[ Kainé knows, all too well, that she's far from the only person that's gone through hell. Not the only person forced to bear grief and desolation, to have their bodies and souls warped. It is the case for Anna too. And for that android who is also Anna. Kainé is a tremendously empathetic soul, but she rarely spares the same kindness for herself. And so she usually holds herself apart even from those she cares deeply about. She's the filthy one. She's the only one who needs to bear her suffering.
But... little by little, there are moments that have changed that. Emil certainly did. Even Weiss. And Anna... it's because she was able to so decisively take hold of Kainé's heart that the fear of betrayal, of being used and tossed aside as something not worth really caring about, are so great. ]
I barely know what any of that stuff means. [ She has a rough idea, though. ] I just want all us freaks and abominations and sad run-down bitches to live. To not hate their lives so much, even if its just a little.
[ But little by little, she starts to calm, as some of that agonizing curse is cleared away. There are still secrets, still desires boiling in her heart but... she feels a little safer, if she needs to reveal them. ]
...I know this damn curse has got us by the throats. I don't hate you wanting me. [ Sidelong, she meets Anna's eye before looking off into the distance again. ] But I... thought that maybe that's all you want from me after all. If that's you confessing. That I'm just a cheap lay. A replacement. And you'll just throw me away, sooner or later, when you find a better one. I mean, who wouldn't?
[ Even as she says that, with a bitter laugh, her hand tentatively ventures out, resting over Anna's. Rough with callouses, a hard life of fighting and toiling. Her heart pounds wildly. This isn't easy. But if they're already here... well, they need to get rid of this curse anyway. And she wants to be with her so badly. She can't pretend that she doesn't. ]
I... want to matter more than that. I want you to understand me. But I don't know... if I deserve that.
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But... little by little, there are moments that have changed that. Emil certainly did. Even Weiss. And Anna... it's because she was able to so decisively take hold of Kainé's heart that the fear of betrayal, of being used and tossed aside as something not worth really caring about, are so great. ]
I barely know what any of that stuff means. [ She has a rough idea, though. ] I just want all us freaks and abominations and sad run-down bitches to live. To not hate their lives so much, even if its just a little.
[ But little by little, she starts to calm, as some of that agonizing curse is cleared away. There are still secrets, still desires boiling in her heart but... she feels a little safer, if she needs to reveal them. ]
...I know this damn curse has got us by the throats. I don't hate you wanting me. [ Sidelong, she meets Anna's eye before looking off into the distance again. ] But I... thought that maybe that's all you want from me after all. If that's you confessing. That I'm just a cheap lay. A replacement. And you'll just throw me away, sooner or later, when you find a better one. I mean, who wouldn't?
[ Even as she says that, with a bitter laugh, her hand tentatively ventures out, resting over Anna's. Rough with callouses, a hard life of fighting and toiling. Her heart pounds wildly. This isn't easy. But if they're already here... well, they need to get rid of this curse anyway. And she wants to be with her so badly. She can't pretend that she doesn't. ]
I... want to matter more than that. I want you to understand me. But I don't know... if I deserve that.