Luz listened quietly and understood. Yes. Lexi's point of view wasn't going to be sympathetic, not when you were giving yourself to try and help and it never seemed to go anywhere. But at the same time, Luz also had a hint of what Rue might be like.
"She's not well, and the actions of somebody like that is not going to be caring about the people who are helping. Even trying to understand what she's doing will be impossible. It's probably all impulses."
And did Luz agree with them? Not at all. And the reason why would manifest easily.
Lexi still had legitimate things to contend with, it just wasn't as loud as Rue's or, apparently, as aesthetically pleasing as :exi's sister somehow. It was just OK to leave Lexi's problems on her own to deal with. That was the thing Luz hated, that it was just ok to have Lexi be grown up and strong and try to smile despite everything.
Luz looked at Lexi and sighed. "Yes. It is that. I've seen people have to deal with horrible memories, some from Deerington, some from their own world. I didn't know it, but over time, I realized how hard it was to try and make a life for yourself with people you hope understood you. That was why I wanted to stay in Trench, to be with those people, to love and protect them like they did for me."
She swallowed, then laughed. "Are you kidding me? Even then, I wanted to know more about you! What sort of books you liked. What music you listened to. What made you laugh? Maybe you didn't mean to, but you had my attention, and I had to talk to you again."
Luz shook her head. "No, I mean that kid from the Twilight Zone, the one that wished his enemies into the cornfield! Good guess though!"
Luz shook her head. "Then I messed up saying what you mean. I'm not always great at...saying how I feel to someone that surprises me all the time, who makes me happy every time I see her. I don't think words work for me like I want them to."
But here, Luz seized Lexi's hands and looked into her eyes. Luz's gaze seemed to penetrate here, but not in an angry way. Luz just stared at her girlfriend with a mixture of devotion and regret.
"I won't....I CAN'T do that to you. I wouldn't. You're better than Rue deserved. If there's one thing I'm happy about, it's that I saw you when she didn't. Now she'll have to manage without having you to help her, and that's sad for her."
She swallowed, licking her lips. "But not for me."
Luz was blushing wildly, hardly believing what she was saying, yet not feeling sorry for an instant at what she was saying.
"I will never understand why religion cares about the food we eat."
That was just it. Food was food! Would she follow exclusion of some things for Lexi? Absolutely! But ask her why it was excluded and Luz would just shrug.
Luz grimaced. "I don't know. I think that's something you need to practice so you don't. I told you that I'd be your guinea pig for that."
Luz made a face. "What, 'sweetie?' Because you are one. Do you hate it? I can come up with something different!"
When it comes to you, of course!
"She's not well, and the actions of somebody like that is not going to be caring about the people who are helping. Even trying to understand what she's doing will be impossible. It's probably all impulses."
And did Luz agree with them? Not at all. And the reason why would manifest easily.
Lexi still had legitimate things to contend with, it just wasn't as loud as Rue's or, apparently, as aesthetically pleasing as :exi's sister somehow. It was just OK to leave Lexi's problems on her own to deal with. That was the thing Luz hated, that it was just ok to have Lexi be grown up and strong and try to smile despite everything.
Luz looked at Lexi and sighed. "Yes. It is that. I've seen people have to deal with horrible memories, some from Deerington, some from their own world. I didn't know it, but over time, I realized how hard it was to try and make a life for yourself with people you hope understood you. That was why I wanted to stay in Trench, to be with those people, to love and protect them like they did for me."
She swallowed, then laughed. "Are you kidding me? Even then, I wanted to know more about you! What sort of books you liked. What music you listened to. What made you laugh? Maybe you didn't mean to, but you had my attention, and I had to talk to you again."
Luz shook her head. "No, I mean that kid from the Twilight Zone, the one that wished his enemies into the cornfield! Good guess though!"
Luz shook her head. "Then I messed up saying what you mean. I'm not always great at...saying how I feel to someone that surprises me all the time, who makes me happy every time I see her. I don't think words work for me like I want them to."
But here, Luz seized Lexi's hands and looked into her eyes. Luz's gaze seemed to penetrate here, but not in an angry way. Luz just stared at her girlfriend with a mixture of devotion and regret.
"I won't....I CAN'T do that to you. I wouldn't. You're better than Rue deserved. If there's one thing I'm happy about, it's that I saw you when she didn't. Now she'll have to manage without having you to help her, and that's sad for her."
She swallowed, licking her lips. "But not for me."
Luz was blushing wildly, hardly believing what she was saying, yet not feeling sorry for an instant at what she was saying.
"I will never understand why religion cares about the food we eat."
That was just it. Food was food! Would she follow exclusion of some things for Lexi? Absolutely! But ask her why it was excluded and Luz would just shrug.
Luz grimaced. "I don't know. I think that's something you need to practice so you don't. I told you that I'd be your guinea pig for that."
Luz made a face. "What, 'sweetie?' Because you are one. Do you hate it? I can come up with something different!"
It was only fair, right?
"Well. Now I'm just curious."