deercountry | (Closed) Dying is easy

Entry tags:

(Closed) Dying is easy

Who: Diluc, Kaeya, Catra, and Diluc's Cr (if you know Diluc, you're good.)
What: Diluc returns to life and the aftermath
When: October 15 mid-morning to October 18th.
Where: Diluc and Catra's residence in Cellar Door.
Content Warnings: Body horror, cursing, mental health issues, mentions of substance abuse

Visions are a light to those who are lost (closed to Catra and Kaeya)
[Darkness.

Cold darkness where the dwindling air was starting to leave him concerned. Him? Him. That sounds right. His name and whatever he is, eludes him. His memories feel like fragments of something sharp raining down, but unable to come together.

He tries to put it together. Again, he's denied. But pieces of a memory surfaces to give him just enough to realize how he might have...died. Ice. Shouting. Sharp things and the light inside him crushed under an oppressive loneliness too deep to get past.

The air is almost out. Something bursts above him and light pierces his space. He tries to swim away, but the liquid is starting to drain.

The featureless grey surface of Diluc's Vision flickers then bursts into brilliant red light. Motes of fire dance on the air and fade. Diluc Ragnvindr is once again, alive.]

Day 1, Lord of the Bathtub(open)

[After the initial flurry of activity and panic. Diluc is left to drift in a body of water. It isn't the sea, but it will do for now. He's a small red squid swimming back and forth inside the filled tub. He can't put his memories together just yet. He keeps trying and that's tiring.

But he does it anyway. When someone comes into the bathroom he sticks a tentacle out of the water as he drifts closer to the surface. If he's friendly with them he grips the side of the tub and pulls himself up enough to get a glimpse before he sinks back down.]

Day 2, Almost but not quite (open)

[It feels like he's been slowly piecing himself together. There's not enough there to find his way back out of the water. At least, not yet. He can recognize the people that visit and trace letters on their hands with his tentacles. It's progress.

The light from his Vision feels within reach. If he could just remember everything then he could push himself all the way back to himself. To the duties waiting for him.

He jets water at nothing and streaks through the water. By now, small shells and pretty stones glint from the bottom of the tub. Little gifts. Sometimes he drifts over them, brushing past them as he circles.]

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[He lifts two tentacles up and forms a Y in the air. Then he lets them slip back in. He gestures with one towards Yuri’s hand.

He prefers to be able to trace letters. If Yuri catches on he traces two words out a letter at a time.]

You protected.

[The city. His sanity in a way. The people. He had thought to say thank you but that didn’t fit. So this is what he chose.]

[ Yuri holds out his hand, laughing softly. It's a weird feeling, but he gets it after a moment that Diluc is trying to communicate with him. He's not the best reader, but he gets it, mostly. ]

I... yeah. Yeah. Sure.

[ "You're welcome" isn't right, either. ]

Hey, if you're going down that path again, you have friends. Me, Flynn, Kaeya. We'll help you, okay? And, damn. If I do the same thing, you can kill me.

[Diluc twists in the water, latching tentacles onto the side of the tub to stay near Yuri's hand. He misses being bigger. That much he can recall just not...what he was when he wasn't this. But hour by hour he gets a little closer.]

Will protect. [It will hurt. Yuri is rough around the edges but kind. Kinder than he probably realizes he is. He's a friend. For the peace that they all deserve he will do what must be done.

Maybe this is what his father meant when he told him to take more than his light into the dark. He blows out bubbles and spells out a little more.]

Catra too. [He pauses to rest a little. Forming letters is hard work for a tiny squid. Then he writes.] How is Kaeya?

[Because the smiling bastard of a captain will lie to him. It's how they are these days.]

[ Yuri slips down to his knees, holding out his other hand in case Diluc wants to hold on with his other tentacles. He stays there, both hands extended, watching Diluc.

Yuri, at least, is patient. He doesn't mind sitting in silence, trying to figure out the words Diluc is pressing against his skin.

It helps that Diluc has his number. He is exactly that: the person who will do what must be done. It's what he does, what he will do, and assume no credit for it, no matter what his friends say. ]

C-a-t-r-a? Cat-ra? I don't know that. Is that a person?

Kaeya, I asked him to take care of you. Looks like he did a good job.

[ Since Diluc is still here. Or, is here now, as a squid.

