[His soapy hands, busy washing glasses now, become still.]

I don't know. It felt good to say.

[He considers the question for a moment longer, expression pensive. Quietly, he adds:]

I guess . . . there was a part of me that enjoyed it, and a part of me that didn't. It felt like love. It was nice being taken care of without having to ask for it. But I was hiding a lot of things about myself, too.