poorlittlesange: (i'm a music & pre-med double-major)
金光瑶 | 𝕛𝕚𝕟 𝕘𝕦𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕪𝕒𝕠 ([personal profile] poorlittlesange) wrote in [community profile] deercountry2022-11-04 11:40 am

it's hard to be charming and smart and disarming | november catch-all

Who: Jin Guangyao + select closed prompts + additional starters to come
What: After a near-miss with qi deviation, Jin Guangyao makes an effort to just, you know. Take it easy. This is easier said than done, because this is Trench, not a spa resort. (Also his blood is glowing through his skin occasionally, which is not ideal, and he is learning all about zealots.)
When: Throughout the first half of November.
Where: His home in the Willful Machine + The Sanctuary in Crenshaw + other locations as specified.
Notes: If you're keen on threading something, hit me up on plurk @ ragweed and we can figure something out.

Content Warnings: None currently but will update as needed.



I. Convalescence at Home (Open to existing CR)
[ooc: set during the week and a half of November.]



Jin Guangyao does not manage idleness well. Which is a shame, because idleness is what he has in abundance for the first two weeks of November.

He spends his time on mandatory bedrest for the first few days as his golden core gradually repairs the damage he inflicted upon it during his and Nie Huaisang's brush with death, able to do little more than occasionally sit up in bed and eat whatever food his friends are able to prepare after scrounging around in his cupboards. (More often than not, they simply order something for delivery, which saves everyone a lot of trouble.) But once he survives the most precarious stage of his recovery, it is good for him to get out of bed, to stretch his legs and move about his home. 'Light physical activity,' is what a doctor might prescribe, and so that is what he does, predominately in the form of some light housework, guqin practice in the courtyard, and meditative tai chi.

By the time this two-week period of homebound convalescence is up, he is chomping at the metaphorical bit to leave the house and do something useful. But he can't, and he's pretty cheesed about it.


II. The Sanctuary (Closed to Palamedes)
[ooc: set towards the end of the second week of November, after he is no longer homebound and a bit pissy about it.]



His first destination upon finally being granted a bit more freedom of movement is the Sanctuary in Crenshaw.

It is impossible not to be drawn towards the tall sakura tree at the centre of the courtyard, and so Jin Guangyao does not even try. The energy that suffuses the place is indisputably positive and balanced, and he can already feel the effects of it soothing the ragged edges of his meridians, which still feel like recovering burn wounds, if burn wounds happened to your qi. (Just little cultivation problems.)

He is hardly the only person hoping to derive some spiritual relief from the tree today, but there is space near one of the roots for him to comfortably fold himself into a lotus position, and to meditate. So that is precisely what he does.
baiyueguang: (Conceal don't feel)

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-06 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Yes. The night-hunt. Nothing more.

Lan Xichen's cheeks and ears certainly haven't taken on a faint tinge of blue.

"Yes. When A-Yao has recovered, we will speak on it more."

There is a pointed smile at this. He knows Jin Guangyao is restless. Lan Xichen knows he'd rather walk around on two broken legs than be laid up for even a few hours, but a qi deviation like this is serious. He could lose even more than his limbs if he doesn't take it seriously.

When Jin Guangyao begins to pack up, Lan Xichen's expression flickers with disappointment.

"Is A-Yao finished? Or would he perhaps like it if this one played for him a bit...?"
baiyueguang: (actual disney princess)

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-06 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
Lan Xichen exchanges seats with Jin Guangyao with a small nod of his head. There's a faint rustle of silk as he adjusts his sleeves in a swift and graceful gesture before plucking a few scales. As expected, Jin Guangyao kept his guqin in impeccable condition, and a small, satisfied smile passes across his lips.

The melody begins simple enough; Jin Guangyao may even recognize it as a variant of a whimsical tune played around inns and restaurants -- something Lan Xichen must have heard and enjoyed when he stepped down from the Cloud Recesses on some investigation or another. It was far from the usual tranquil fare he often played, even when he wasn't. The tempo was almost upbeat, and though simple, he added his own complex bridges between sections of the composition to keep it lively.

It's certainly a meandering song, like a babbling brook carrying autumn leaves on some grand chase, twisting and turning in an playful dance among the swirls and rapids of its current. There are even errors when he plays, though his reflexes and instincts are good enough to incorporate them into the tune, and the tempo of it means his hands do not carry the same slow grace, but the staccato fluttering of a flock of sparrows.

He isn't playing for anything associated with cultivation, but rather for the sheer joy of entertaining a dear friend, to encourage him as he recovered from sickness and bolster his morale.

