He crumples at the waist a little. Being stabbed feels like being punched, at first. Then the pain of sliced nerves comes a moment later, and one realizes too late the extent of the damage.
"I didn't leave you," he sobs quietly, hands cradling the air as if to hold his gutted flesh in (or to hold one angel close). He recites and paraphrases, "'When outnumbered, until more help comes, make a line. A safe zone. Put the wounded there. Guard it with your life.'”
He's without the cloak he swaddled Kaworu in after he was returned from Beast form. It's probably somewhere in this house. He feels cold even though it's summer. Reciting his notes usually reassures him. It doesn't.
"'The walking wounded are low priority because they can move.' I got Sauveterre-san and Paul-kun off the battlefield so I could protect you. I held the line. You were my top priority. You were safe. And then you were gone..."
His voice fades weakly. He bows his head and squeezes his eyes. Tears drop onto the floor and are lost forever. He may have followed his training, but all that matters to him is results. Those reflect on him. It's a harsh standard he doesn't hold others to. A hero is supposed to save everyone. He failed to save Kaworu, and this eclipses everything he did before that moment, even giving of his own blood to return Kaworu's will and sense of self.
"I wasn't in sight. I failed to reassure you. I'm sorry."
cw: metaphorical description of being gutted
"I didn't leave you," he sobs quietly, hands cradling the air as if to hold his gutted flesh in (or to hold one angel close). He recites and paraphrases, "'When outnumbered, until more help comes, make a line. A safe zone. Put the wounded there. Guard it with your life.'”
He's without the cloak he swaddled Kaworu in after he was returned from Beast form. It's probably somewhere in this house. He feels cold even though it's summer. Reciting his notes usually reassures him. It doesn't.
"'The walking wounded are low priority because they can move.' I got Sauveterre-san and Paul-kun off the battlefield so I could protect you. I held the line. You were my top priority. You were safe. And then you were gone..."
His voice fades weakly. He bows his head and squeezes his eyes. Tears drop onto the floor and are lost forever. He may have followed his training, but all that matters to him is results. Those reflect on him. It's a harsh standard he doesn't hold others to. A hero is supposed to save everyone. He failed to save Kaworu, and this eclipses everything he did before that moment, even giving of his own blood to return Kaworu's will and sense of self.
"I wasn't in sight. I failed to reassure you. I'm sorry."