i’m not a real person either. it’s possible i never was

[lstr]

Who: Elster, Ariane Yeong, one Very Normal Crashed Spaceship, and YOU
What: Exploring a wreck that came through the portals.
When: April
Where: The wreckage of the Penrose-512, on Trench's coast

Content Warnings: Signalis spoilers, death, etc. More specific content warnings in the individual toplevels.


[ Far away from the boardwalk, and away from the lighthouse, a ship has crashed against Trench's rocky coastline.

The ship is meant for flying through space, not sailing on water, although it looks like it's not going to do either of those things anytime soon. Its nose is buried in the sand, and a good chunk of its hull has already rusted over. Most of the paint identifying the ship has peeled away, but one signifier remains: PENROSE-512.

Climbing up the side of the ship will reveal an emergency exit hatch, and lucky for you, comrade, someone has already pried it open, revealing a hole that will allow you to enter into the ship proper. Crawl down the hole?

If you do so, you'll drop down onto the Penrose's upper decks. There’s not much in the way of light here, aside from a distant flashing red of a distress signal, and a murky, almost greenish color of lightbulbs on their last legs. The writing found scattered around the ship—whether the vessel’s signage or various notes and documentation—is in a mix of German and Chinese characters, but Trench being Trench, a translation is offered as necessary. Tied-up garbage bags line the walls, and on top of a crate, you can find your first note: ]

Penrose Briefing: Phase II
By our calculations, 1500 cycles of mission time will have passed when you receive this message. Congratulations, Comrade! By now, you should have become fully acclimatized to your new life onboard your ship. As you approach the Oort Cloud, your search for new worlds will begin. Remember to rely on your Replika to assist you in maintaining your vessel. We all wish you great success in your mission.

From here, you can examine the med bay, the reactor, the mess hall, and the personnel quarters. If you choose to climb down the central ladder to the lower decks, you'll be able to access the calibration pod and observation deck.

There's one door, located due north on the upper level. If you try to open it without examining all the other upper-floor rooms first, an error message will appear: It's locked. It requires a key. If, however, you've seen the rest of the ship, congratulations! You have been cleared to enter cryogenics.

One more handwritten note sits atop a box by the sealed door:

For there be divers sorts of death—some wherein the body remaineth; and in some it vanisheth quite away with the spirit.

In one kind of death the spirit also dieth, and this it hath been known to do while yet the body was in vigour for many years. Sometimes, as is veritably attested, it dieth with the body, but after a season is raised up again in that place where the body did decay ]

[ OOC: Feel free to thread out your character exploring any of the rooms by commenting under the corresponding top level. Extra exploration might lead to extra secrets, so don’t be afraid to poke around!

Floral and I will both be responding to exploration tags.]

Comments

lower decks: calibration and observation

[lstr]

[ the first thing immediately visible upon reaching the lower decks is a set of doors, one to your left and one to your right. These are the doors to the cargo hold, which bear this warning:
Cargo hold unpressurized - Do not enter during flight

Opting to continue due north will bring you to the observation deck. Here, two plush, comfortable chairs are arranged beside a single hexagonal viewing window. Since the ship has crashed on the beach, the window looks out towards the sea. On one of the walls of this room, you can see a propaganda poster for Operation Penrose, which shows an artist’s impression of the vessel in its prime. Papers sit on the table in the center of the room—one or two are silly doodles on note paper, while others are smudged handwritten notes. Several seem to follow a single theme.

along the shore the cloud waves break,
the twin suns sink behind the lake,
the shadows lengthen

strange is the night where black stars rise,
and strange moons circle through the skies
but stranger still

song of my soul, my voice is dead;
die thou, unsung, as tears unshed
shall dry and die

it calls me
in a sea of flesh
we will become one
but i can never go back
to being me

A pamphlet also sits on the table.

Penrose-Type Vessel Field Operations Manual
Penrose-type vessels of the Eusan People's Navy are low-cost space exploration vessels deployed beyond the solar system's edge in the search for planets and moons fit for habitation or rich in natural resources to support the continuous growth of our great Nation.
All Penrose vessels are piloted by a Gestalt Scout Officer supported by a Land Survey/Ship Technician Replika (LSTR). This "partner system" of Gestalt-Replika co-operation has proved successful in countless previous scout operations. Mutual control and support allow both the Gestalt officer and the technician Replika to perform at their optimal capacity.
Once the Vessel is catapulted towards the edge of the solar system by an Orbital Mass Driver, the pilot may adjust the course from the flight deck, while the Replika will take care of mechanical maintenance of the vessel.

