Mostly Closed Catch-all for November

[azurestar]

Who: Lance (azurestar) and CR
What: Catch-all for November, after this
When: All of November
Where: Prufrock, Cellar Door, Crenshaw

Content Warnings: discussion of death, murder, trauma/ptsd, psychosis, past torture

( ooc: this is a catchall for Lance this November after his conflict with Reaper and then Maul, though I am trying to keep my new threads this month limited in number, if you have CR with Lance already you are welcome to come plot something with me here or on plurk at spypigeon and we can start something here in this log or I may ask to wait till next month while I get his inbox more caught up and under control if I've already got too much going on, either way I'm happy to plot always! )

Comments

[azurestar]

[Lance swallows and doesn't know what else to do but nod in a shaky understanding and gratitude. He feels unsteady and like he needs to go out into the forest or take a boat out onto the ocean and just let loose. But he doesn't, his experience with letting loose on his emotions has never ended well for him.

He needs something to focus on, something not the gnawing gaping hole he feels inside of his chest. His eyes drift down to the oven mitts on Shiro's hands as he grips through them. That's a good subject shift, yeah…]

What's… with the oven mitts?

[shiro2hero]

[He'll wait. He'll wait as long as it takes, honestly. If Lance is done talking, for now, that's okay. There's a lot of pain here, more than he thinks he can successfully coax out in just one talk. Important thing is, he knows some of it now. He can try and help.]

[He has to try and help.]

Hm? [Shiro pauses, and looks down too. Then... laughs. It's quiet, a little self-conscious. A little forced.] Oh uh. I figured it'd help the whole paleblood thing.

Can't really transfer feelings through an oven mitt, right?

[Yeah, that's right. He thinks it applies to all palebloods. Good job, Shiro.]

[azurestar]

[He blinks because what? He is positive he never said anything to anyone about that. Okay, he's been through this before with his mom and usually he just keeps playing dumb and pussyfooting around until he gets a clear idea of what is… happening.]

Uh, what're you talking about?

[shiro2hero]

[Shiro looks as dumbfounded as humanly possible. Like Lance said he was secretly Hunk in a very convincing disguise. He looks down at the mitts again.]

I... thought it was a paleblood thing. Touch people, get their emotions? Was I wrong?

[Should he let go altogether?]

[azurestar]

Uh, yep. Totally wrong.

[Wrong that it's a paleblood thing, at least. It's definitely a him thing, but he's not going to let on to that. At least not the pain-taking part of it.]

Some palebloods only read minds, some make illusions or see the future, buuuut touching isn't a standard part of it for everyone at all. Why the heck did you think that?

[shiro2hero]

Crud.

[That's right. Not even a "crap". But he does press a hand to his forehead. Oven mitt and all. When he speaks up again, it's a bit muffled by all the fabric until he drops it.]

I'm sorry. I... thought I was making it easier on you. [He sighs.] I guess I don't know as many of you as I thought? There's you. Ryan...

Wu? I think? I haven't really shaken hands with him or anything since we woke up here, though. [He's had more physical contact with Mako, to be honest.]

[azurestar]

[Lance snorts and awkwardly waves off the apology.]

Dude, don't worry about it. It's kinda funny, actually. [He smiles slightly.] I think Wu can make people feel super comforted when he hugs them or something. As for me? I feel like basic emotions just being near people. And, you're actually not that far off. Reeeemember when I first got my star powers and I couldn't touch anyone with bare skin because it was dangerous?

It's kinda like that. So I've got the gloves thing covered just like back then, no oven mitts required. And it's not that big of a deal anyway, I touch you with a bare hand, I feel all your feelings and I can help you feel better, big whoop.

[shiro2hero]

Well. If it's one thing I can do, it's humor.

[No, he can't. It's his terrible coping mechanism, and he likes bad puns. Still - he hadn't overstepped, and that's a relief]

[He will make a mental note to ask Will about it, though.]

I... really just didn't want to make things worse for you. Figured it was better to be overly cautious than not. [Seriously, he'd feel horrendous if he ended up making things worse here. More than that. He's already swimming in guilt where Lance is concerned - it'd just be the icing on the Terrible Cake.] But - I'll keep that in mind. In case I need your help down the line.

[azurestar]

[Lance snorts lightly at that.] Yeah, dad humor.

[Then he nods slowly, understanding that… and now feeling bad about keeping the full nature of his powers from Shiro. He closes his eyes against it. If he tells him, Shiro will never let him help in the only way that he feels like he can these days. But he also can feel that guilt and worry and…]

…If I'm being totally honest they're not actually that easy to use. But all I want to do is find something good I can do with all these dumb powers I never wanted…

[shiro2hero]

I learned it from the best.

[Then he's quiet, again, looking down at his hands. Just listening. It doesn't feel as if he can do much else, these days. There's nothing else he can do to help. He's already let them all down too many times.]

You will. [It's said with all the conviction he can muster. And, well. Since this is Shiro, it's a lot.] Maybe we'll find some kind of wise old Paleblood to help, somewhere.

[azurestar]

[He snorts at that suggestion.]

Like a paleblood Yoda?