Unlike Jin Guangyao, Lan Xichen remembers the last time he played for him. Nearly six months now, and it was their last truly peaceful moment together before...

...before.

He cherishes the memory, and from time to time he pulls it out and polishes it of so it doesn't fade. How they sat in companionable silence as the last notes faded (the last song, even then, so elegant yet so very restrained), how they had walked the gardens of Jinlintai, speaking quietly, and the warm setting sun bathing Jin Guangyao in vibrant gold as they bid farewell.

This song eventually ends too, on three bright notes like the drop of shooting stars, and Lan Xichen emerges from something like a daze, staring down at his hands in disbelief, as if he wasn't sure he'd been the one to play so audaciously.
baiyueguang: (All three braincells are firing)

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-06 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Faint hints of blue colour his cheeks and the tips of his ears and fingers, and even through the silk of his sleeves his arm feels unusually cool while his pulse is racing.

"I ...am. I'm not sure what came over me just now."

He stares down at the guqin, as though it could possibly offer any explanation for his sudden (and, by his standard, downright brazen) impulse.

"I had wanted to play you something light and happy, but the one I had in mind was far more ...restrained. My apologies."
Edited 2022-11-06 18:54 (UTC)
baiyueguang: (brother pls)

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-06 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Everything feels normal save for the unusually low temperature of his body, but Lan Xichen actually understands why now, as opposed to just the base assumption that he is either dead or dreaming.

(And if his pulse quickens a bit under Jin Guangyao's fingertips, that's nothing new.)

"Shen-gongzi has mentioned that our blood here is... different, and that it is tied to the moon."

He expels a bit of spiritual energy to demonstrate, frost forming along his fingertips as they return to their usual pale colour.

"I can do this now. And it is why A-Yao was glowing before, yes?"
baiyueguang: (Conceal don't feel)

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-07 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
"It is the moonlight that gives A-Yao his glow...?"

Something like a pleased smile flickers at the corners of his mouth as a faint blue colours the tips of his ears. He schools his face into polite neutrality, pretending he does not already miss Jin Guangyao's hand on his wrist.

"...I have wondered, yes. But if that is the case, then there is the possibility that I am not myself."

His eyes dart down to the palms of his hands which he folds into his sleeves.

"If there is no evidence yet for such a turn of events, then I do not think it's a hypothesis worth pursuing."
baiyueguang: (:))

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-07 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
Lan Xichen's smile is concealed behind a sleeve as Jin Guangyao lights up literally. Hey, he's the one who called him his pure white moonlight; Xichen is escalating the steps of their little dance.

(How many of those do they have anyway?)

"It suits Lianfang-zun well," he remarks offhandedly, eyes gleaming with a warm mirth despite his chilly blood. "Though may be troublesome if trying to remain inconspicuous."
baiyueguang: (Conceal don't feel)

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-07 05:22 am (UTC)(link)
There is a protest on the tip of his tongue. Your sister is dead, Jin Guangyao.

He swallows it.

It hasn't happened for him yet. Qin Su is still alive, still oblivious to ...everything.

He'll not break Jin Guangyao's heart.

"I know. My apologies for overstepping - I did not have any expectations beyond--"

Beyond our usual banter. It stings that for a moment there was that warm, bright familiarity, where they could speak without acknowledging the thing between them, because it was never something either of them could dare to reach for.

(But it was there. It is there. He suspects it always will be.)

"...I did not have any expectations. I know well what can and cannot be."
baiyueguang: (got my thinkin ribbon on)

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-07 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
His throat and jaw are tight, but his eyes are dry. Lan Xichen has long mourned the possibility of them ever being able to change the nature of their relationship. Jin Guangyao isn't saying anything he hasn't told himself a thousand times.

(Except that there once may have been a possibility and Lan Xichen wants to scream before throwing that on the pile of regrets, but he can't. He can't.)

He pushes it down, that awful hope that manages to drag itself out of some part of him every once in a while, and he wonders why, even after all this time, he still doesn't know any better.

"I have never thought you indifferent," he protests, a thin crack splitting his voice. He doesn't shake Jin Guangyao's hand on his arm off, but he doesn't dare reach for it in turn, because if he does he won't be able to let go.

Please, some part of him begs. I already had to let go once.

"And A-Yao has never been lowly in this one's eyes. He has always thought of him in the highest possible regard."

He manages a tight, thin smile, because the ache of putting this to words, putting it to rest is like putting down some pained and starving creature; some cruel and terrible mercy, but the only one available to them.

"As I said, I know what can and cannot be. This has always been enough."

His eyes fall to the hand on his arm, where he can feel the warmth of Jin Guangyao through his silks. He wishes he was warm too.