Opting to head south instead of north will take you to a room containing a single, mechanical pod. The pod appears large enough to hold a single person, and if you inspect it closely, the machine reads calibration.

In this room, characters can find the following notes:

Chronometer Adjustment
Technical Service Record, Scout Officer Yeong Ariane
Officer's Note: I've adjusted the ship's internal clock to run slightly slower. By my calculations, each cycle should be exactly 12.6% longer, simulating what I believe is the length of a "day" on Vineta.
I wonder if Elster will notice the difference.
Judging from her accent, I'm sure that she's Vinetan. She pronounces "Ship" just like Isa and Eri used to. It's very cute. Hearing her speak makes me dream of the ocean... I wonder if I'll ever get to visit something like it. Maybe on a distant world?

Ariane’s Notes
Running out of ochre paint. Elster laughed when I told her! Now I have to mix it myself - so annoying.
I still haven't read a whole bunch of those manuals... I feel like they gave me enough to read for the rest of my life.
Most of them are boring technical manuals, anyway.
They could have given us more films to watch instead. Half of them are war films, which Elster doesn't like, and the other half are kitschy propaganda dramas. ]

med bay and reactor; cw: terminal illness (cancer), reference to cannibalism, suicide recommendation

[lstr]

[ The med bay is set up more like an artist’s studio than an actual hospital room. Paintings, both propped up on easels and against the wall, are scattered throughout, all in various stages of completion. Whoever was working on these didn’t get to finish them, and if you look closely at each in turn, you might notice that the technical skill seems to diminish with each one, as if whoever was painting was having a harder and harder time carrying it out.

There’s a single examination table in the center of the room, and surrounding it is an IV drip and other supplies that might actually be useful in the practice of emergency field medicine. Old bloodstains cover the table, and any metal implement has long since rusted over. Whoever was treated here wasn’t doing well, and hasn’t been here in a long time.

In this room, characters can find the following diary entries and notes:

Penrose emergency procedures appendix H
Based on data from previous long-range survey missions, salvaging the Replika Technician for sustenance is not recommended, even in extreme circumstances.
Replika biocomponents can cause various health problems when ingested. It may look and taste like ordinary flesh, but bioengineered tissue may cause more harm than good when eaten in an emergency situation. Oxidant may look like blood, but is indigestible to Gestalts.
It should also be considered that Pioneer Replikas statistically have a 860% greater survivability than Gestalt Pioneer Officers. For the sake of a successful mission, keeping the Replika operational rather than prolonging your own suffering may be preferable.


Cycle 648
Talked some more to the Elster unit.
She's different from the Replikas I knew back home, nothing like my teachers or the Blockwart Protektor. I know she didn't have a choice, but it feels like she's also here because she didn't fit in. It's like we've run away from the world together.
At first, I didn't like having someone around, and I was glad that she's quiet and didn't approach me. But lately, I've missed having someone I can talk to. It's been so long since I've last seen another person.
I never thought I'd miss it. Except her, everything is the same in here, always.
Nothing ever changes.


Penrose Briefing: Phase III
Congratulations, Comrade! You've survived 3000 cycles, reaching the final phase of the Penrose Program. With the end of the operational lifetime of your Replika unit approaching, it is time to prepare for the final phase of your mission.
If you have not found a suitable world for landing by this point, accept that you will not. Find solace in the thought that others might be successful where you failed. As you are probably aware, your ship's spare parts and rations will soon be depleted.
Life support systems and reactor shielding will soon begin to fail, and radiation may begin to leak from the cooling system. We recommend you do not attempt to prolong your suffering by reusing old filters or rationing supplies.
Instead, make peace with your fate. We suggest that you ask your Replika, while it is still functional, to spare you a slow and agonizing death, or that you take permanent rest in the cryogenic pod.
Remember, you will die having served your Nation by partaking in a glorious demonstration of our power.

