deercountry | Mostly Closed Catch-all for November

Entry tags:

Mostly Closed Catch-all for November

Who: Lance (

azurestar) and CR
What: Catch-all for November, after this
When: All of November
Where: Prufrock, Cellar Door, Crenshaw

Content Warnings: discussion of death, murder, trauma/ptsd, psychosis, past torture

( ooc: this is a catchall for Lance this November after his conflict with Reaper and then Maul, though I am trying to keep my new threads this month limited in number, if you have CR with Lance already you are welcome to come plot something with me here or on plurk at

spypigeon and we can start something here in this log or I may ask to wait till next month while I get his inbox more caught up and under control if I've already got too much going on, either way I'm happy to plot always! )

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[Lance smirks lightly and knowingly. Oh, he definitely knows that look. But he's not really in the right place mentally to get on Varian's case and tease him about it like he normally might.]

That's a pretty awesome story about that Flynn guy. Thieves are pretty cool. And I totally know how big of a deal it is getting to meet your hero and be his friend… and I'm not talking about Peter, though he was awesome. Too bad I didn't go hang out with him more, talk about missed opportunity.

[He rubs at the back of his neck a bit, trailing off. Then he starts to push himself off from leaning against the tree, and… immediately gives up on that because oh yeah, he's been pushing himself after a huge fight with Darth fucking Maul that nearly killed him. He huffs in dull amusement and shakes his head.]

Y'know… I also watched Maul as a kid. On T.V. …How wild is that? [Well, that's segue into the elephant in the room (forest?) if there ever was one.] …I'm sorry I worried you, man.

[This day, Varian has had mercy shine down on him. ]

YEugene is pretty amazing. One of the best people I know. Peter was too, honestly, I'm sorry you never got to hang out with him much. He was pretty funny.

[And now he's just...gone and Varian's still not sure how to process that. He thought Trench would be the end for all of them and that's not the case. It's...worrying.]

Ohhh, yeah- that happens. Eddie told me he saw my world in a movie once? And it's...uh- a well-known fairytale. Or at least Rapunzel's story is? It's...weird. [He tries not to think about it too much it's trippy. His expression softens. Ah. That. ] It's...fine. I'm just glad you're okay. Or...as okay as you can be.

[Lance smiles faintly and nods.] It's good to have people like that in your corner… wait, Rapunzel? Seriously? I don't remember you from the fairy-tale and I've read it like a zillion times. Though, I guess a guy named Flynn Rider was in the movie but not in the book…

[Then he's quiet for a moment, pensive, and after some internal struggle he makes himself be at least semi-honest. No lies, just limited truths that definitely indicate he is pretty far from okay.] Weeeell. I'm alive! And so is Maul... promises made, promises kept. At least there's that, right?

[He huffs a bit of a breathy laugh that sort of cracks in the middle.] Reaper... also came to see me the other day.

Yes, Rapunzel. And I don't see myself in the book, at least. And apparently not the movie either, but I didn't watch that because...it's weird. [Seeing people you know personally as movie characters is a little too much.] But I didn't meet either of them until six months after they escaped Gothel, so-

[He squints a little, but he'll take a limited truth over a lie. That's...something at least. He can't his head, surprised.]

He did? How...did that go? We uh- talked to him in the house about the whole thing. He's moved out for a while.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I met a guy a while back who knew me from this old cartoon he watched as a kid. Watching it would be sooo weird. [He shudders. Then hums thoughtfully.] Maybe you're in something else. Like a comic book.

[Watch him squirm a bit under that look, Varian. He rubs at his arm, looking conflicted and vulnerable for a moment before he looks away. He's tense and trying hard not to just shut down, but it's definitely an extremely difficult subject.]

It went… fine, I guess. Me and him have kind of a… complicated relationship.

Maybe? I think this is one of the few times where ignorance is bliss. I'd rather not know. My life has been miserable enough without knowing other people have been privy to it.

[He doesn't like the number of people who have learned about his past through Deerington foisting his memories on people. The thought of it being readily available is...very uncomfortable.

He snorts lightly.]

That's an understatement. Did you guys work out...I don't know, some kind of peace? Or are we gonna have another fight further down the line?

[It's a silly conversation about people reading or watching your life and your friends' lives and yet… Varian's last words about it punch him in the chest. In the same way Bolin telling him he wanted him to play Columbia had him falling apart and the same way joking with Hunk about a pulley system in the barn had him feeling sick.

Ever since Reaper and Maul, the most unrelated things have been tearing at his soul and ripping out uncontrolled emotional responses in a way that makes him feel like he's a constant live wire just desperately trying to shield his exposed parts.

His jaw clenches and he swallows hard, his breath comes after shuddered and a bit ragged as he looks off to the side.] Man, I… I know what you mean.

[His eyes close and then he has to quickly swipe at his cheek to get rid of a bit of wetness before it can be seen. Then he starts to disconnect and close off.] I dunno. It's fine for now, I guess.

[Varian watches him with a soft frown. He noticed the quick movement there, Lance. And there's no way anyone could be even remotely okay after all that's happened. ]

...I don't believe you.

[His tone is still even, but firm. He exhales slowly, shrugging. ]

Buuuut I can't change you on that one. Just- try to take it easy best you can, okay?

[Lance is still and silent for a long moment as he swallows down his emotions and shoves them in a box, and he nods.]

Yeah, sure.

[There's something blocking him from saying more, he can't identify it. A feeling of insecurity, lack of safety, and he doesn't know why. Part of him reasons that they are standing out in the middle of the woods, that's not exactly safe and he did just hack up a bunch of blue mushrooms that might have suffocated him. He lets out a breath and tries to summon some energy into his hand to start cutting down another tree, then winces and stops.]

Keeping busy focuses the mind. So I'm cleaning up the mess… I think The Tower fixed the worst of it… [He lets out a huff and assesses the tree, trying to figure out how to get it down quick without his powers.] Who knows why it wasn't all of it, though.

I don't think questioning the Pthumerians will get us anywhere. They seem to do whatever they want, whenever they want. No rhyme or reason.

[He continues to watch Lance, worried, unsettled. He can't even argue with what Lance is doing, because isn't this how he tends to deal with his own pain? Throwing himself into work because it was easier to focus on that than everything going on in his own head? ]

Just make sure to not work yourself to nothing. None of us want that.

Seems like it.

[He lets out a breath and then after a pause where he grits his teeth against a lot of emotional turmoil that he swallows down, he nods. A shallow breath is heaved, one that sounds wet and ragged and he tries to summon energy again… it appears and then he lets it go, feeling the strain on his damaged cells. Then he begrudgingly admits he's not good enough to figure this out…]

I guess… I could use some help with this tree if you've… got a saw or something.

[Give him a second, he's going to dig around in his backpack of holding and pull out...yeah, a saw. Just in his bag. Loose. With the chemicals. Like you do. ]

Sure thing, I got a saw! Let's uh... get to fixing this up.

[Lance just sort of gives that saw and where it came from a flat look… but he does not have the mental capacity to get into that right now.]

Right… we'll just cover safety handling sharp objects some other time…

[Time to get to taking down this tree.]

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Mostly Closed Catch-all for November

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ignore that last one lmao tag bomb fumble

there there

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wrap?

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