[Dito shrugs.] We typically used dead sea sponges. Our stronghold was close to the ocean, so those things used to wash ashore pretty regularly. Never heard of a type of paper specifically designated for wiping your ass-- seems like a waste. Not to mention messy and painful.

Speakin' of painful messes, I never really had a chance to rip through my mistress's little followers. Someone else-- my new mistress, in fact-- had that particular privilege. Wish I could've seen it. I heard the screams from outside and... hhhh--

[He pauses to indulge in a shiver of pleasure.]

Sounded like a real bloodbath.