In the back of the room, there’s a set of double doors. Progressing through here will lead characters to the reactor, which is flooded, leaking, and making a high-pitched, unstable whistle. In order to make it out of this room, characters will have to trudge through irradiated coolant that’s up over their ankles and smelling almost like a sharper version of gasoline. The cooling system is well beyond repair. Geiger counters will show obvious signs of radiation leakage, though it has long-since decayed to relatively safe levels. Still, unshielded electronics are likely to misbehave somewhat in the immediate vicinity.

In this room, characters can find the following note and diary entry:

Those who sing the same song
have heard it in their dreams.
A dark tone, at the edge of hearing
A silent voice, whispering to my heart:

Come join us
Together we will be eternal
There is no escape
We will be one.

But I fear the dark sea
that will swallow me


Cycle 1840
Everything is always the same. I feel like i’m trapped inside this ship. I know every bolt on every panel in every room of it. I’ve seen everything, I’ve done everything there is to do in here. I can’t concentrate on anything. It’s like there’s this fog inside my head, and whenever I try to do anything, I just can’t focus. I want to go outside, I want to breathe fresh air. I want to feel the wind on my face and in my hair. ]

mess hall

[lstr]

[ This room contains a number of computer terminals, which have various readouts of the ship’s status, on one side. On the other is a hexagonal dining room table, complete with two chairs: one for the Gestalt officer and one for the Replika. On a table near the back wall is a glass vase that once contained a potted flower, which has since withered and dried away. All in all, it’s lovely ambiance in which to enjoy a meal.

In this room, characters can find the following notes and diary entry:

Something old, far older than humanity,
sleeps deep below the ground.
Those of us who can
hear its call in the night.
An invitation.
An ocean of memories, where "I" ends and
"We" begin.

Replika Known Issues, Penrose Program
- CLASSIFIED INFORMATION - Gestalt Officer Eyes Only -
Previous experience with these Replika models has given us insight into irregularities in their behavior that stem from the original neural patterns used for these units. Due to the sensitive nature of this information, this document should be destroyed after reading.
LSTR
Elster units were chosen for the Penrose Program for their adaptability and reliability under long-term isolation conditions. Stoic and reserved, Elster units have a relatively stable neural pattern. It is best for you to leave it alone and interact with the Elster unit as little as possible. Elsters' neural pattern was a soldier of Vinetan origin, so their needs are basic. Avoid talking to the Elster unit about the war.
Penrose vessels are fitted with a specialized calibration pod which may help with Persona stabilization. To avoid resurfacing of Gestalt memories, do not show or give the Elster unit photographs, especially of soldiers during the war. Do not show the Elster unit movies, or let it listen to music. Do not try to befriend the Elster unit.

Cycle 1024
Before I met Elster, I never believed I would find someone I could fall in love with like that. ]

personnel; cw: death and possible cw for assisted suicide

[lstr]

[ The dingy remains of where at least one person slept. Like the medbay, half-finished paintings are here and there, along with scattered trash and electronics. A blocky old television is set into the wall opposite the bed, and a record player still spins, playing softly despite the obvious degradation. The music, even through the failing speakers and warped sound, is a wistful classical serenade.

A dead woman, half-mechanical, sits slumped on the floor by the bed. She’s identifiable to anyone who’s either met Elster, or found her documentation aboard the ship, as an identical model.

In this room, characters can find the following diary entries:

Cycle 888
I've tried to teach Elster how to dance. It's so cute how clumsy she can be when it comes to these things.

Cycle 5309
I’m tired of it all.
Every time I go to sleep, I wonder if I’ll wake up again. I’m scared that it’ll be the last time I say good night to her. Did I say it right? Will she be okay?
What if one of us just won’t wake up tomorrow?

Cycle 5555
lost another tooth
there was so much blood
my hands were shaking
why is my hair falling out
i can't sleep

i just want to sleep
please just let me sleep
please, just make it stop
please ]

cryogenics; cw: death and assisted suicide

[lstr]

[ Here lies the cryogenic pod, a coffin-shaped structure that takes up most of the space. Beside it is a machine that funnels both life support to the pod, and a readout of the status of whoever is inside. The adjacent machine, like the rest of the ship, is dead, and the lid of the cryo pod is open.

