o4 . february catchall

[necrolord]

Who: necrolord and you!
What: Local necromancer is networking. Archives research, healing for lockjoint and self-mutilation, and more.
When: February.
Where: Archives, Lumenwood, streets of Trench.

Content Warnings: Skeletons and mentions of the self-mutilation curse. Note all the usual warnings of this character.

(1) research.

You've probably seen him around, by now. The man is something of a fixture in the Archives: he settles at an unremarkable table and proceeds to drown it in open books, scattered pages, notes, journals. He seems intent on skimming his way through half the library. Sometimes there's a girl, scrawny and dour with her face painted up like a skull, hovering at his elbow. Today, he's on his own.

He doesn't look like much. Simple clothes; bare hands, which suggests he's either confident or reckless, in a town that will titter at anyone who doesn't wear gloves; he looks fortyish and plain. Only one thing about him is remarkable: his eyes, black as oil from edge to unpleasant edge.

Today, he's amassed an odd collection of vials, bloodstones, and shards of bone. You might catch the sudden reek of Beast blood, which is alarmingly toxic to handle even with gloves; you might catch him weighing a huge, inhuman bone in the palm of his hand, looking thoughtful. If he notices your attention, he'll speak without looking up.

"Six months, and I'm still trying to puzzle out the basics."

(2) the skeleton plow.

[ On the 9th, a blizzard blows in. It leaves the town blanketed in a heavy weight of snow, and Trenchies come out with shovels and resigned expressions to scrape the streets clear.

God, who has places to be, finds this a touch inconvenient. He's meant to be in Lumenwood just now, playing Jesus on everyone's frostbite and having a generally pleasant morning. So he claps his hands, watches a dozen skeletons claw their way free of the frozen earth and pop out of the snow ("like daisies," he says to whoever is nearest) and then sets off across town with his helpful new posse.

Each skeleton moves as smoothly and politely as a human servant, with a speck of red light in each empty eye. God makes a little gesture, like a conductor with an orchestra; his servants' fingerbones fuse and spread. Their arms distort and lengthen. They each now wield a broad bone scoop, which looks somewhere between silly and horrifying.

The skeleton army sets to work shoveling snow, heedless of appalled bystanders. ]

(3) healing.

[ Maybe you're still suffering from Lockjoint, Sleeper. Maybe you've begun scraping your own skin away under this month's curse, trying to resist temptation, trying to resist the urge to confess.

It doesn't matter whether all the damage is hidden by your clothing, or whether you think you're doing a good job of masking your pain. Today you're near the gates of Lumenwood - maybe to get help for your own issues, maybe not - and there is a man here, who has just waved away a grateful Trenchie making conversation. He turns, tips his head in hello, and considers you. ]

Want a hand with that?

(4) wildcard.

[ Happy to match formatting! ]

Comments

a lich plays dungeons and dragons. [OTA with Ford Pines]

[necrolord]

[ By this point in the afternoon, John's books and notes have been pushed aside. His collection of bone-bits and bloodstones and, occasionally, vials of deeply dangerous material have been carefully rearranged into the center of the table. Across from him sits an older man, grey-haired and stocky, in a long traveler's coat and glasses. They regard each other in silent, focused intensity, the air between them expectant.

The King Undying, Necrolord Prime, Scourge of Death, etc, reaches into the space between them. He picks up the vial of Beast blood, which roils unpleasantly in its glass confines.

Then he leans forward to set it down with a decisive click, onto... their haphazardly drawn grid. ]

Right, so. If I move here, that shouldn't provoke an attack of opportunity. [ He drums his inkstained fingers on the tabletop, intent as a man studying genuine battle plans. ] I have to be honest, swinging a sword has never been my forte, even in fiction. Can I cast a spell?

[cryptograms]

Right! That enemy has already used it's reaction for this round, so it's only the other one you need to worry about.

[ Ford, who has been contemplative and focused just a moment ago, brightens up like a child that's just been handed a puppy when John asks his question. It's always been a challenge to find people that want to play tabletop games with him, let alone someone that seems like they're actually invested in the rules and setting. ]

You have some spells on the back of your sheet. Using them isn't too different from melee attacks, but you need to be mindful of your range, line of sight, and remaining spell slots.

[frogfear]

[This is brand new to Willow too, and it's a safe bet that she's here more to hang out with Ford than anything else.

She leans forward over the table to study the grid carefully.]

I'll... use my range attack, I guess? To hit the other one? I should be able to hit him from here, right?

[necrolord]

[ He flips the sheet, skims it, snaps his fingers when he hits upon something suitably stylish. ]

Sacred Flame, then. On that fellow there.

[ He leans in to tap his forefinger on the glittering gem of bloodstone they're using to represent the bandit. This is normal. ]

I'll leave the other one in capable hands.

[cryptograms]

[ At Willow's question Ford checks the map, and then: ]

That's right. There's nothing in your way and you're more than close enough. Just be careful to not get too close.

