[ If Allen hadn't spent the year and a half in the Order he had before everything went south, he wouldn't have been able to comprehend it either. Would have bottled everything he felt up tight and put it neatly up on a shelf with everything else that had carved a hole in his heart over the years. Better to reach out and help people insofar as he could offer small and sanitized parts of himself, but not let it be returned in kind, or let them see what else was there. After all, all he had ever known in life was that most people were cruel to someone like him and those who weren't, those who had beautiful souls and were kind, he tainted and destroyed if he let them become close. That's what had happened to Mana, after all. To Allen.
But being welcomed into a place people called their home, where kind and strong people would tell you over and over welcome home and greet you with warmth and affection-- it's a sentiment that always would and always will knock him breathless. Something that even he, over time, could start to believe that maybe, one day, he could find a place to belong. Not there, not the Order even if a part of him would always feel that way... but it opened up that part of him. That maybe, just maybe-- life might be more than just fighting and saving others. That there was still kindness and love, and the chance of one day finding again that fleeting but beautiful feeling: belonging.
The thing he never expected was that maybe, somehow-- he might be able to offer that feeling to someone else.
He blinks slightly at Shouto's choice of words, "anchor", before smiling gently in a way that's a little self-conscious as he also pulls back. Eyes flicking aside briefly before coming back to him, and his chin dips down slightly. Shy. ]
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But being welcomed into a place people called their home, where kind and strong people would tell you over and over welcome home and greet you with warmth and affection-- it's a sentiment that always would and always will knock him breathless. Something that even he, over time, could start to believe that maybe, one day, he could find a place to belong. Not there, not the Order even if a part of him would always feel that way... but it opened up that part of him. That maybe, just maybe-- life might be more than just fighting and saving others. That there was still kindness and love, and the chance of one day finding again that fleeting but beautiful feeling: belonging.
The thing he never expected was that maybe, somehow-- he might be able to offer that feeling to someone else.
He blinks slightly at Shouto's choice of words, "anchor", before smiling gently in a way that's a little self-conscious as he also pulls back. Eyes flicking aside briefly before coming back to him, and his chin dips down slightly. Shy. ]
Mm. [ Of course. Always. ]
Thank you for being mine.