Inside the pod is a viscous red fluid, not unlike blood, or if your imagination is particularly grim, liquified flesh. It’s thick enough to suspend a body in, which is definitely what it’s for. Atop the liquid floats a photograph.

Slumped next to the pod is the remains of an Elster unit, although that’s hard to tell at first. Most of the unit has been scavenged for parts, and it’s missing an arm, a chest piece, and other critical components.

In this room, characters can find the following diary entry:

Cycle 262144
no longer can tell whether awake or asleep anymore. everything hurts my vision is blurry and my fingers hurt. my back hurts my feet hurt. my teeth hurt. my eyes hurt. everything hurts, all of the time. i can’t go on any longer please make it stop ]

[manyone]

[ Beatrice knows the woman's face. Not well, but she knows it. She met this woman and seeing her dead body... well, it's not disturbing, exactly. She's seen plenty of corpses of those she knows. Here, in this abandoned place though, it feels oddly lonely. Sad, even.

Beatrice crouches to examine the body, gently turning the head to one side, as if she might find some answer to this place within. That done, she stands, shuffles once more through the papers.

It is familiar, sadly familiar. Suffering, pain, so much of it that it rises to obscure those faint glimpses of happiness.

She wishes she did not understand it as well as she did.

Beato fiddles with the television set as well, trying to see if it still has power. ]

ariane yeong | tag-ins welcome, cws continue

[toteninsel]

[ If you happen to be exploring at the right time, you'll find not one, but two bodies slumped against the bed. Only one happens to be breathing.

Ariane Yeong is curled up against the still Elster unit, the unit's hands in her own. Her eyes are closed, and from a distance, it almost looks like the two are sleeping together, were it not for the obvious decay of the unit's body. Ariane is still when you enter, but upon hearing your footsteps, she'll open her eyes and gently kiss the top of the unit's forehead. ]

I'm sorry.

[ Said more to the unit, and less to you. ]

ariane yeong | tag-ins welcome

[toteninsel]

[ Occasionally, you might be able to find Ariane sitting at the table, reading one of the notes. She seems more at ease here, in a weird way, than she does elsewhere in Trench. While she can't say she likes this place, it is deeply familiar to her. She hopes no other space will become this familiar to her again.

If approached, she'll look up and you and offer a mournful smile, which doesn't reach her eyes. ]

Elster doesn't like war movies, huh? Not sure why they bothered to send this one. She already told me that.

ariane yeong | tag-ins welcome, cws continue

[toteninsel]

[ Ariane doesn't know why she visits the reactor. Maybe it's to prove that she can. That it can't hurt her anymore. She's absorbed all its radiation, and is still standing, while this stupid ship won't ever fly again.

All that victory cost was everything, but Ariane isn't especially interested in counting the cost right now. If she started doing that, she'd never be able to leave. Her freedom is already hard-won as it is.

Those who have spoken to Ariane before have probably been on the receiving end of her serene not-quite smiles. This time, however, when she tries to force one, it doesn't quite work. ]

Perhaps this is hell. Don't judge the paintings too harshly, I wasn't at my best.

[lstr]

[ the cathode ray tube comes to life after fits and starts, though the dying lightbulbs in the room flicker with the strain on the dregs of the ship's power supply. the screen lights up in a harsh red for a split second before resolving to bright blue, reading VIDEO in the top left. there are no channel buttons. it can't receive any external signals, by the looks of it, with the only input being an attached vcr. ]

[manyone]

[ Thankfully, Beatrice is from the 80s, so the VCR or other tape player seems familiar enough to her. It takes her a moment to figure out that it's attached, but then she punches at one of the buttons, trying to get it to eject whatever tape might be inside. ]

[hauntedsavior]

[anna has been slowly making her way through the wreckage of the penrose, piecing together a story along the way. it's been easier to understand than most, and she has scout officer ariane yeong to thank for that. it's impossible to know whether that's the same ariane that she knows today. one look at this final cycle count makes it clear just how long this immortal woman had been trapped here. she picks it up and adds it to her inventory; mercifully, she's only gathered four other notes at this point.]

