deercountry | (Closed) Dying is easy

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(Closed) Dying is easy

Who: Diluc, Kaeya, Catra, and Diluc's Cr (if you know Diluc, you're good.)
What: Diluc returns to life and the aftermath
When: October 15 mid-morning to October 18th.
Where: Diluc and Catra's residence in Cellar Door.
Content Warnings: Body horror, cursing, mental health issues, mentions of substance abuse

Visions are a light to those who are lost (closed to Catra and Kaeya)
[Darkness.

Cold darkness where the dwindling air was starting to leave him concerned. Him? Him. That sounds right. His name and whatever he is, eludes him. His memories feel like fragments of something sharp raining down, but unable to come together.

He tries to put it together. Again, he's denied. But pieces of a memory surfaces to give him just enough to realize how he might have...died. Ice. Shouting. Sharp things and the light inside him crushed under an oppressive loneliness too deep to get past.

The air is almost out. Something bursts above him and light pierces his space. He tries to swim away, but the liquid is starting to drain.

The featureless grey surface of Diluc's Vision flickers then bursts into brilliant red light. Motes of fire dance on the air and fade. Diluc Ragnvindr is once again, alive.]

Day 1, Lord of the Bathtub(open)

[After the initial flurry of activity and panic. Diluc is left to drift in a body of water. It isn't the sea, but it will do for now. He's a small red squid swimming back and forth inside the filled tub. He can't put his memories together just yet. He keeps trying and that's tiring.

But he does it anyway. When someone comes into the bathroom he sticks a tentacle out of the water as he drifts closer to the surface. If he's friendly with them he grips the side of the tub and pulls himself up enough to get a glimpse before he sinks back down.]

Day 2, Almost but not quite (open)

[It feels like he's been slowly piecing himself together. There's not enough there to find his way back out of the water. At least, not yet. He can recognize the people that visit and trace letters on their hands with his tentacles. It's progress.

The light from his Vision feels within reach. If he could just remember everything then he could push himself all the way back to himself. To the duties waiting for him.

He jets water at nothing and streaks through the water. By now, small shells and pretty stones glint from the bottom of the tub. Little gifts. Sometimes he drifts over them, brushing past them as he circles.]

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[Kaeya is a little relieved that Diluc doesn't decide to be immediately stubborn. He focuses on his own breathing and not on the now very-man-shaped-and-very-naked Diluc in his arms.

No problem. He's got this. They've got this.]

I think I was the one who said we had to stop meeting this way.

[But he nods.] All right. Hold tight until we're sure you've got your land legs back.

[And with that he moves to stand carefully, guiding Diluc up with him.]

[Diluc snorts as he holds onto Kaeya's back. He can't help but remember Flynn's warning. Oh, well. It's too late now. Getting up is a slow and careful process. His stomach doesn't like the shift in gravity.

But as he moves so he's lifted up enough he can try to step out of the tub his body remembers how to move. He still feels weak. He has to lean a lot of his weight onto Kaeya or risk falling out of the table in a rather undignified fashion.

Once his feet are on the tile he isn't quite sure what to say.] I'll...I'll sit down if you grab the towel.

[Working together they have this. And a towel will remind him a little more of being a person. But he still says,] Don't drain the tub. We have to get the shells and stones out first.

[Kaeya gives what support he can, keeping one arm securely around Diluc as the redhead steps out of the tub.]

I can get you a towel.

[He agrees, leading Diluc over to where he can sit and making sure he's seated and steady before turning to fetch a big, soft towel from the linen closet, coming to hold it out, unfolded to the other man.

And half pretending he's not looking.] I'll fish them out. [The box he brought them in should be nearby still, he thinks.]

[Sitting down feels wonderful. The world feels a little like he's still in the water. He vaguely recognizes the symptoms as he bows his head and breathes.

The sound of Kaeya's boots on the tiles coming closer draw him out of his thoughts. He reaches out to grab the towel and misses. Determined he tries again. This time he manages it. He pulls it over his lap to make himself halfway decent.

He closes his eyes, water running down his long hair as he fights not to sway in his seat.] Thank you. ...I want to keep them.

[There's a moment of surprised in Kaeya at that. Oh. He'd have assumed Diluc not wanting to risk damage to the plumbing but the fact that the other man wants to keep them, given that Kaeya brought many of them over, well, it's a weird surge of warmth. He'll definitely fish them out.

But first, he slips off to the linen closet to fetch another towel. This one he unfolds and drapes around Diluc's shoulders.

With that he sees to placing the shells and stones and the rubber duck into the box, setting it aside on the counter open so it can dry.]

All right. Shall we get you dried off? Then rest or food, whichever you prefer first.

[He dozes for a few minutes until another towel is draped over his shoulders. He should insist on doing all this himself. But he promised he would try to let people help.

