[Paul doesn't believe Palamedes' seeming ambivalent acceptance not because he suspects some defect in his character, or even really because he isn't sure how death is handled in a society built on it. He doesn't believe Palamedes because Paul can't imagine a future for himself where he ever again feels anything but what he felt in the stilltent, like he's become the dying nuclear heart of a collapsing star: a gravity of vengeance rending the universe apart at its basic laws.
But that's the same kind of secret as Palamedes is keeping, one that's a someday. Paul will let the moment where they hung between them pass; he doesn't want to talk about any of it either. Besides, he can move on to a more straightforward kind of confusion. Palamedes is talking about him like - but of course, Paul realizes, he doesn't know.]
No. It's up to my shoulders in the arms, some in my lower legs. [He says, a neutral accounting of fact.] I think it stays with me because I'm doing most of the things that accelerate it here, or because it's integrated into my self-image.
I'm Bene Gesserit trained. I didn't tell you before. That's another thing. [Paul seems comfortable letting Palamedes turn his hand this way and that, as if he's used to being handled by professionals.] I didn't have all of my memories when I came here. I was waiting to see if they'd come back - they did - but I have to wonder if it's related to this. Apparently it's not uncommon for Sleepers first waking.
[He stops himself, mouth quirking up at the corner ruefully.] I'm trained to be able to monitor myself well, redirect and control circulatory functions. I shouldn't tell you any of this, by the way. The Sisterhood is protective of their secrets. But I don't think even they have agents this far out.
[And if they wanted him to keep their secrets, Paul thinks they shouldn't have already tried to kill him.]
I should have been able to keep this from happening at all. [His lighter tone drops a little again as he glances at his knuckles, but he rallies himself.] So it's been...educational.
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But that's the same kind of secret as Palamedes is keeping, one that's a someday. Paul will let the moment where they hung between them pass; he doesn't want to talk about any of it either. Besides, he can move on to a more straightforward kind of confusion. Palamedes is talking about him like - but of course, Paul realizes, he doesn't know.]
No. It's up to my shoulders in the arms, some in my lower legs. [He says, a neutral accounting of fact.] I think it stays with me because I'm doing most of the things that accelerate it here, or because it's integrated into my self-image.
I'm Bene Gesserit trained. I didn't tell you before. That's another thing. [Paul seems comfortable letting Palamedes turn his hand this way and that, as if he's used to being handled by professionals.] I didn't have all of my memories when I came here. I was waiting to see if they'd come back - they did - but I have to wonder if it's related to this. Apparently it's not uncommon for Sleepers first waking.
[He stops himself, mouth quirking up at the corner ruefully.] I'm trained to be able to monitor myself well, redirect and control circulatory functions. I shouldn't tell you any of this, by the way. The Sisterhood is protective of their secrets. But I don't think even they have agents this far out.
[And if they wanted him to keep their secrets, Paul thinks they shouldn't have already tried to kill him.]
I should have been able to keep this from happening at all. [His lighter tone drops a little again as he glances at his knuckles, but he rallies himself.] So it's been...educational.