Too bad Yuri also isn't the best with the truth, especially other people's truth. It's for them to tell, not him. ]

[He transfers his other tentacles to wrap comfortably around the offered hands. Kaeya feels like a weighty and complicated topic. He can't put the tentacle on why just yet.

Just like he knows Kaeya probably hid whatever he was feeling about all this. He blows bubbles then writes.] Catra is a friend. Housemate.

[There. That's been established. He settles for now just letting himself drift a little while still holding on. He's never been a really touchy person but something in him has missed simple contact with another person he knows.]

Good, yeah. [ That he isn't living alone. Sure, he can handle himself, but Yuri's still glad that there's someone to look after him, especially like this. Flynn was a mess after he came back to life.

It is weirdly comfortable, to kneel here with tentacles wrapped around his arms. It's nice, to just stay for a while, watching Diluc sway in the water. But even he can only sit with his thoughts for so long, thoughts of that night when Diluc attacked him, thoughts of waiting with Flynn's corpse, decaying into ink and crystals, of Flynn's own squid self, growing so rapidly, nothing like this sedate pace Diluc seems to be moving at.

Maybe that's better. It was pretty weird. ]

Guess you have a lot to look forward to, huh? You get to be human again. But, hey, this doesn't seem like the worst life, being a squid.

[If a squid could blink, Diluc would have. He blows more bubbles as more pieces click into place in his head. Human.

That’s right. He used to be like everyone else. He still can’t quite remember the man he was but he was one. Until he wasn’t.]

It’s not terrible. Memories are coming together. Slowly.

But you remember me.

[ He'd hate if Diluc didn't know what he'd did, and was confiding in him like this. But, well, he already said he did. ]

What about you... you have really red hair, like to wear a mask, and are a damn good fighter. What else? You helped me. You're a good guy.

[ Is that what he needs to hear? Yuri doesn't know, but it's true. He has a good read on people, and he's damn sure that Diluc is good people. ]

[Faint threads of memory drift up. His shockingly red hair that's a sign of his lineage stretches back to the first Dawn Knight who stood-

Eyes as red as his hair. Countless battles stretching back to his earliest days. Trained to fight and stand between others and-]

Of course, I helped you. You were in pain.

[It's that simple to him. Yuri was hurting and he could help. However small.] You would have done the same for me.

Edited 2021-10-16 23:27 (UTC)

...yeah. I would.

[ Diluc's style of comfort is close to his own. Being there, supporting, but not letting anyone wallow. He did his best to help Kaeya, too. ]

Remember anything else? I have no idea if Flynn remembered anything before he changed back. He was a squid, then, bam! Not a squid. It was kind of gross, so... be ready for that.

[He has to think about it. He still can't quite put it all together. There are key pieces still missing. What are those pieces?]

I remember a lot of things now. But for some reason, it won't all come together. It feels like once I can I'll be able to become human again.

At first, I didn't remember anything. It was like being on the pirate ship again.

Man, yeah. Good times.

[ Diluc was so determined, kept moving forward, and Yuri admired that, even back then. It kept them alive, Diluc showed him how to use his powers. It was an important step. ]

It'll come. [ He sounds more sure than he is. Flynn is their only test case, so far. There's no reason that Diluc will react in the same way ] When it does, text me. I feel like you owe me a punch in the gut.

[ Even if it was for the greater good, Yuri did still kill him ]

[There's a moment of silence. That sounds like asking him to do it. He blows bubbles in the water and starts to write but he takes it slow. He wants to be sure Yuri understands him.

He doesn't know if saying he's fine will help. This feels less about him and more about what happened.]

Will that make you feel better?

Me? [ He laughs softly, shaking his head. He isn't the most aware of his own emotions, isn't aware that, yeah, that would make him feel better ] Wouldn't make me feel worse, if that's what you're asking. Hell, man. I killed you. No matter if it was for a good reason, it still... it sucks.

[ He almost died, once. Should have died, in almost the exactly same way he killed Diluc, a sword to the gut. He didn't punch the girl who did it, but... He didn't forgive her, either. ]

[He rests his tentacles on Yuri’s hand as he thinks that over. Again he writes slow. He has a lot to say and this conserves energy.

If he could just be himself he could use his damn mouth. But it eludes him still. With a blow of bubbles he sets himself to it.] I don’t see it the same way. I have a responsibility to the safety of others and I failed it. I put you in a position that you had to kill a friend.

