[ There's very little that can truly rattle Allen's composure past the point where he can put on a front. Even when he feels terror or rage, he's near always able to push that down to put a calm demeanor or a smile on, to pretend everything is -- or at least will be -- okay.
This is an exception. Losing control over or the loss of his Innocence has always been an exception. Perhaps worse now, because he has lost it before. And while that time was because of an enemy destroying it and rending it from his body... this time it was to a background fear he's had for a long, long time now. Since he first learned of Apocryphos and its intentions for him.
Losing it to, essentially, itself. Its supposed true nature.
So he's almost entirely disassociated by the time Shouto pulls him into the embrace, breath coming in quick puffs and eyes wide and unseeing. He barely even seems to realize that he's being held at first, stiff in his arms, until the urgent but reassuring kisses begin to register and Allen yields. Taking a great, shuddering breath as his arm comes up and he grips onto his back too, sagging into the embrace with a threadbare relief. Burying his nose into Shouto's collar and breathing in the sense of warmth and security: of home. I wish I could talk with you. His breaths take a moment to even out, but they do as he starts to get a handle on his nerves. He touches the back of Shouto's head gently, fingers sliding through the strands of red and white.
Thank you. ]
It isn't... the first time. [ With a final shaky exhale, Allen reluctantly pulls back slightly so they can face each other, even if his eyes stay trained somewhere around his Shouto's collarbone. ]
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This is an exception. Losing control over or the loss of his Innocence has always been an exception. Perhaps worse now, because he has lost it before. And while that time was because of an enemy destroying it and rending it from his body... this time it was to a background fear he's had for a long, long time now. Since he first learned of Apocryphos and its intentions for him.
Losing it to, essentially, itself. Its supposed true nature.
So he's almost entirely disassociated by the time Shouto pulls him into the embrace, breath coming in quick puffs and eyes wide and unseeing. He barely even seems to realize that he's being held at first, stiff in his arms, until the urgent but reassuring kisses begin to register and Allen yields. Taking a great, shuddering breath as his arm comes up and he grips onto his back too, sagging into the embrace with a threadbare relief. Burying his nose into Shouto's collar and breathing in the sense of warmth and security: of home. I wish I could talk with you. His breaths take a moment to even out, but they do as he starts to get a handle on his nerves. He touches the back of Shouto's head gently, fingers sliding through the strands of red and white.
Thank you. ]
It isn't... the first time. [ With a final shaky exhale, Allen reluctantly pulls back slightly so they can face each other, even if his eyes stay trained somewhere around his Shouto's collarbone. ]
Although the circumstances are really different.