Anna took a second to think about that. To really consider everything that she'd lost up to this point. Sure, she had gained things too; she had someone who treated her better than Rose ever had, than Rose ever knew how to. But that didn't mean she was free from the fucked up dreams where she was still with Rose and she could still see her ex smiling and happy. It didn't mean she was free of imagining the times she could've been spending with Lillian or Freya or anyone else. It was selfish to want them all back in her life when they had... well, when most of them had lives all their own.

She realized, too late, that she had been going too long without saying something. Hopefully the look on her face, with her eye closed, read as pensive rather than exhausted. "I know," she said at last. "I know it feels selfish. Maybe it is selfish. But when you work so hard to fix something and then it all breaks for reasons you can't control... you're always going to feel selfish wanting it back. And it sucks. It's just another reason all of this sucks, 'cause nobody did anything to take it away from you." She stroked her friend's hair again, like it was going to help.

"I still haven't found a way to make it hurt any less."