Sharon's regret is instantaneous and she mentally berates herself for bringing Charlotte up. She can feel how his breathing changes; see the twist of sorrow in his expression as if he's been struck with a pain so deep it may be unbearable. Loss. A broken heart. She should have known.
Her eyes close for a single breath, in part to wipe clean the grief she saw in his expression. She is so often thoughtless with her words, reckless with hope, forgetful that others have wounds that hope cannot stitch shut no matter how much she wants to will it. One day, maybe, she will remember that hope isn't always a kindness.
Charlotte wanted him to move on and Sharon finds herself jealous of this stranger woman's love for Mayerling. Her willingness to allow him to move on, recognizing that, even after her, he would continue to live and he deserved joy after her. Would Sharon be able to be so thoughtful? No, she thinks, I am too selfish for that. Her love, she fears, would be a curse. As it has always been.
But then... Oh. Her heart skips a beat at his statement, at you are someone I can't imagine living without, looking up at him with confusion pinching her expression. Suddenly, her thoughts are racing. There are things she wants to ask him. Why? How? Me? Like he must have misspoken. But she doesn't. Instead, she focuses on something else he's said.
"How about I take you on a date?" the words fall out of her mouth before her brain catches up with them and then she sputters a little. Ums, ohs, uhs as if realizing very quickly the implication of her question. Of saying something like this, something thoughtless again, after he spoke of Charlotte, "Like friends. A-A friend-date?"
Next, everything that comes out of her mouth is quick, each word flowing into the next as if she were trying to fill space, "Show you some of the best places to go at night, places I didn't take Johan to. Maybe introduce you to karaoke. Do you like to drink? There's a bar I like to visit and they have pretty good wine. I know D likes wine and so does Alucard and it's not that I think everyone that's a vampire likes wine but you kind of seem like you might be a wine guy."
no subject
Her eyes close for a single breath, in part to wipe clean the grief she saw in his expression. She is so often thoughtless with her words, reckless with hope, forgetful that others have wounds that hope cannot stitch shut no matter how much she wants to will it. One day, maybe, she will remember that hope isn't always a kindness.
Charlotte wanted him to move on and Sharon finds herself jealous of this stranger woman's love for Mayerling. Her willingness to allow him to move on, recognizing that, even after her, he would continue to live and he deserved joy after her. Would Sharon be able to be so thoughtful? No, she thinks, I am too selfish for that. Her love, she fears, would be a curse. As it has always been.
But then... Oh. Her heart skips a beat at his statement, at you are someone I can't imagine living without, looking up at him with confusion pinching her expression. Suddenly, her thoughts are racing. There are things she wants to ask him. Why? How? Me? Like he must have misspoken. But she doesn't. Instead, she focuses on something else he's said.
"How about I take you on a date?" the words fall out of her mouth before her brain catches up with them and then she sputters a little. Ums, ohs, uhs as if realizing very quickly the implication of her question. Of saying something like this, something thoughtless again, after he spoke of Charlotte, "Like friends. A-A friend-date?"
Next, everything that comes out of her mouth is quick, each word flowing into the next as if she were trying to fill space, "Show you some of the best places to go at night, places I didn't take Johan to. Maybe introduce you to karaoke. Do you like to drink? There's a bar I like to visit and they have pretty good wine. I know D likes wine and so does Alucard and it's not that I think everyone that's a vampire likes wine but you kind of seem like you might be a wine guy."
Shit.
Shut up, Sharon.