[It was only yesterday when Sayo took several hundred megatons of military-grade explosives to her relationships with Jessica, Ange, and everyone who made the mistake of caring about her at the Clockhouse. The wound is still open, seeping black bile into every crevice of her being.
"Don't hate him for thinking you were worth saving."
Sea salt pours into the gaping hole at those words, and Sayo physically recoils from them, at the agony of being seen and accepted despite it all. She didn't deserve it. She was a monster, she was furniture, she was-
She was thinking those exact thoughts when she made the decision to kill sixteen people unless a miracle occurred.
(Salt rubbed in a wound may sting, but it also purifies.)
If Sayo kept on spiraling this path of self-hatred, of solipsistic loathing, would it all happen again? Would she come to loathe everything that Trench had given her with its twisted generosity, the new life she'd lived?
You don't need to deserve forgiveness to receive it anyways.
She needs to try and make herself believe that, in the coming days. Sayo wipes her tears, sniffling.]
...in that world, I was Beatrice. The Golden and Endless Witch. It was the only part of my "self" that remained after how badly I had fractured my soul to suit my own purposes.
And Beatrice "existed" there too. She is the Endless Witch, one who governs the return and passing between life and death. In Forneus's abyss, no one could truly die. It was an eternal war, where after dying you would return to life after a short time.
So Beatrice "existed" in the rules of that world. It was still malleable, based on dreams and nightmares and the stories Forneus told himself. Which meant I could impose Beatrice's story onto it.
[Hopefully Paul and Kaworu are able to follow all this low-concept metanarrative bullshit. It may be Sayo's expertise, but it might be a little more difficult for anyone who wasn't crazy in the same way as her to parse.]
Here's how it goes. Over the course of a single day, a ritual sacrifice is conducted to resurrect Beatrice. At the end, when Beatrice is returned, she has the power to end the world and create a paradise in its place. The story ends there. The gameboard is packed up, the players are set free. For another game, hypothetically, but in this case a reckoning can be postponed indefinitely, and Forneus can return to Trench.
[She snorts.]
Of course, it's not as simple as that. The thirteen sacrifices can't be anybody. They have to be "named characters within the story." Important people with the power to influence the narrative.
As you can imagine, knocking off thirteen of them in a single day was a tall order for a weakened and half-Corrupt bird and a barely-present witch.
no subject
"Don't hate him for thinking you were worth saving."
Sea salt pours into the gaping hole at those words, and Sayo physically recoils from them, at the agony of being seen and accepted despite it all. She didn't deserve it. She was a monster, she was furniture, she was-
She was thinking those exact thoughts when she made the decision to kill sixteen people unless a miracle occurred.
(Salt rubbed in a wound may sting, but it also purifies.)
If Sayo kept on spiraling this path of self-hatred, of solipsistic loathing, would it all happen again? Would she come to loathe everything that Trench had given her with its twisted generosity, the new life she'd lived?
Beatrice rails against her, insisting she doesn't deserve forgiveness. And she's right, she doesn't. What Sayo has done, the future that she condemned Ange to, the past she irrevocably tainted for Jessica, cannot be undone. But she's reminded of the essence of Kainé's words, their tearstained conversations with one another as they saw too much of themselves reflected in the other:
You don't need to deserve forgiveness to receive it anyways.
She needs to try and make herself believe that, in the coming days. Sayo wipes her tears, sniffling.]
...in that world, I was Beatrice. The Golden and Endless Witch. It was the only part of my "self" that remained after how badly I had fractured my soul to suit my own purposes.
And Beatrice "existed" there too. She is the Endless Witch, one who governs the return and passing between life and death. In Forneus's abyss, no one could truly die. It was an eternal war, where after dying you would return to life after a short time.
So Beatrice "existed" in the rules of that world. It was still malleable, based on dreams and nightmares and the stories Forneus told himself. Which meant I could impose Beatrice's story onto it.
[Hopefully Paul and Kaworu are able to follow all this low-concept metanarrative bullshit. It may be Sayo's expertise, but it might be a little more difficult for anyone who wasn't crazy in the same way as her to parse.]
Here's how it goes. Over the course of a single day, a ritual sacrifice is conducted to resurrect Beatrice. At the end, when Beatrice is returned, she has the power to end the world and create a paradise in its place. The story ends there. The gameboard is packed up, the players are set free. For another game, hypothetically, but in this case a reckoning can be postponed indefinitely, and Forneus can return to Trench.
[She snorts.]
Of course, it's not as simple as that. The thirteen sacrifices can't be anybody. They have to be "named characters within the story." Important people with the power to influence the narrative.
As you can imagine, knocking off thirteen of them in a single day was a tall order for a weakened and half-Corrupt bird and a barely-present witch.