The muffled little sound that escapes him at being pulled close isn't quite a squeak; it isn't that surprised because honestly he shouldn't be surprised. But he'll always be—always be startled and amazed at things like that—because that's how he is, and he sweeps an arm up around Shouto in response, gripping onto him at first in surprise, but... easing then. Jittery and uncertain one moment, slowly unwinding and relaxing against him the next. Is this... what's normal now? He's quiet, letting his hand run hesitantly up Shouto's back like that's a very new sort of thing to him, mapping out the line of his shoulder blade with lightly fanned fingers and just feeling warm skin. Doesn't realize he's been holding his breath as he blinks for a moment, staring at the light mark he'd left on his throat. His other hand curls and he digs his fingers in self-warning into his palm. Because if it is—
If it is, I...
He shakes his head lightly, almost like chiding himself, and bites the inside of his lip when Shouto kisses the top of his scar so he doesn't cry. He leans up into it instead, like being baptized in a bittersweet joy so overwhelming his heart might burst from it. ] Mm.
Goodnight... [ A light brush of fingertips along his jaw encourages him to lean down so Allen can kiss him too, catching his mouth intimately with his own in something warm and sweet. Something that starts to linger a bit too long, before he reluctantly pulls back before it becomes anything heated. He presses a chaste kiss his cheek immediately after, as if in apology... and he snags the corner of the blankets he had fought with earlier and pulls them up around them both. ] ...Shouto.
[ Said so very softly, like he's saying something else instead of what he does, before he tucks back into place. Hooking an ankle lightly around one of Shouto's, he turns his face in to the crook of his neck and just breathes in the faint scent of snowflakes and cinders. Feels his breathing and heart rate slow as his thoughts begin to drift.
It's funny, he wouldn't have thought about it until Shouto asked, but... being asked to show him his past life, this world-- it's nothing Allen is ashamed of, and it's so very dear to him, defined him so thoroughly and utterly when this had still been his world, yet... Being asked to see it, his "world"-- it makes him hesitate. Makes him realize this isn't something most people would want to know, is it? Especially the ugly truths of it he had been grappling with and trying to understand. You want to know the good and the bad, but the bleakness he's come to recognize is so very bleak the moment he had something different to compare that to, even realizing with Viktor that the Order he loved he maybe only loved because he'd known so little that was good...
...so little he actually belonged to anything in this world he had desperately wanted to exist in...
...is that something he should show someone? Truly? Was there really so little in this life he had had that he would ever want to show to someone else? If I could have shown you the Order and everyone there back before that all came crashing down it would be so different, but... He just hugs him a little tighter at that point, something easy to pass off as a subconscious twitch as one falls to sleep, and leaves it for tomorrow.
There's a twinge in his gut, but he's tired and shrugs it off as nothing. ]
1/2
The muffled little sound that escapes him at being pulled close isn't quite a squeak; it isn't that surprised because honestly he shouldn't be surprised. But he'll always be—always be startled and amazed at things like that—because that's how he is, and he sweeps an arm up around Shouto in response, gripping onto him at first in surprise, but... easing then. Jittery and uncertain one moment, slowly unwinding and relaxing against him the next. Is this... what's normal now? He's quiet, letting his hand run hesitantly up Shouto's back like that's a very new sort of thing to him, mapping out the line of his shoulder blade with lightly fanned fingers and just feeling warm skin. Doesn't realize he's been holding his breath as he blinks for a moment, staring at the light mark he'd left on his throat. His other hand curls and he digs his fingers in self-warning into his palm. Because if it is—
If it is, I...
He shakes his head lightly, almost like chiding himself, and bites the inside of his lip when Shouto kisses the top of his scar so he doesn't cry. He leans up into it instead, like being baptized in a bittersweet joy so overwhelming his heart might burst from it. ] Mm.
Goodnight... [ A light brush of fingertips along his jaw encourages him to lean down so Allen can kiss him too, catching his mouth intimately with his own in something warm and sweet. Something that starts to linger a bit too long, before he reluctantly pulls back before it becomes anything heated. He presses a chaste kiss his cheek immediately after, as if in apology... and he snags the corner of the blankets he had fought with earlier and pulls them up around them both. ] ...Shouto.
[ Said so very softly, like he's saying something else instead of what he does, before he tucks back into place. Hooking an ankle lightly around one of Shouto's, he turns his face in to the crook of his neck and just breathes in the faint scent of snowflakes and cinders. Feels his breathing and heart rate slow as his thoughts begin to drift.
It's funny, he wouldn't have thought about it until Shouto asked, but... being asked to show him his past life, this world-- it's nothing Allen is ashamed of, and it's so very dear to him, defined him so thoroughly and utterly when this had still been his world, yet... Being asked to see it, his "world"-- it makes him hesitate. Makes him realize this isn't something most people would want to know, is it? Especially the ugly truths of it he had been grappling with and trying to understand. You want to know the good and the bad, but the bleakness he's come to recognize is so very bleak the moment he had something different to compare that to, even realizing with Viktor that the Order he loved he maybe only loved because he'd known so little that was good...
...so little he actually belonged to anything in this world he had desperately wanted to exist in...
...is that something he should show someone? Truly? Was there really so little in this life he had had that he would ever want to show to someone else? If I could have shown you the Order and everyone there back before that all came crashing down it would be so different, but... He just hugs him a little tighter at that point, something easy to pass off as a subconscious twitch as one falls to sleep, and leaves it for tomorrow.
There's a twinge in his gut, but he's tired and shrugs it off as nothing. ]