deercountry | (no subject)

[That's a good take on things.] Yeah... I want to imagine it's possible to become a better person, even if you've done terrible things. [Because he thinks of himself as an awful person but you know.

Sunny finds himself looking down again, but whether it's because he senses something or because he's simply aware of the fact that black space is down there, it isn't clear. Maybe it's because he can tell Mob definitely has more issues with that horrible world than he was letting on. Who wouldn't?]

Hm, how it hurt you? Venting. [He glances back up again.]

Was it a bad memory?

[sunny you are going to get suplexed with affection and admiration one of these days, mr 'bad person.' regardless mob nods.] I've seen a lot of really bad people change. It's possible. It always is.

[he didn't want to exist in a world where it wasn't.

venting, huh? he tilts his head, eyes straying to the lightbulb again. what an odd place this was.] I'm not sure how that would help. Wouldn't it just be stewing on bad things? [okay mr repression.]

Hm... in some ways. It ended well, but it was really stressful and scary for sensei at that time. Someone wanted to fight that he didn't want to fight. [daniel is such a mood, tbh] He was the only one who could do anything. It's... he's really reliable, and handled it, but I wish he didn't have to.

[It always was, huh? Mob seemed to believe it, so Sunny would try to, too. People could change. Sunny could change.]

No, I don't think so. The things are still there, even if you try to ignore them. [He rubs his thumb against the fabric of the rug.] They'll keep getting louder. [Until you couldn't ignore them anymore, and that was when things got really bad.]

I wish he didn't have to, either. Sometimes things don't work out like that, though. [He lays down, staring up at the lightbulb. This was too familiar.] I'm glad it turned out alright for him.

[mob says nothing for a beat before he shifts to lie down a little bit away from sunny, side by side. watching the lightbulb, embracing the quiet.]

Is that why you have a quiet place like this? [for things that get louder. that- he couldn't deny things eventually got too loud. but his emotions weren't normal. when they came out bad things could happen. bad things did happen. strange things. people wouldn't want to be around him, like that world.

sunny wanted to be around him there. that didn't mean he'd want to otherwise, but it does stick a little.]

That's a bit like what he said. He said it was okay to be scared when those things happened and that people here would come if you called when you were scared. [reciting, then a pause.] Sensei's a really good guy, isn't he?

Yes. [Though he was determined not to fall back into old habits. Maybe it was okay this one time, since it got them out of that horrible world.] Those Things rarely get all the way up here. [Rarely, but not never.

He turns his head to look at Mob.]

He is. I like him. [He pauses.] Everyone here seems so willing to help each other.

But they do get up here. [relatable, in a weird way. all of this, really.] There are some things you can't change, I guess.

[he doesn't sound happy about that, though the tone is very faint. if only there were things that could just... go away. gone, forever. they weren't needed.]

The spirit that trapped me, Mogami- [a beat there, looks like he's willing to talk about it a little, after a moment's hesitance.] -he wanted me to think the world was cruel and people will always use you. This place is so dangerous but people still try to help. I wish he had been lucky enough to see that side of people.

They do. [Staring upward silently for a long moment, thinking of what to say in response to that- talk about his own experience- when Mob continues. He turns his head to face him.]

Maybe he has seen it, but he couldn't bring himself to believe in it. [A pause.] The world can seem really dark sometimes. It isn't all bad, but it can be hard to convince yourself of that sometimes.

I guess so. People say it's easy to get pulled into things like that. Hating people, being angry.

Maybe they get tired of trying. But then they just become the reason other people get tired of trying. [a slow blink to the ceiling.] I hope I never get tired of trying.

[who could stop him if he did?]

You're right. When you stop trying it only hurts everyone else. [When he made a recluse of himself for four years, it had only made everyone's else situation worse. Including his own.]

I stopped trying for a long time. [Staring up thoughtfully.] But you can always start trying again.

Why did you start trying again? [a glance over.]

I'm glad you did. It's nice having you as a roommate.

My friend Kel knocked on my door. He found out I was going to move away soon. [The faintest hint of a smile appears on his face.]

I left the house to see him. So... it was him. The rest of my friends, too, after I reconnected with them. But none of it would have happened without Kel reaching out. [He was a very good lad that didn't give himself enough credit.]

[ah, support networks. mob's lips quirk very faintly.] They sound like good friends.

I hope I can meet them one day. Kel. [aubrey when she's not horrible mogami mode.] It must have been hard though, for you.

They are. [He missed them.]

I hope so too. They'd like you. [They would fucking love Mob, actually.] ...It was. But it was worth doing. Things got better.