It could have been any number of people, honestly. Maul has made a lot of enemies, especially recently. He doesn't say anything after that. He lets Maul carry on, focusing on his work. Despite how very angry he is, he doesn't show it in his work. His hands move deftly and carefully, getting the internal wirings back into working order- occasionally pulling out his welding torch to get pieces of metal into place.
With all his work, he does listen. He doesn't interrupt, doesn't look up from his work, doesn't even make any noise of assent in the whole speech. Even when Maul finishes, he lets the silence linger between them, heavy and uncomfortable.
"You keep telling me this, Maul," he says, still working. "You - you keep telling me that you're going to do better, that you'll learn and work on what you've been shown and you never do. You last maybe about a month if we're lucky, and then you're right back to your old habits and you look surprised when we get upset about you at it. Like being hurt and angry that you've backslid, again and again, is somehow on us."
He picks up a screwdriver, working some screws into a knee joint.
"You are actively destroying the people around you. Once or twice is a slip-up, but at this point, it's looking like you're doing it on purpose. You call it self sabotage and that- that is what it is, but you're going to drag all of us down with you while you go."
He finally looks up at him, the hurt clear in his eyes, that he's been trying to hide as he worked.
"I just- look at Reaper. Not only did you tell someone else you loved them but you then went and bonded with that person while Reaper was trying to process that. You literally chose to make it worse. No one forced you to do that, no one held you at gunpoint. You just decided to take care of your own needs and screw Reaper's feelings. If you actually loved him, you wouldn't have done that to him."
He isn't done, he keeps working and despite how angry his tone is, his hand movements are still gentle. He doesn't let his hurt interfere with his work.
"And Usagi, do you not- do you not understand how badly you've hurt her? How many old hurts you've triggered in her. When you split up you- you kept her captive, treated her like she was an object, and okay, sure that wasn't all on you but have you apologised to her for it? Do you even realise what awful memories you pulled out of her when you did that? No. You just keep using her and she will never, ever draw a line under you because that's who she is. She'll let you keep using her until there's nothing left."
He starts moving onto the lower leg, fixing it up, bit by bit, in a way he's not sure his and Maul's relationship can be. He's not convinced this can be mended any more. He wants to believe it, but things are becoming clearer and clearer to him that Maul's real priorities aren't what he says they are.
"Fern's so beyond done with you because all he's known from people like you is being lied to and let down. The fact he gave you a second chance at all is an absolute miracle and you actively chose to flush that down the toilet," and now Fern is anxious and angry that Varian is here at all, a buzzing in the back of his mind. "And I'm still trying desperately to heal from my corruption and instead of being able to take time for myself and feel better, I get to feel awful because apparently, I'm the babysitter of a fully grown man who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions. Someone who's making me question- making me question everything I thought I knew about my own redemption and self-worth. "
He stops, just for a moment, something tight in his chest wrenching painfully. He's put so much
"You just- you just poison everyone who's stupid enough to love you. And you don't care that you're doing it because if you did, you'd stop."
no subject
It could have been any number of people, honestly. Maul has made a lot of enemies, especially recently. He doesn't say anything after that. He lets Maul carry on, focusing on his work. Despite how very angry he is, he doesn't show it in his work. His hands move deftly and carefully, getting the internal wirings back into working order- occasionally pulling out his welding torch to get pieces of metal into place.
With all his work, he does listen. He doesn't interrupt, doesn't look up from his work, doesn't even make any noise of assent in the whole speech. Even when Maul finishes, he lets the silence linger between them, heavy and uncomfortable.
"You keep telling me this, Maul," he says, still working. "You - you keep telling me that you're going to do better, that you'll learn and work on what you've been shown and you never do. You last maybe about a month if we're lucky, and then you're right back to your old habits and you look surprised when we get upset about you at it. Like being hurt and angry that you've backslid, again and again, is somehow on us."
He picks up a screwdriver, working some screws into a knee joint.
"You are actively destroying the people around you. Once or twice is a slip-up, but at this point, it's looking like you're doing it on purpose. You call it self sabotage and that- that is what it is, but you're going to drag all of us down with you while you go."
He finally looks up at him, the hurt clear in his eyes, that he's been trying to hide as he worked.
"I just- look at Reaper. Not only did you tell someone else you loved them but you then went and bonded with that person while Reaper was trying to process that. You literally chose to make it worse. No one forced you to do that, no one held you at gunpoint. You just decided to take care of your own needs and screw Reaper's feelings. If you actually loved him, you wouldn't have done that to him."
He isn't done, he keeps working and despite how angry his tone is, his hand movements are still gentle. He doesn't let his hurt interfere with his work.
"And Usagi, do you not- do you not understand how badly you've hurt her? How many old hurts you've triggered in her. When you split up you- you kept her captive, treated her like she was an object, and okay, sure that wasn't all on you but have you apologised to her for it? Do you even realise what awful memories you pulled out of her when you did that? No. You just keep using her and she will never, ever draw a line under you because that's who she is. She'll let you keep using her until there's nothing left."
He starts moving onto the lower leg, fixing it up, bit by bit, in a way he's not sure his and Maul's relationship can be. He's not convinced this can be mended any more. He wants to believe it, but things are becoming clearer and clearer to him that Maul's real priorities aren't what he says they are.
"Fern's so beyond done with you because all he's known from people like you is being lied to and let down. The fact he gave you a second chance at all is an absolute miracle and you actively chose to flush that down the toilet," and now Fern is anxious and angry that Varian is here at all, a buzzing in the back of his mind. "And I'm still trying desperately to heal from my corruption and instead of being able to take time for myself and feel better, I get to feel awful because apparently, I'm the babysitter of a fully grown man who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions. Someone who's making me question- making me question everything I thought I knew about my own redemption and self-worth. "
He stops, just for a moment, something tight in his chest wrenching painfully. He's put so much
"You just- you just poison everyone who's stupid enough to love you. And you don't care that you're doing it because if you did, you'd stop."