[It's a lot to process, everything Break says. At first, Qrow doesn't even fully register the olive branch he's handed right at the beginning, his own mind too full of noise and static to really hear him when he says things will be better for this conversation. Ultimately, Break isn't wrong; he held himself at a distance from Ruby and her friends instead of traveling alongside them, and it had almost gotten them hurt, once. Almost gotten him killed, even; he still has vague impressions of being dragged up a mountain, dying of poison, because he couldn't bear to explain why Ruby should stay back from him -- leaving himself open when he was forced then to protect her from the effects of his Semblance. He had walked away before he could see her reaction, then, too afraid to see what might be in her eyes as she processed the truth of her uncle's existence. He hadn't thought he could bear it if Ruby was afraid, or horrified, or angry. Knowing has brought them closer, ultimately, but there is no denying that the moment was tense, and she wasn't thrilled that he'd kept it from her until after she'd been attacked by one of Salem's minions coming after her.
Even the others in Deerington had generally only learned about his Semblance under duress, because something forced him to tell it or because their own supernatural abilities were able to sense that something was off when his misfortunes happened. Here he has the opportunity to talk about it on his own terms, to someone who might actually understand in some way that nobody else ever could.]
...Hah. A literal bad luck charm. How about that.
[He can't quite help the bitter chuckle that bubbles up out of his throat. Distantly, he registers something ironic in that this man with whom he has shared so many experiences using the same choice of words that he did, the first time he told it to Ruby.
Qrow scrubs at his face with a hand, letting it rake through his hair next. He hates this, honestly. It never gets easier to have this conversation, even if nobody's been unkind to him about it in a long time. His heart feels like it's thundering in his ears. At last, he sighs.]
It's not that I don't believe you.
[He lets those red eyes flutter closed a moment, trying to collect his thoughts.]
...Oz believed in me even back when I didn't believe in me. Even when I thought nobody could ever want someone cursed like me around. The kids didn't care, either, when they found out.
[He doesn't really think everyone in his life secretly hates him. His life has changed a lot since the days he grew up with the bandits. But that's not really the point, is it?]
I just...I didn't want you to know.
[Brothers, he sounds stupid. Qrow fiddles idly with the clover pin that hangs down from the chain at his neck.]
Everyone else, maybe they don't blame me, maybe nobody says anything, but we all know the accidents that happen when I'm around are probably my fault. I can't ever escape what I am, but with you...for a while I could pretend, you know? That I was just--normal.
[There's a pained note to his voice, there, and he looks away. It's selfish of him, he knows. Qrow is the sort of man who would abandon anything for his loved ones, but this is one weakness in his heart that he's always struggled with. There's another sigh, and it's more tired. He has lived with being what he is for as long as he can remember. He'd just wanted to be normal and free with one person, but it's still dishonest. He still hears Ruby in the back of his mind, asking why he couldn't trust her enough to travel alongside her, why he'd chosen to try to protect her from the shadows, instead.]
I should've told you sooner, but I wanted to keep that as long as I could.
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Even the others in Deerington had generally only learned about his Semblance under duress, because something forced him to tell it or because their own supernatural abilities were able to sense that something was off when his misfortunes happened. Here he has the opportunity to talk about it on his own terms, to someone who might actually understand in some way that nobody else ever could.]
...Hah. A literal bad luck charm. How about that.
[He can't quite help the bitter chuckle that bubbles up out of his throat. Distantly, he registers something ironic in that this man with whom he has shared so many experiences using the same choice of words that he did, the first time he told it to Ruby.
Qrow scrubs at his face with a hand, letting it rake through his hair next. He hates this, honestly. It never gets easier to have this conversation, even if nobody's been unkind to him about it in a long time. His heart feels like it's thundering in his ears. At last, he sighs.]
It's not that I don't believe you.
[He lets those red eyes flutter closed a moment, trying to collect his thoughts.]
...Oz believed in me even back when I didn't believe in me. Even when I thought nobody could ever want someone cursed like me around. The kids didn't care, either, when they found out.
[He doesn't really think everyone in his life secretly hates him. His life has changed a lot since the days he grew up with the bandits. But that's not really the point, is it?]
I just...I didn't want you to know.
[Brothers, he sounds stupid. Qrow fiddles idly with the clover pin that hangs down from the chain at his neck.]
Everyone else, maybe they don't blame me, maybe nobody says anything, but we all know the accidents that happen when I'm around are probably my fault. I can't ever escape what I am, but with you...for a while I could pretend, you know? That I was just--normal.
[There's a pained note to his voice, there, and he looks away. It's selfish of him, he knows. Qrow is the sort of man who would abandon anything for his loved ones, but this is one weakness in his heart that he's always struggled with. There's another sigh, and it's more tired. He has lived with being what he is for as long as he can remember. He'd just wanted to be normal and free with one person, but it's still dishonest. He still hears Ruby in the back of his mind, asking why he couldn't trust her enough to travel alongside her, why he'd chosen to try to protect her from the shadows, instead.]
I should've told you sooner, but I wanted to keep that as long as I could.