And it's easier than he wants to admit to permit Kaeya to help him. It's the least he could do for dying on him. He dozes again.

The sound of Kaeya's voice rouses him again. He jerks his head up then grabs the edge of the counter to keep from falling over.] Yes, then rest.

I don't even want to think about food right now.

All right. Rest it is.

[Food can wait. But first, Kaeya steps over. He realizes he may be overstepping himself here, but at the moment he doesn't care. Diluc is back, and Diluc needs help whether or not he wants to admit it or not.

So Kaeya reaches for the towel he'd draped over the other man and picks it up to start gently toweling off that wet red hair.]

Do you need anything?

[He doesn't know how to answer that. He picks up the towel in his lap and slowly starts drying off his front. Finally, he manages to say,] Help into a shirt then bed.

[His hands feel hard to use, but he does manage to assist in drying himself off. It's one small victory. He takes that as he reaches down inside himself for the burn in his blood.

It slips through his fingers. He doesn't fight it.]

That's already a given.

[Kaeya assures him. Helping Diluc into bed is already on his agenda. He'll leave the other man to rest once he's certain that Diluc is settled and safe and sound for the moment.]

Do you think you're good to stand?

[He sets the second towel down and holds out his hands towards Diluc in an offer of aid and steadiness.]

[Uncertainty flickers across his face. He stares at his hands and slowly places his hands in his. He braces one foot then the other.

When Kaeya helps him up, his legs are unsteady but his brow furrows and he keeps himself upright. The towel falls to the floor as he finally stands his full height. But he doesn't let go of Kaeya's hands.

Words slip out before he can stop them.] I'm sorry I died on you. If I can help it, I won't let it happen again.

[Kaeya keeps a hold of those hands, watching as Diluc steadies himself. All right. He's got it. But that doesn't mean Kaeya is going to let go or move far away. Diluc has just regained this form after days as a squid and after dying prior to that.

He's not expecting what Diluc says though, and he lifts his eyes from Diluc's feet to the other man's face, startled.

The next moment he recovers and manages a laugh, hands tightening around Diluc's.] I'd very much appreciate that, thank you.

[His smile falters only briefly and he glances towards the bathroom door.] I've discovered that I very much prefer the world with you in it, no matter what world it may be.

[He shuts his eyes for a moment. What does he say to that? The door of old memories is a rusty thing that he doesn't often permit to even creak. They've done more talking at this moment than they have since that night.

He squeezes Kaeya's hands in his. He doesn't want to even think of how cold things felt when he sat by the lifeless body of one Kaeya Alberich.] Me too. So stay alive, alright?

[His eyes are a bit too bright and he has to blink back a reaction he hasn't had in a while. Damn returning to a physical human body. It's like relearning to swing a sword.]

I'll do my best.

[That's all Kaeya can manage as an answer, as the rest of his brain power is entirely caught up in trying to grapple with the idea that Diluc actually wants him alive.

That's... unexpected in a way. Of course, he'd never expected the other man to outright attack him again without provocation after that night. But he'd always assumed that his death would make Diluc's life easier in many ways. If he'd even have a reaction to it at all.

His chest aches. There's so much he could say, built up over years of silence and instead he exhales a laugh.]

We've both seen enough time as a squid for a while. Come on then. Your bed is waiting for you.

[This is enough. He doesn't think he can open up again tonight. That's when he realizes they've been standing here holding hands and it's cold. He nods once and takes a careful step towards the door. He almost stumbles.

He catches himself by instinct. From the moment he could walk he was taught to be a warrior. He still breathes a soft puff of relief. Step by step he makes his way to the door then into the hall. He shivers as he recalls his bedroom isn't far.

It's just off the kitchen. That suddenly seems less like a tactical decision and more just the right one. He'd go cut crystals out of his corpse in the morning. With the thought comes the memory of his will being crushed under some other force. A wave of nausea and panic slams into him and he leans into Kaeya as he forces himself to focus on breathing.] Give me a moment.

[He waits until his heart stops trying to escape his chest then nods once and keeps going.]

[And Kaeya sticks close. He's not letting go unless he's made to let go, at least until Diluc is off his feat again.

Then he's suddenly got Diluc leaning into him. Ah.

Kaeya stills, and nods.] Take your time.

[No snark, no banter, Kaeya is fully quiet and serious for once. Diluc sees straight through his antics anyway, so he figures it's fine.

He moves with Diluc once the other is ready again.]

[They make it down the hall to his bedroom door. It's an old instinct to lean on Kaeya as he reaches for the door handle. Getting the door open is a struggle, but he wants to do it himself. He has to be somewhat independent.

His bedroom is the same as it was before his death. His things are laid out precisely. The journal he'd been writing observations in is on the bedside table. Something about that makes him feel more exhausted. He spots the small bits of evidence Kaeya has been here and slowly makes his way towards his bed.