[ And once he's walked her through the process of attacking and rolling damage and what AC even is, he turns his attention back to John and goes through the process of explaining saving throws and damage types, since that's relevant here, though it doesn't take him long to end up on a tangent. ]

Anyway, radiant damage doesn't do anything extra against undead creatures, even though most forms of it should given the way the world and mechanics of both are written. Apparently since 'radiant' is closer to 'radioactive' in a handful of spells they decided it was easiest to omit it entirely.

[ An action he finds especially annoying, given his tone and expression.

... Though he does remember something else relevant to Willow, and glances back to her. ]

You won't have to worry too often about piercing damage, at least. It's not a common resistance.

[frogfear]

[Willow would feel bad for Ford, trying to walk two novices through what feels like a particularly complicated game, but he genuinely seems to be enjoying himself. She can't help grinning as he goes on a bit of a rant about radiant damage, which absolutely sounds like it should do extra damage against undead.]

Okay, I've never played this before and even I know by definition radiant and radioactive are two really different things.

[She will absolutely back Ford on this. Radiant should have a bonus against the undead!]

[necrolord]

[ God simply nods, quite patiently, in the way of a guy who respects a man with a niche tirade but who does not personally care. ]

I'd argue skeletons and holy fire go hand in hand, where I'm from, so the ruling works for me.

[ Because Ford seems delighted about it every time, he does not reach for the little dice set that has been provided and still sits untouched. Instead, he makes Ford's own bloodstone die lift from the table and flick itself back down.

This is an important use of divine necromancy. ]

[cryptograms]

I'm not saying it never makes sense. It's just sloppy to allow such an obvious incongruity between the lore and the gameplay.

[ At least Willow has his back - and at least John is showing off some more of his necromancy-based tricks. Though that does remind him... ]

Willow and I both come from dimensions where necromantic practices and holy practices tend to be diametrically opposed - at least in regards to things like vampires. I take it it's different in yours?

[frogfear]

[Willow glances over as as their companion shows off his necromantic abilities and suppresses a sigh. Why is he like this. She glances between him and Ford for a moment and nods.]

Yeah, the most common threat for us at home is vampires, and they're pretty solidly in the evil undead category. Holy water and crosses will repel them, though.

[necrolord]

Evil undead is a very judgmental pairing of words.

[ Truly the statement of a normal guy you can trust. ]

Sounds like we missed out on vampires. We only go in for ghosts and a few good skeletons.

Trying to banish the skeletons with a holy symbol would not be advised.

[ It's truly a Herculean effort, saying this with a straight face. ]

[cryptograms]

[ Ford doesn't actually start trying to take notes, seeing as his journal is currently being used as a DM screen. But his expression and the way he nods along with John's explanation, however, both suggest that he would be were it not. ]

Zombies are more mindless than evil in my dimension, though ghosts tend to be more vicious. Vampires...

[ His tilts his hand in a non-committal wobble. ]

... they don't tend to cause problems. Whenever they came through Gravity Falls Stanley would sell them old TVs and Walkmans as miraculous technological advancements.

[ They were really more a risk to themselves, in a lot of way. To John, he asks: ]

Any holy symbol? Or just the most common of them?

[forwantofahorse]

Er... wouldn't it be better to provoke their attacks of opportunity here, actually? Judging from previous rounds, these enemies have more dangerous abilities to spend their reactions on...

[Sayo was watching from a distance, before gradually inching closer and closer (in a stealthy fashion) as the combat drew on. She'd heard of this D&D thing, and even thought it'd be fun to play, but this is... extremely different... from what she knows of it in 1980s Japan.]

[cryptograms]

[ Now there's an interruption that Ford wasn't expecting - largely because he's been engrossed enough in the game to not notice Sayo edging closer. He blinks, caught off guard, but only a moment later he's smiling again as he resumes his explanation for John. ]

That's right! Each character is limited to one reaction and one bonus action per round. If you have an idea of your DM's tactical preferences you can try to goad them into using one of the two on less potent options.

[ To Sayo, and in a tone of voice that's both approving and curious: ]

Well-spotted. Usually only somewhat advance players can pick up on nuances like that.

[necrolord]

[ John has, of course, been peripherally aware of their spectator; he's always working off more than just visual sight, when it comes to souls and bodies in the vicinity. When he turns to Sayo, it's with a good-natured eyebrow raise. ]

Sounds like we've found the tactician I need to win this one. [ He waves her closer, so she can come have a look at their cobbled-together battle mat. ] Or just someone decent at board games, which frankly I am not. I'll take the advice, then, and move this fellow over here.

[ He picks up the vial of Beast's blood, which is definitely a sensible thing to use as a game piece, and sets it down again with a click. To Sayo, he says: ]

Any other wisdom? We can gang up on him.

[ He flashes Ford an amused look to show he only slightly means it. ]

[forwantofahorse]

[Truth be told, Sayo only spoke up because it felt like she couldn't contain herself anymore—if the response from the two old men was any less receptive, she's be incredibly mortified rather than moderately mortified. She was ready to make her apologies for interrupting them and leave, but she blinks rapidly when they ask her to sit down instead, taken aback.]

U- Um... I'll do my best. I just have a talent for games, I guess...

[She awkwardly maneuvers herself into the seat next to John, folding her hands under her chin as she stares at the map with her brow furrowed.]

