Deer Country Mod (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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deercountry2022-02-10 09:06 am
reddosmod) wrote in deercountry2022-02-10 09:06 amEntry tags:
reddosmod) wrote in deercountry2022-02-10 09:06 am
I had 2 hit this back.............
So his mouth opens at that, looking a little stunned. Oh... okay yeah, it would be... dumb for him to sleep on the sofa. It's not like there's only one room in this whole house. But quickly enough, he's moving past that and into what Luna says next. Because it's.... it's a lot. And Peter's staring at her, brows knit, a sad frown slowly tugging his mouth downward. This is weird, and difficult, and he's sad and scared, and of course, of course, so is she. As always, seeing Luna's upset shifts something within Peter. He slowly moves back over to his bed to sit down, patting the space beside him to invite her to sit with him. )
I know this is... weird. I'm sorry this is happening to you. ( Peter bites his lip for a moment, thoughtful. )
I know this isn't the same thing as what you're dealing with, but ever since I got, uh... possessed, sometimes I don't feel like myself. ( It's an extremely rare time he even says the p-word aloud. )
Like... I'll look down at my hand or something, and have this thought. That's not really my hand. That's not really me. Or... I just feel so.... so out of place in my own body. Too big... too small... not enough, but sometimes also too much?
( This probably isn't anything that Luna doesn't already know. She's been right there with him through most of it, had to coax him back to himself countless times. But... he sounds it out, because even if it's very different from what she's experiencing, there are parts to it that feel relatable.
Peter glances over at her, and then slowly reaches for one of her hands. Shyly at first, and with the awareness it doesn't fit quite the same way anymore — he has to adjust his fingers in a slightly different way to fit hers, but after a moment, he finds how. )
Even when I'm... feeling weird about myself, you see me. You know I'm still there. It's like that for me, too. You do look different, and feel different, but.... I know it's you. I can tell by looking at your eyes. ( He looks up at them now, the familiar pale blues. Studies them for a long moment, really studies them, looking in. )
....Yeah. I see you. ( Peter gives a little smile, and her hand a little squeeze. ) It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside. You're still my Luna. If you're okay with me staying, I want to stay with you.
maybe wrap here, unless you wanna write a thing?
She's quiet for a long while as he talks. It's true, she knows how much Peter struggles with existing as someone who's possessed — when she's had to bring him back to himself, when he feels strange and frightened. It's not often that Peter addresses it all like this, out loud. Luna never presses him to, she's just there for him when he needs her. And while it's not exactly the same, his words strike her — he does understand it. Not feeling like himself. This strange feeling of otherness in one's own body. That something isn't quite right.
There's a soft exhale, her eyebrows raising and pinching a little as she looks across at him. She knows she's still her, but she doesn't fit within herself as she should.
Peter knows how that feels.
She lets him take her hand, her gaze falling down towards them. It's strange, hers doesn't feel the same. The way he holds it is different. But Peter's hand still feels the same, and there's something comforting in that. In how he tries to make it work even if it is all so strange and wrong in her. I know it's you. I can tell by looking at your eyes. Her gaze lifts again from their hands to meet his, and she looks at her — much like she's done so many time for him. When she's searched for him (or even Paimon) in amongst the darkness of them. She smiles when he does, exhaling a little.
It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside. You're still my Luna.
Perhaps she needed to hear that. For someone who's so confident in herself, in who she is, and in her relation with him — the first time where she's suddenly felt so unsure of it all because of this change has... really quite hit her hard. It's sent her reeling. She's needed to hear that, to remind herself. To assure herself again. Luna inhales shakily, her eyes feeling glossy for a moment as emotion swells up inside of her. It's... a great deal. But it soon passes with a few wet blinks, a warm smile slowly spreading across her mouth. ]
... Alright. [ She feels a little shaky about the thought; not quite nervous, but something quite like it. But she does feel more comfortable with the idea of it, comforted by his words. She might not be how she's meant to be but she's still Luna. His Luna. And he's alright with staying with her. Gently, she squeezes his hand back and nods a little. She loves him very much, and she's grateful for the comfort, for the assurance. With another little nod, and then makes a little sound of a mix of amusement and nervousness. ]
I don't know if I can— [ There's a slightly awkward pause, her brow furrowing slightly for a long moment. As if not quite sure how to word it. ]
Getting close feels a bit too much—? [ Sleeping beside him is alright, she wants that. She means getting too close, the kind of sleep that ends up with the two of them tangled up in one another — quite close. That seems... a bit much for her right now, considering. When she's not feeling quite herself. She knows Peter's alright with her being like this, but this whole shift in her appearance is a bit jarring. ... baby steps are needed. ]
But... holding hands is alright.
[ Holding hands is always safe. Even like this. ]