He's so tired. It's like the weight of everything that he was and is is crashing down onto his shoulders. For once he doesn't even want to think about it. It can all wait a little while. As they reach the bed he moves to sit down, but doesn't lose his grip on Kaeya.

He looks up at him and the mask of four years cracks wide open. He looks worn and weary in a way he hadn't been when they were boys. He sighs but he doesn't put distance between them. He doesn't know what to say so he says nothing at all.]

[Kaeya will let Diluc manage the door on his own. Even after the years between them, he knows Diluc well enough to allow the other to handle himself as much as he can right now.

Once Diluc is sitting, he lingers. The redhead hasn't released him yet, and Kaeya doesn't want to be the one to break away. Instead he watches, sees that exhaustion in the other man and it tugs at something in him.

The silence is loud, but Kaeya is in no rush to fill it. He has no idea what to say either.

So instead he acts, stepping in that much closer and pulling Diluc into a hug. Maybe he'll get pushed away for his trouble; it's worth the risk.]

I'm glad you're back.

[And then he does move to straighten up.] Let's find you something to wear.

[Everything stops. He swallows hard.

I'm glad you're back.

In a flash, he recalls how worn Kaeya had looked when he first talked to him at the tub. His eyes close and he sinks into the hug. It's been so long his arms feel like heavy weights as he lifts them, wrapping around Kaeya to pull him a little closer.

The moment stretches until Kaeya straightens and he draws back, nodding.]

The chest at the foot of the bed. I keep my shirts in it.

Edited 2021-10-26 03:01 (UTC)

[Not pushed away, and instead hugged in return. Kaeya doesn't know what to do with that, or with the warmth that spreads through his chest and the ache that follows in its wake a moment later. Kaeya's missed him -- not just in the time he died, his time as a squid. No, this is the sort of missing that's been building for years and years.

It does make it harder to draw away, but Diluc needs clothes.

A quick nod and he goes to look through the trunk, picking out a shirt that looks suitable and soft enough for wearing while Diluc rests. He holds it out to him.]

You've probably had enough water for a lifetime, but I'll get you a glass anyway.

[It's terrible and relieving when the hug ends. This is the closest they have been in years. He tells himself he shouldn't miss the warmth of Kaeya when he steps away. He can't find it in himself to believe his own lie.

It's practically self-defense to doze off for a few minutes. He wakes up again when Kaeya holds the shirt out. He blinks back the sleep and reaches out, taking the shirt. Diluc stares down at it. Black like all of his other shirts.

He starts to carefully undo the buttons. His fingers still don't want to do fine detail work.] ...Thank you.

[Kaeya only hesitates a moment before stepping closer and placing his hands over Diluc's to take over the buttoning.] Here, let me. Your fingers will be more awake after a rest.

[And if he's allowed to, he'll take the shirt and see to unfastening the buttons before holding it up to help Diluc ease into it.

He smiles at the thanks.] I just regret not being able to help before things got as far as they did.

[But given the trick played on them this time, with loneliness and corruption, Kaeya was likely the last person who could have helped with that.]

[He lets Kaeya's nimble fingers take over. It's just more efficient that way. He slips his arms into the sleeves instead of answering. What does he say to that?

The words feel so hollow. He has permitted himself to be so weak to the corruption brought on by loneliness. And something tells him-] I regret not helping you either.

[Those words feel like just enough. A start. He stares down at the scars on his arms and palms. As he adds,] You'll be by in the morning, won't you?

[He can't ask him to stay. But he can ask for a visit.]

[Kaeya focuses on buttoning the shirt and not on the pale skin and defined muscle beneath. Nope. Focus on the task at hand, Kaeya. Be a disaster on your own time. He stands straight once Diluc is sorted.

He smiles, a small flicker of a thing at that. Regrets, well, there are plenty of those to go around it seems.] I made it through.

[But he looks surprised at the words that follow, but his expression softens back into a smile again.] If you want, of course. I'll see you in the morning.

Diluc looks up at him, his red hair falling away from his bright eyes. He needs to get into bed. But not before he says,]

Yes, I do. But make sure to get some sleep too.

[He has seen how Kaeya has looked this whole time. He isn’t the only one to need sleep.]

[Kaeya laughs cheerfully -- the relief in him is obvious. His whole posture seems lighter than it has since all this happened, now that Diluc is back to himself, human-shaped and hopefully on the way to mending.]

Sleep, yes yes. I'll get around to that at some point.

[He will. He's still exhausted, but he may make the round through a tavern or two before he does. He's trying to establish contacts and rapport, after all, and he's ignored that entirely since seeing Diluc's body.

For now though, he steps backwards towards the door, lingering just a moment.] Rest well, Master Diluc.

Edited 2021-10-31 00:11 (UTC)

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searingwing - 2021-10-31 02:47 (UTC) - Expand

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