deercountry | will you be there up on the shore

Entry tags:

will you be there up on the shore

Who: Shiro (

shiro2hero ) & Adam (

saltyadam )
What: A beachside Reunion
When: Early November
Where: The Shores

Content Warnings: Squid-related nudity

Today is one of those days he would have preferred to spend in the Orphanage. It's bitter cold, the sky a solid slab of steel grey, hanging low toward the buildings. Sure, he'd graduated to one of the heavier coats sold around town - but the wing keeps howling through the fabric. Cutting into it off the ocean.

Should have guessed it'd be brutal out here today.

Regardless, Shiro is once again patrolling the shores. He's seen new faces crop up on the network lately. It's that time of the month. He'd promised more than a few people he'd keep an eye out for their loved ones. It's the least he can do, considering he'd failed to bring his own across. Those thoughts aren't going anywhere any time soon. Not even after Vyng yanked him out of the surf and out of his head.

Or out of potential Return Of The Squid anyway.

He stops for a moment, pulling his hands out of his pockets to try and blow some warmth into his left hand. Maybe he should turn around. Maybe he should go back to the Orphanage and play jungle gym for the kids for a while. That'd help.

It looked as if there weren't many new arrivals today. Maybe even the squids were too cold.

One more failure of a day to add to the list, looked like.

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He puts the noodles aside, tugging Takashi by the hand, guiding them both to lay down together in bed. They're on top of the sheets, and Adam shifts to his side so he can scoot in closer.

"I'm not going anywhere."

It doesn't take much. It never does. The slightest pull and he's moved, whether it's pushed, or pulled. He'll go. The only resistance is a moment of hesitation, to grab one of the quilts he'd brought.

Pull it over the both of them.

"I thought..." The words don't even come out. They don't want to. He thought those moments in the greenhouse had been it. One last grasp of something better, something that finally seemed to work, before the nightmare ended. "I waited. Joined the Wakers on the shore so I wouldn't miss..."

Anyone.

You.

"It felt like I walked away again."

He slides an arm across Takashi's chest, tangling their legs under the blanket.

"You didn't. Even if I never came back, it wouldn't have been your fault."

He presses a light kiss to his temple.

"Stop taking the world's burdens on your shoulders, Takashi. You aren't responsible for the hell that place brought."

It still fits. They still fit. He doesn't know why he would have expected any different. Why things would have changed in just a few months. Has it really been just a few months? It feels like far longer.

You aren't responsible for the hell that place brought

He doesn't want to admit how much he wants to believe that. How much he desperately wants to cling to those words and hold them up against the barrage of disquiet in his chest. Instead, he just holds on, tightly.

"Thank you," is all he can manage to say. "I - missed this."

It's not an acknowledgement that this isn't his fault. Adam knows he still blames himself. But at least he knows Adam doesn't think he should. He believes him when he says he doesn't hold him responsible.

It's progress.

Adam gives him a squeeze, relaxing in the safety of how well they fit together.

"I'm so glad we both made it here. Together. I told you I was more stubborn than that place."

No, it's not. He does want to believe it. Wants to believe Adam and Will and anyone else who's ever tried to reassure him otherwise. But as much as he tries, he still sees the hole open in front of the hospital, still sees the ghosts of everyone he'd lost.

At this point, he's not sure what it's going to take to chase the thoughts permanently out of his head.

"More stubborn than a lot of things." It's said fondly. Some of the tension starting to ease out of him. Focusing on something else. "You'll hate the name. 'Trench'."

Adam wrinkles his nose. "Trench? This place is called Trench? It sounds like where you dump sewage on ground missions."

There were many, many reasons why Adam was in the R&D branch of the Garrison. A foot soldiers life was a bit too... earthy for his tastes.

And Shiro laughs - briefly, gently. "I told you you'd hate it."

It feels good to be here. To be talking like this. Like there's no grand fate or massive research undertaking at stake.

"The locals... they like us here. They know what we are, but still. They like us. They want us here, and they'll actually help however they can."

Adam makes a noncommittal hum.

"They definitely seem more friendly, but they could also be waiting for something. For all we know they're just glad we're here so they can sacrifice us to-- I don't know, a giant deer God or something."

"A giant deer god."