Since one night years ago, I have walked alone. It felt like the only way to do what needed to be done. No matter the cost to myself. What must be done is important or there will be no peace.

Instead I left a glaring hole from which others could be hurt. By me. You were hurt. Even if you did what must be done to nullify a threat. It left a mark. It always does.

[ Yuri almost interrupts him a few times, but the squid is so diligently writing on him, and he has to pay attention to catch the words. He thanks Flynn's mom for teaching them to read, or else this conversation would be impossible ]

You know, if I learned one thing in the last year, it's that we're not half alone what we are with other people. I used to think the same way, that I had to do everything myself, that other people shouldn't be burdened with something if I can handle it myself.

But I have friends, who just kept showing up to help me. And we did great things together, things that I could never have done by myself. So, let me be your friend right now. You fucked up, sure, but we all fuck up. I helped you, sort of, and it left a mark on both of us.

I think that's how friendship works.

[A long time ago, he took having friends and allies for granted. Then the whole world was nothing but lies. His best friend.

His father. The very thing he devoted himself to.

And he had craved having someone who understood. Even as he had kept everyone at arm’s length. It was a weakness to keep them there. And he…needs them. Closer. Safe where he can see them.] You are my friend. I’m not used to opening up anymore but, I’ll try to remember I can’t do all of this by myself.

This losing myself to something like this. I won’t allow it to happen again. You did help me. And I’ll help you whenever you need it.

Thanks, man. You don't owe me anything, but... yeah. We'll help each other.

[ Easy as that. That's how it is, with him. He watches Diluc for a second, then shakes his head. ]

Hard to learn, trust me. I've had it beaten into me more than once.

[ Literally and figuratively ]

[He rolls himself briefly because it lets the water run over his soft body. Sometimes motions like that make things a little easier.]

I'll help because I want to. But, you're right. It is a hard lesson to learn.

[He would never forget it after this. He rolls again. At this point, why the hell not.]

I'm starting to realize I didn't know it before either.

Yeah, me neither.

[ He shakes his head with a soft laugh. It's kind of absurd, having a conversation like this with a squid, but, hey. They're all squids, aren't they? On the inside. ]

Back home, I ended up traveling with this whole group of people, and we would all help each other. I would help them, and, honestly, I didn't think I needed them to help me. I was pretty wrong, and they came after me one time, when I tried to do something by myself. We are stronger together, me and them, you and me. Any of us. We wouldn't have been able to do half the stuff we did if we were all working alone.

[ Maybe he is't getting into the details, but that the gist of it, isn't it? ]

[There's an uncomfortable realization crystallizing in his head as Yuri's words sink in. If he looks at his relationship with the rest of Mondstadt those words apply to him too. Hell, even to Lumine and the group that took Stormterror down.

He just kept assuming things would always come down to him in the end. He holds onto him as he turns that over in his head. Even as a captain he assumed he had to be in front and lead the way. Even working as a team.

Diluc blows bubbles.] We are stronger together. It was obvious in the dream that was the only way through. It's obvious to me now, that will be the way through this. But as you well know, things in practice are harder than saying it.

If we remind each other about it when we start to fall back on old habits...maybe it will become second nature.

Yeah, man. I got your back.

[ And Diluc has his, which is... nice. It's nice, to meet another person so steadfast, so strong in his convictions. Yuri feels like he gets Diluc, at least a bit.

He sits back on his heels ]

Hey, you call me when you're, y'know, un-squided.

[ Because all this opening up is uncomfortable. He needs to go back to appearing aloof. ]

I will. [He considers what to leave it on and just can't help but write.]

Keep on eye on everyone for me. Please.

[He can't keep them safe from in here. But Yuri can watch things and intervene as he sees fit. It's the last bit of open he can do right now.]

[ Yuri gives him a soft smile and a nod. Who is everyone, he wonders? Kaeya, Catra, Flynn? Every Sleeper? Hell, he'll do his best, either way. ]

Yeah, man. I will.

[ He disentangles himself from Diluc's tentacles and raps his knuckles on the edge of the bath once before shifting to his feet. Smokey launches off the towel rod and perches on his shoulder. ]

Hope to see you with legs next time.

[ He waves, and heads out of the bathroom. ]

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(Closed) Dying is easy

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