"Perhaps in another life, things will be simpler for us."
baiyueguang: (8O)

cw: ptsd flashback, severed hand mention

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-07 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
He shakes his head.

"You don't need to--"

Lan Xichen's words die in his throat as Jin Guangyao brushes his thumb over his knuckles, an echo of something before, a last fond farewell trying to say what no words couldn't, the blood still hot and slick on his hands even after...

He looks up and it's Jin Guangyao looking at him in his familiar shades of gold, stained red from his missing hand, from the wound his belly, from the blood streaming out the corner of his mouth, his expression agony as a grey hand reaches to close its fingers around his throat, and his own arm is let go so he can be pushed out of harm's way --

Xichen is staring at Jin Guangyao, but not seeing him (not seeing the reality, at any rate), his face white as a sheet, eyes stricken, and breathing panicked. He makes a move as if to grab Jin Guangyao's arm, to pull him back to safety and --

He blinks, gradually coming back to himself. He is not in Guanyin Temple, this is not Jin Guangyao's death, so why does it feel like the world is ending...?

Oh. Right.

His fingers close around empty air and he quickly pulls his hand back to his side. He has no business reaching for Jin Guangyao. Not now, not ever.

"You do not need to say such things to me," he breathes, heart still racing. "I am the one who owes the apology."
Edited 2022-11-07 21:18 (UTC)
baiyueguang: (Out damn spot!)

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-08 10:47 pm (UTC)(link)
It was real though. Perhaps not in that moment, but...

It was real and he hated himself for it.

Lan Xichen hasn't checked the network recently, he isn't quite sure what just happened (though he's experienced something similar with regards to the razing of the Cloud Recesses, it was never so vivid).

He's still staring at his clenched hand, devoid of blood, then looks to Jin Guangyao to ensure that yes, yes this is reality. He's alive.

"I'm sorry, I saw you--"

He can't finish. I saw your death.

But there is something else now, and his gaze moves past Jin Guangyao's shoulder to the door where he spots a girl peering into the courtyard. Without hesitation, he gets to his feet and pulls a talisman from his robe, flinging it in her direction, but she's already gone. Run off, vanished, her faint laughter fading on the breeze. He stands stock still, staring intently at where she stood only a moment ago.

"...Did you see her...?" he asks, almost a whisper.
baiyueguang: (i gotchu babygirl)

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-09 06:35 am (UTC)(link)
He won't patronize Jin Guangyao and tell him to go hide rather than defend himself in his own home, but his friend is still recovering from a qi deviation.

Normally, they would fight side by side or back to back, but right now, Lan Xichen plants himself firmly between Jin Guangyao and where he had seen the strange girl. He knows his friends talismans - nobody that wasn't thoroughly welcome would have a time getting through that door, and yet that child had slipped in so casually...

Of course it was no ordinary child, but it remained to be seen just what it was and what it intended.

He inclines his head toward outside the walls surrounding the courtyard; he can still hear her faint giggles circling the perimeter. Perhaps she could breach the door but go no further.

Jin Guangyao had been thorough.

"Stay close," he says, approaching the open gate.
baiyueguang: (Conceal don't feel)

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-09 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
He shakes his head.

"Only her laughter. Did you--"

Lan Xichen turns his head to look at Jin Guangyao from over his shoulder, and his jaw clicks shut. Only once has he seen him look so utterly petrified and that was when he found the fierce corpse of Nie Mingjue break in to the temple grounds.

He's facing Jin Guangyao fully now, both his hands on his shoulders to steady him, their earlier conversation forgotten in the presence of his obvious distress.

"A-Yao," he says gently. "He isn't here. Whatever you heard, whatever you saw is an illusion."
baiyueguang: (woops)

[personal profile] baiyueguang 2022-11-09 10:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Jin Guangyao is panicking which... isn't good. They need to keep their heads on straight (ha!) if they hope to get through this, and they're already being affected. Whatever is doing this is going right for the jugular and when he sees the terror etched deep into the lines of Jin Guangyao's face he feels...

...angry.

His grip on his shoulders tightens, his jaw set.

"A-Yao," he says, gentle but determined as the ceaseless current of a river. "I will not let that happen. I--"

Grey fingers come into view, reaching from Jin Guangyao's throat, and Lan Xichen yanks him away in a leap backwards onto the wall around the courtyard, his arms around him in a protective embrace as he searches for any sign of Nie Mingjue's fierce corpse.

Another illusion.

"We cannot trust our eyes or our ears," he explains. "And we need to calm down. Whatever is doing this is using our fears to unsettle us."

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