...I know the lava—or magma, since this is underground—is probably supposed to be set dressing, but... if you hop across it here and then use your lightning lure on this opponent, you could drag them right into the path of the magma. Even if that doesn't kill them, it should do incredible damage.

Right?

[cryptograms]

[ The thread of being ganged up on just makes Ford grin, even without the look to suggest John is only being half serious. He's not exactly going easy on John, but he's only played a few sessions with the other man. Ramping up the difficulty has been a gradual process, and perhaps it won't need to be so gradual anymore.

Ford nods when John changes his chosen move for the round and makes the corresponding attack roll - which misses anyway. His attention goes to Sayo next and her eventual conclusion gets another grin from him. ]

That's right. It'll open you up to fire from ranged attacks, but any creature that falls into the lava will take significant damage.

[necrolord]

[ She's clever. He budges over to allow her more room at the table, and passes her the player's guide in silent invitation. ]

We'll give it a try.

[ Once Ford has played out the enemy turn and rolled attacks— nothing dicey yet, but he's about to leave cover, so there's time for it to go downhill yet— he follows her advice. Jumps the lava-or-magma, checks the text for the cantrip, but with an addendum.

God clears his throat. He leans in, voice low and intent, and declares: ]

Squiddle, I choose you.

[ He turns to the DM. ]

I bowl my octopus familiar across the gap, and he veers into the enemy, which constitutes a Help action. I roll twice, eh?

[ Ford should never have let him build his own character. ]

1/2

[forwantofahorse]

[Sayo may not understand the reference, but she silently holds her hand up for John to hi-five regardless.]

2/2

[forwantofahorse]

[As the fight continues, Sayo pages through the player's handbook with great interest and almost superhuman speed—after cranking out almost a dozen hundred thousand word mystery novels over the course of a month, she's gotten very, very good at reading and writing at an alarming pace.

Her eyes light up when she reaches a page around midway through the classes section, and she asks,]

Er... would it be possible for me to join? This looks awfully fun.

[A pause.]

Oh, right, what should I call you? I just realized I was being rather impolite... [Sayo chuckles nervously.] You can call me Shannon.

[cryptograms]

[ Both of the references, perhaps fortunately, go right over Ford's head. He can only assume they are references because Sayo seems to understand them, but maybe she's just excited by the prospect of bowling a squid. It is, in her defense, an oddly charming prospect.

Ford nods at John's question about the Help action, though he only bothers to explain the process if John seems like he still needs the help - though Ford suspects he won't. He doesn't interrupt Sayo while she reads through the handbook, and he's not surprised when she eventually asks to join in. He'll glance to John to make sure he seems alright with the idea, but assuming there's no protests: ]

I don't see why not. This combat encounter is almost done so it's a good time to add a new character.

[ As for introductions: ]

Standford Pines, though you can call me Ford. It's good to meet you, Shannon.

[necrolord]

[ He high-fives her.

And silently adds another to his growing count of daughters. There is a lot going on there. ]

I find myself with an abundance of titles, but we've got a good pair right here. [ He holds up his sheet, which has Wizard - Necromancer in cramped and messy handwriting along the top. Beside him, Ford's bloodstone dice pick themselves up off the table and throw themselves neatly down for his rolls, because watching Ford Pines get excited about baby's first thalergetic tissue manipulation will never stop being funny. ] 'The Necromancer' is very stylish, I think. Very intuitive.

[ To Sayo, he adds warmly: ] I won't survive this dungeon long on my own. [ Debatable. ] Who are you adding?

[forwantofahorse]

[There is absolutely nothing strange going on behind the curtain, John. Pay no attention to how one part of Sayo's soul is partitioned off, hollowed out, and twisted with blood magic toward a singular purpose.

Her eyebrows raised (which is slightly more dignified than the excited gawk she clearly wants to have) at the dice rolling themselves, and contents herself instead with the good ol' fashioned tactile rolling of 4d6 drop one six times.]

Oath of Vengeance Paladin. It seems like a blast to play, and would certainly make up for some of your weaknesses, Necromancer.

[onekindsoul]

[Don't mind Ruby as she butts in here.]

Yes! But only if you use your bonus action to cast shadow blade! AND THEN SWING YOUR SWORD AT THEM!

[cryptograms]

[ Well, he act always count on Ruby to be extremely enthusiastic about anything that bears even the slightest resemblance to goofing off. ]

Well, you'll have advantage on attack rolls with that one, since we're in dim lighting. It requires staying in melee range, though.

[necrolord]

[ God considers this, very seriously. He weighs his options. Then he relents. ]

I can see I've been overruled. So: this one time, I shall try to swing a sword. Don't tell Harrow.

[ Harrow being the scrawny and dour skull-painted girl sometimes seen hovering a reverent half-step behind him. She has probably vanished today because of the board game, which is really her loss.

God moves his little vial of Beast blood, then picks up Ford's bloodstone dice— not with his hands, obviously, it's not often you get to use divine necromancy for game night parlor tricks and it's still funny— and promptly rolls a pair of 1s. He blinks down at his result, somewhere between amusement and despair. ]