where he is. He can't seem to make himself move, can't remember even that he's supposed to, because Yuri is close and flushed strangely blue like he gets these days, and smiling. Probably it's the smile (and the quiet buzz of alcohol) that makes him lean in, slow and soft, and press a kiss to Yuri's lips under the edges of his mask. ]

[ He's swept up in it, in a way he usually only is when he fights. Swept up and laughing and having fun, pressing close to Flynn, and away, and close again. It's dizzying and he doesn't really want it to stop, but he panting a bit when the song ends, and Flynn's holding onto him, wrapped around him like he's been to keep Yuri warm in their bed, and he's so close and Yuri isn't even all that surprised when Flynn kisses him. Okay, maybe a little surprised. He sucks in a breath, taking a bare moment to catch up that, yeah, Flynn is kissing him. Flynn, perfect, smart, strong Flynn, the Commandant, his best friend, the best person in the whole damn world, is choosing to kiss him, Yuri.

Well, who is he to question it? If he's honest with himself, yeah. He's wanted this for a while, a long while, but he's not the one who has something to lose, he's not the one who can make that choice for Flynn, and Flynn's choosing to do this, and his lips are warm and chapped and Yuri hasn't kissed anyone in a long time, and never really liked it much, but he likes this, even with the noses of their masks making it awkward, their masks slipping up their faces as Yuri leans in, kissing him back because what else would he do?

People are moving around them, dancing slower now, and they're not really moving, and Yuri doesn't care. No one else matters right now except him and Flynn, and Flynn's hands and lips on him, their bodies pressed flush together. It's like no one else is there. Maybe they aren't. Maybe it's just them, here, now, the rest of the city disappeared into smoke. ]

[ It is sort of impossible to think about anything like this. The constantly-running stream of Flynn's thoughts has dammed, swirling in on itself in a dizzying eddy he can't pull himself out of: there is Yuri, and there is the heart-stopping moment before Yuri leans in and kisses him to, and then there's only heat and the urge to get closer, to wrap himself around Yuri like a barrier against the cold and stay there. Coals burn quiet and warm in Flynn's belly as he tilts his head, letting his mask slide up and nearly off his head in the quest to get closer, because Yuri—

(Yuri who he has wanted for months, for years, probably, if Flynn is really honest with himself, Yuri who is the center of Flynn's gravity whether he likes it or not)

—Yuri is kissing him back, and that's the only thing that matters.

Flynn has no idea how long they stand there, not really, but he can't seem to make himself stop even when his lips are kiss-swollen in a way they haven't ever really been. He just wants to be closer and every time Yuri even slightly pulls back Flynn chases after him with a small breathless sound and kisses him again like if he stops, then it's over. ]

[ It really takes over Yuri's whole body, warmth running through his lips to his mind, down into his stomach and fingers and toes. He didn't know that kissing could be so much, so pleasant, so thrilling, but kissing Flynn is certainly those things. It's those things and so many others and he isn't thinking, just moving, still half dancing, swaying into Flynn, his arms wrapping tighter around him, pulling him in, kissing him breathless and deep.

The world could be gone for all he cares in this moment. He just wants this, wants Flynn and this kiss and this feeling, deep in his gut, that Flynn wants him.

He only breaks the kiss when another song strikes up and someone slams into his back. He gasps, falling into Flynn, sending them both stumbling, but instead of getting mad, he just laughs, grabbing tight to Flynn so they don't bowl completely over ]

[ It's probably a good thing that someone bumped into them, even if it does startle Flynn out of his haze, because they might have just kept doing this forever. Flynn stumbles back as well, shoving a heel into the ground to keep them both upright, and bursts into laughter at the same time as Yuri as the music swells up again. He feels bright and sort of like he's floating a few inches from the ground, even as he calls an apology to the couple who bumped into them. ]

Come on, we should— [ Flynn tugs at Yuri's arm, grinning like an idiot as he pulls them back out of the dancing circle. ]

you can't wake up, this is not a dream // closed october catchall

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