[ BESTANDSAUFNAHME ]
■ Kohlibri
■ along the shore the cloud waves break
■ Penrose Briefing: Phase III
■ Cycle 5555
■ Cycle 262144

[it takes this long for her to notice, in the dim lighting, the pod. the machinery next to it doesn't register as a person until anna has already kneeled down next to it, and she catches the markings of elster's face—no, she thinks, feeling her heart rev up. it must only be an LSTR. the body has been dredged for everything recognizable and useful, torn to pieces and left to remain here for seven hundred years. it sends a shiver up anna's spine. (she thinks of the words "together we will be eternal" and "there is no escape". she tries to ignore the way the geiger counters had jumped when she'd gotten too close to the reactor.) instead, she turns her attention to the pod, lest she see someone she recognizes.]

[her hand dips in; she does not fear the deep sea. she pinches the photograph between her fingers and removes it from the pod. it's a wonder this hasn't dissolved, she thinks. maybe that's the power of eternity. she examines it carefully, comparing what she sees to the corpse of the LSTR unit beside her.]

[manyone]

[ Beatrice stands quietly--she'd rummaged through this room once before, but had returned, wondering if she'd missed something.

And apparently she had.

She looks down at Ariane. ]

You love her very much. I can see that.

[lstr]

[ perhaps the photograph hasn't been there as long as much of its surroundings. perhaps the stage of this penrose was set by one last turn of the dreamer before it fell through the sky.

anna's initial judgement that the body is an elster unit is correct. the chestpiece is ripped away, showing the corroded titanium ribcage underneath. this unit's biocomponents, by and large, have withered to nothingness. the synthskin and the spilled oxidant on its face are intact, even with the stab wound through its eye—the same eye that the elster anna knows bears a scar over. its right arm is missing, seemingly ripped off partway down the bicep. ]

[toteninsel]

[ Someone is here to state the obvious. It's the storytelling witch. Ariane remembers, although here, that conversation feels like it took place years ago.

She doesn't look up at the newcomer, and whether that's out of shame or anger or both, not even Ariane can say. ]

Not enough. I should have never - [ her voice falters, here. ] - not enough.

[manyone]

Ah. But I don't think it's a matter of 'enough.' That is so simple a way of looking at it.

[ Beatrice's voice is sympathetic, though it carries a flint-edge to it. As if reminding someone of something they should be able to remember. Does she see Ariane as another witch, a younger witch? Or simply someone who, like Beatrice, foolishly fell in love? It's hard to tell. Perhaps it's both. ]

I know very well the things we do because we love. Awful things. Terrible things. And sometimes it is the ones we love who suffer as a result, but it all comes from our love, does it not? So you loved her. That should be all that is required, no matter what else comes after that love.

[ She made a promise. ]

[toguchi]

[ The only reason Chozen had to enter this crumpled wreck was to see if there was anyone inside he might be able to help. This is why, once he is inside, the first place he looks is the medbay.

Nothing he finds there changes what he is looking for. It does him a moment's pause for contemplation, his fingertips on the edge of a note, his eyes settled on one of the least coherent paintings. He exhales slowly into the stale, dead air, letting his eyelids droop, and he balances his considerations.

In the end, it is not a difficult decision. Chozen knows what he is risking to linger here, the slow and quick deaths, invisible and relentless. It is only that there is a promise that he has made to himself, from a long time ago, and a promise kept so long becomes a habit. He is too old to be very good at breaking habits any longer.

The reactor doors slide open. He wades into the coolant steadily, not bothering to look at any of the dials or sensors around him. They can only tell him things he will find out soon anyway, one way or another. ]

I do not think they were so bad.

[ He doesn't smile back at her, but his eyes are soft in the broken darkness. ]

Hello, Ariane-san.

[toteninsel]

[ One part of Beatrice's speech rings especially true. ]

I hurt her.

[ Elster died alone. Over and over, Ariane did that to her, because she was selfish. Ariane stands, and like this, with her white hair and white dress, she looks like a long-dead ghost of a long-dead ship. ]

Don't you want to see? I can show you. [ Said bitterly. ] That's why you came here, isn't it?

[toteninsel]

[ Ariane's smile drops the second she realizes who's standing before her. Chozen is the person she least wanted to see here, and not because she dislikes him. Ariane can feel her muscles tensing, a combination of fear and shame and guilt mixing into what is nearly a flight response. But she doesn't move. ]

Hello, Sensei.

