"... I suppose not, but I..." He swallows, trying to breathe normally. It's... fine. He's fine. This is totally okay.
(It's not okay at all.)
"But as I helped carry their bodies to the lichyard all I could think about was how much time I wasted. And some of them... I didn't even get to know their names. And... a lot of those other bodies on the shore... they're also people I was too late to save."
He brushes a tear away from his eye in frustration, doing his best to keep it together. "If I had been faster I could have saved her. If I had just found the source of the Final Days faster I could have saved him. If I could just be more of a beacon of hope for people, if I could be where I needed to be at the right time I could have saved so many people, but I -"
He presses his head into his hands, shoulders shaking. "I know what taking on too much expectation can do to someone. I've seen it literally warp someone. And I don't want to become that. I don't - but at the same time if I could save everyone, I would." He doesn't want people to see him as any less of a person than anyone else. That way lies primal worship and ascendance which never ends well for anyone.
But at the same time... the whole world is his responsibility now, isn't it? All the worlds, even - he rescued them all. But he's just one person.
"... I shouldn't be putting this on you. I... apologize."
Shadowbringers/Endwalker spoilers
(It's not okay at all.)
"But as I helped carry their bodies to the lichyard all I could think about was how much time I wasted. And some of them... I didn't even get to know their names. And... a lot of those other bodies on the shore... they're also people I was too late to save."
He brushes a tear away from his eye in frustration, doing his best to keep it together. "If I had been faster I could have saved her. If I had just found the source of the Final Days faster I could have saved him. If I could just be more of a beacon of hope for people, if I could be where I needed to be at the right time I could have saved so many people, but I -"
He presses his head into his hands, shoulders shaking. "I know what taking on too much expectation can do to someone. I've seen it literally warp someone. And I don't want to become that. I don't - but at the same time if I could save everyone, I would." He doesn't want people to see him as any less of a person than anyone else. That way lies primal worship and ascendance which never ends well for anyone.
But at the same time... the whole world is his responsibility now, isn't it? All the worlds, even - he rescued them all. But he's just one person.
"... I shouldn't be putting this on you. I... apologize."