[ He says with more confidence than one would expect without knowing the details of their relationship. ]
I know Allen. He might be reckless at times, but he's not suicidal.
[ And that's what it comes down to. He spent a week mourning his death while reconciling with the fact that the person who came back, if he came back, might not be the person he knew. It added another layer to his grief. One he didn't know how to address until he saw him. The surge of joy at seeing him, the utter relief he felt when he realized he still knew him. It was then, at that moment, that he had his answer. His physical form never mattered, it was the soul painted with care with an arrangement of memories that he loved so much.
That was who Allen was to Shouto.
Everything Nea was not. That's why, for the first time since his arrival, his composure begins to crack. The closer Nea draws to him, the more Shouto pulls back. It's not a singular word or moment that turns the tide but a combination of everything he's seen and heard. Why didn't you say anything? The thought that Allen might be hunted by people who consider him a villain makes his stomach turn, but it's the realization that this caricature set before him might actively be trying to kill him that finally sets him off. ]
It doesn't matter who I am.
[ It never did. Not when his family was suffering, not when his-- there's a pause there, a look of confusion under the rising anger. It's gone within a moment. He moves on without an answer because that's not what's important right now - what Allen is to him - what matters is getting him back. ]
Neither does the Order or you.
[ He doesn't care about any of it. Don't you understand that?! He told you from the start what he cared about, and never once did he indicate there were caveats attached to his feelings. In the same way, Allen loves humanity, Shouto loves his family and friends.
Unconditionally. He's ready to fight for any of them, even when they openly hate him. Hurt him. Allen never once questioned his pursuit of wanting to get to know his brother. Despite being killed by Touya, he never asked him to reconsider his heart. Never questioned him. From the start, he understood him in a way few have ever have, more than Shouto would ever understand him, but that's the thing about the heart: it doesn't seek a reason for what it feels; it just does. ]
1/2 | cw: mentions of suicide
[ He says with more confidence than one would expect without knowing the details of their relationship. ]
I know Allen. He might be reckless at times, but he's not suicidal.
[ And that's what it comes down to. He spent a week mourning his death while reconciling with the fact that the person who came back, if he came back, might not be the person he knew. It added another layer to his grief. One he didn't know how to address until he saw him. The surge of joy at seeing him, the utter relief he felt when he realized he still knew him. It was then, at that moment, that he had his answer. His physical form never mattered, it was the soul painted with care with an arrangement of memories that he loved so much.
That was who Allen was to Shouto.
Everything Nea was not. That's why, for the first time since his arrival, his composure begins to crack. The closer Nea draws to him, the more Shouto pulls back. It's not a singular word or moment that turns the tide but a combination of everything he's seen and heard. Why didn't you say anything? The thought that Allen might be hunted by people who consider him a villain makes his stomach turn, but it's the realization that this caricature set before him might actively be trying to kill him that finally sets him off. ]
It doesn't matter who I am.
[ It never did. Not when his family was suffering, not when his-- there's a pause there, a look of confusion under the rising anger. It's gone within a moment. He moves on without an answer because that's not what's important right now - what Allen is to him - what matters is getting him back. ]
Neither does the Order or you.
[ He doesn't care about any of it. Don't you understand that?! He told you from the start what he cared about, and never once did he indicate there were caveats attached to his feelings. In the same way, Allen loves humanity, Shouto loves his family and friends.
Unconditionally. He's ready to fight for any of them, even when they openly hate him. Hurt him. Allen never once questioned his pursuit of wanting to get to know his brother. Despite being killed by Touya, he never asked him to reconsider his heart. Never questioned him. From the start, he understood him in a way few have ever have, more than Shouto would ever understand him, but that's the thing about the heart: it doesn't seek a reason for what it feels; it just does. ]