[ Jessica tries to believe in her family. She's a loving person at her core, and the things she's learned about them, and the process of trying to understand them have created a belief in the importance of looking at others with understanding and compassion. She wouldn't have been able to accept Sayo, or her parents, without that strength.
But right now everything is distorted. Love and forgiveness isn't all that Jessica is. There's also a headstrong, privileged girl who's still coming to terms with the idea of truly bad things happening to her, and the selfish rage it brings. Right now she doesn't want to understand. She doesn't want to forgive.
She doesn't but—
"Is that what you want?" ]
As if that matters! Won't she just be back too, then!? Why does she matter more than the people I care about?
[ But her cry is weaker now, just a protest. Her shoulders, trembling with fury, begin to slacken. She just doesn't want to lose anybody else. Isn't Ange the same way? She has a glimpse of Faith on that night, her smile, her touch—
"I'm doing this for your sake too." Some part of her had been afraid that Ange despised her now, and if she did, maybe she was right to. Jessica welcomed the harbinger of that tragedy back into her life, and it's no surprise that Ange couldn't share that space. That's why a nerve is struck with her when, despite everything, it's Ange that comes to her rescue, the last survivor of her family, who she came back to after 12 years. Ange, without whom she would have been lost, who gave her a home, who comforted her in their shared grief—
For a moment that feels like a eternity, she stares into her cousin's face, pale and haunted. Then she slumps against the wall, sliding down. ]
...Whatever.
[ She buries her face in the crook of her arm, and sobs, because she doesn't know what else to do. ]
no subject
But right now everything is distorted. Love and forgiveness isn't all that Jessica is. There's also a headstrong, privileged girl who's still coming to terms with the idea of truly bad things happening to her, and the selfish rage it brings. Right now she doesn't want to understand. She doesn't want to forgive.
She doesn't but—
"Is that what you want?" ]
As if that matters! Won't she just be back too, then!? Why does she matter more than the people I care about?
[ But her cry is weaker now, just a protest. Her shoulders, trembling with fury, begin to slacken. She just doesn't want to lose anybody else. Isn't Ange the same way? She has a glimpse of Faith on that night, her smile, her touch—
"I'm doing this for your sake too." Some part of her had been afraid that Ange despised her now, and if she did, maybe she was right to. Jessica welcomed the harbinger of that tragedy back into her life, and it's no surprise that Ange couldn't share that space. That's why a nerve is struck with her when, despite everything, it's Ange that comes to her rescue, the last survivor of her family, who she came back to after 12 years. Ange, without whom she would have been lost, who gave her a home, who comforted her in their shared grief—
For a moment that feels like a eternity, she stares into her cousin's face, pale and haunted. Then she slumps against the wall, sliding down. ]
...Whatever.
[ She buries her face in the crook of her arm, and sobs, because she doesn't know what else to do. ]