[Lance nods a little shakily, but his expression says he's really having trouble applying it to himself. He closes his eyes and then sits heavily on a nearby pile of logs, leaning his elbows on his knees. Might as well, since he's too caught up in massive emotional confusion to work right now.]

I tried to do that for a long time after… [It was publicly broadcast what Reaper did, he doesn't feel like vocalizing it again.] Maybe… I just wasn't strong enough. I'd… see him all the time. And every time I did, it was like reliving it again, like I was never going to escape. But then I killed him, and…

[And it was the first time in a while he wasn't afraid when he looked at that mask, like he took back control from an abuser who was allowed to walk free, it was so intensely world shifting, he snapped. But he doesn't say that, doesn't have the words right now, if he ever will.

He's so scared about what it says about him that it took killing the person he feared so deeply and refused to get revenge on for so long to feel like he might be able to finally move forward from that experience. Divided is almost not strong enough of a word to describe how he feels. He shrugs a little helplessly, heavily. Even saying this much is visibly difficult for him, so he swallows and just skips to the end where he asks in a small, confused voice:]

Did I do the wrong thing?