[ That's not his name. A name would be far too much. She's quiet again, and the whistle of the failed reactor feels like a needle being pushed through her ear.

He saw her paintings. He probably also saw the mission briefings, too, and who knows what else. ]

You should go. The radiation is - it's not as much as it once was, but it's still a risk.

[ She can't hurt him, too. ]

[manyone]

Yes, you must have.

[ Beatrice doesn't know the details, and while she's curious she doesn't need to know them. She sees enough of herself in this to understand. ]

I came because it is something new, and I enjoy the novel.

[ Beatrice flicks a hand in a gesture that might be dismissive. ]

You act as if you're the only one who's ever hurt someone they loved. Show me or don't, that's up to you. I didn't come here to demand that of you. It would be terribly rude of me, don't you think?

[hauntedsavior]

[it's chilling. all of this. she takes the photograph with her, just in case, adding it to the documents she's brought along and that she's holding in a loose bundle at her side. she rests that bundle on the floor, then, and turns her attention to the LSTR unit.]

Elster. [her voice feels too big for this room no matter how hushed a tone she uses. she brushes her fingers through the unit's hair, cups its face with her hand like she's touching the one she knows. the position of her hand matches the soft, oil-slick iridescence that's on her own cheek, and in the moment she thinks herself kainé. the gestalt staring at a broken, beloved replika. body torn, eye ruined, all usefulness stripped from her. all she has left is this pod and eternity.]

[all it has left. anna's just projecting. this is a dead spaceship. it's a graveyard of ariane's life. it is not anna's garden and never will be. she breathes out slowly and rests her hand on the LSTR unit's left shoulder. words that she hasn't found a reason to speak in just about a year pour quietly from her lips.]

Vater Unser im Himmel, geheiligt werde Dein Name, Dein Reich komme, Dein Wille geschehe, wie im Himmel, so auf Erden.

[she speaks the rest of it effortlessly. this time, she speaks clearly the part about forgiving trespasses. this time, she doesn't leave out the amen. it's the closest and clearest look she's allowed herself at the LSTR unit, amidst this moment of quiet in their shared tongue. she doubts anyone has given her this kind of care since the moment the penrose crashed, with her arm missing and her ribcage exposed like this. something compels anna to search its body, first with her eye and then with her hands. she mutters an embarrassed "entschuldigung" as she examines the LSTR unit. like it can hear her.]

[lstr]

[ if the prayer is received, or its subject has any way of benefiting, is a question without an answer.

the unit has a revolver half-clutched in its still extant hand. small pouches are strapped to a belt along its hips, with one of the only things of interest being a folded piece of paper in its pocket.

right away, the seal of eusan is visible, along with a faded stationery header.


AEON Facility S-23 Sierpinski
From the Desk of the Administrator

the aeon seal gives away the meaning of the acronym plainly, the National Ministry for Work and Education.

unfold the note? ]

[hauntedsavior]

[anna reads the header carefully and recalls the name sierpinski. she remembers the conversation with a small hummingbird and the words that hummingbird had used to describe the woman this LSTR unit had died beside. her breath shakes. she may be on the verge of learning something she'd prefer not to know, but she's taken too many steps and learned too much.]

[she unfolds the note. she has to.]

[toguchi]

[ Chozen does not move. His stance is ready, but relaxed, thoroughly incongruous in this environment with all its clamouring discord and danger. It takes a conscious effort to maintain such a posture against the whistling of the reactor, but not so much of one it's burdensome. ]

Ah, yes. I know.

[ His smile comes now, a little sad. He spreads his palms at his sides and shrugs, then falls back into easy waiting. ]

We have nuclear power on Earth. Usually, safe, but sometimes...there have been accidents. Worse than accidents. [ His voice is placid as a deep, still pool. ] I understand risk.

We should go. This is not a good place.

[lstr]

[ the note is handwritten, different from those left by ariane or similar hands. bold, somewhat shaky scrawls of a fountain pen, with spots of old, old blood speckling the paper: ]

STOP

You must turn back.
There is nothing for you there.
You've tried so many times,
and you've failed every time.
Don't you see that you're ruining everything?
This is your final warning.
- Adler

[ the bottom of the paper features a boilerplate "signature", stating the facility's administrator as ADLR-S2301.

a small key falls out of the paper once unfolded. ]