searingwing: (All my indecision)
Diluc Ragnvindr ([personal profile] searingwing) wrote in [community profile] deercountry 2022-01-16 01:47 pm (UTC)

[He thought he had answered. Diluc turns over what he had said and finds it sufficient. But it seems it isn’t.

And he looks at his hands. Is it fear? The thought of just going through, letting go and fighting with everything. Even the darker things. Makes him see his will being crushed in icy jaws and Yuri yelling at him to stop. Or he hears the rain.

He closes his eyes. As he realizes what it is. What it really is.]
…It’s guilt.

[He says very slowly. It feels like he is pulling a chain out of the depths.] Every time I’ve truly let go. Terrible things happen.

[Yuri. Kaeya. The heap of lives from three years of searching for the truth. Sodder. Vision or no vision. That’s the real issue here. Why he imposes so many chains on himself in a fight.]

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