[Of all the things Reaper has said to him in this conversation, that probably holds the most comfort. Maybe it's not the most insightful or perspective shifting of words, (the award for that goes to his telling him in not so many words that killing him was what he needed to do to reclaim control), but certainly the most soothing. Of course, given their complex history and relationship, soothing from Reaper is like the difference between using a cheese grater or low grit sandpaper as a washcloth.
And due to that fact, he doesn't know what to say, so he says nothing. But the shift in the air and his body language is significant. His shoulders relax more, and his head hangs lower as the tension that has had him so coiled reduces. And his expression doesn't shift too much or is very easy to see, but he looks closer to tears, the kind of good cathartic tears… that he is stubbornly going to hold in, especially in front of this guy.
And it's a good thing that he doesn't really care for sympathy, especially not from Reaper. There's a part of him that just wants to talk to him about it for some reason exactly because he knows Reaper isn't going to give him that worried look and treat him like glass. He has been hiding it from everyone since the incident and he's tired of carrying it silently without knowing what it is. Does this mean part of him slightly trusts Reaper now? Maybe… in some strange, distorted sort of way. It's so complicated and confusing, he doesn't want to spare the energy to think too hard on it right now.]
…I dunno. Both maybe… [He lets out a shuddered breath.] Moira gave me these powers… not on purpose, but… she'd know. Probably. Or Pidge might, but she'd worry too much.
[Where is he even going with this? He doesn't know exactly. It just feels like something he needs to talk about, maybe because he knows enough by now about Reaper's connection to the person who gave him his abilities and that he's not gonna worry about it, that it feels weirdly like a safe subject right now. Or maybe he will worry about it, what does he know anymore? At the very least, he won't show it.]
I know you don't care… I guess that's why I'm telling you. And my powers work fine, I can probably blow you up again right now if I wanted, it would just really… hurt. Like a lot. [Just, slipping in there that he's not admitting weakness. The idea that Reaper thinks he's an easy target right now does not help at all, fills him with intense fear he'd conquered when he killed him. With that out of the way, he sniffs and reaches into his coat with his good hand to pull out a roll of bandages. His voice takes on a scathing sarcasm.]
So as much as I really wanna yell at and hit you, it's not worth how much it would hurt. Unless you try to torture me again, anyway. Then all bets are off.
no subject
And due to that fact, he doesn't know what to say, so he says nothing. But the shift in the air and his body language is significant. His shoulders relax more, and his head hangs lower as the tension that has had him so coiled reduces. And his expression doesn't shift too much or is very easy to see, but he looks closer to tears, the kind of good cathartic tears… that he is stubbornly going to hold in, especially in front of this guy.
And it's a good thing that he doesn't really care for sympathy, especially not from Reaper. There's a part of him that just wants to talk to him about it for some reason exactly because he knows Reaper isn't going to give him that worried look and treat him like glass. He has been hiding it from everyone since the incident and he's tired of carrying it silently without knowing what it is. Does this mean part of him slightly trusts Reaper now? Maybe… in some strange, distorted sort of way. It's so complicated and confusing, he doesn't want to spare the energy to think too hard on it right now.]
…I dunno. Both maybe… [He lets out a shuddered breath.] Moira gave me these powers… not on purpose, but… she'd know. Probably. Or Pidge might, but she'd worry too much.
[Where is he even going with this? He doesn't know exactly. It just feels like something he needs to talk about, maybe because he knows enough by now about Reaper's connection to the person who gave him his abilities and that he's not gonna worry about it, that it feels weirdly like a safe subject right now. Or maybe he will worry about it, what does he know anymore? At the very least, he won't show it.]
I know you don't care… I guess that's why I'm telling you. And my powers work fine, I can probably blow you up again right now if I wanted, it would just really… hurt. Like a lot. [Just, slipping in there that he's not admitting weakness. The idea that Reaper thinks he's an easy target right now does not help at all, fills him with intense fear he'd conquered when he killed him. With that out of the way, he sniffs and reaches into his coat with his good hand to pull out a roll of bandages. His voice takes on a scathing sarcasm.]
So as much as I really wanna yell at and hit you, it's not worth how much it would hurt. Unless you try to torture me again, anyway. Then all bets are off.