The deadpan repetition is incredibly skeptical. Partly because the deer had always been a good sign. A good omen.

"You know, I haven't actually seen any deer since we got here..."

"Or whatever shifty animals they have here. You know there has to be a cursed something."

He absolutely does not give a self assured sniff to match his tone. Because he's an adult.

"Plenty of squids, though."

"Just the squids, and they usually turn out all right."

Isn't he funny?

He exhales, slowly. Sometimes the Ravens seemed to be smarter than the average crow, but what does he know about birds?

"We haven't been attacked yet. Not like in Deerington."

"But you've been injured."

It wasn't a question.

"Fern mentioned some people had been beaten up since arriving here.. If you aren't being attacked, how?"

The fact it takes him some time to answer probably tells Adam more than any actual words could. He thinks - skimming over the memory of the Arena as much as possible without delving too deeply into it.

"It happened last month," he says, finally. Averting his eyes. "I don't know why, or how, but - I felt useless." His voice actually stumbles, hitches, on that last word.

"Vyng says he found me on the beach. Cut up. But I don't remember going there. Or being attacked."

Adam makes a note to speak with Vyng. And bring him a thank you basket.

He holds Takashi as he speaks, moving his hands across his back in slow, reassuring circles. I'm here.

"So nothing attacked you that you can remember. Just ... old wounds reopened? Perhaps both physically and symbolically then."

"I don't know. Maybe."

He really has no idea. Nothing about that incident made sense. Vyng kept talking about a "Deadly-Do-Wright" but, honestly, Shiro couldn't tell anyone what that meant, in retrospect.

"We haven't been attacked. But things... keep happening. You'll turn up somewhere you didn't mean to be. You never tried to be." You never wanted to be...

Adam's brow furrows.

"Like those kids from the orphanage you mentioned? Going onto the roof and just appearing inside again?"

Was this place putting them in specific places for a reason? Or just a kid with an ant farm, experimenting?

"No." His answer is immediate, firm. He shakes his head, though his hand fists in the blanket. "No, they... when they appeared inside, they were safe. Whatever is moving them, it's doing it to protect them."

You just got that sense from it. After all, why else snatch them away from playing Superman?

So far... the Sleepers haven't seemed to be so lucky.

"And it isn't doing the same with us? Maybe it thinks it is."

After all, being here is making Adam safer isn't it? He's dead back home. Moving him suddenly here is certainly safer than that.

“Dropping people into combat arenas, rivers of corpses and leaving them to bleed on the beach doesn’t seem that safe.”

It’s far more bitter than Shiro typically sounds. Certain words coming out before he can shut them down. Unguarded. But -

This was supposed to be the waking world. Somewhere away from the nightmare. So why does this crap keep happening?

Adam presses a kiss to his forehead.

"I don't know, babe. Just trying to work out the logic of this place."

His brow furrowed.

"There's an arena here?"

He sighs, slowly, heavily. Breathe - focus. "I'm sorry. I know. I know - I just hoped waking up would be easier. You know?"

Less nightmares. Fewer horrors. They're not so lucky, apparently.

Then, silence. The tension creeps back into his body, hands curling again, while he fights the urge to roll over. Away. Avoid this. He said he'd work on it. He said he'd try.

"... Yeah," he manages, through set jaw. "There is."

"Hey, it's just me. It's alright. You're allowed to be mad, upset. To feel cheated by this place. You have been."

Adam stiffens too. He smooths a hand across Takashis back, rubbing in slow circles.

".. ah." His jaw clenches. "So much for this being a more peaceful place."

He didn't want Takashi anywhere near that arena.

"Guess it was too much to hope for. Things getting better." Him being allowed to be mad? That sounds fake. That sounds like something he can't accept.

Not yet.

"I - " For a moment his shoulders pull away. Pull back from the contact. Like he's worried about something. About the reaction. "I never wanted to be there. I didn't try. I swear, I just... I woke up there. Like the beach."

But there's no scolding. There's just the offer of comfort. He stops fighting the touch, finally.

"Takashi, I know. I believe you." He can't imagine a world where Takashi would enter a battle ring willingly. Not unless he had no other choice.

He continues to rub his back.

"Was it just you there?"

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