((blanket cw for drinking and drugs. there will probably also be gay shit in one way or another but that's not a cw so much as a goal.))

a. here comes the last of my bad days [drinking]

[it has been a while since anna's been invited to a party like this. she doesn't remember how to fit in without indulging herself, and even if she's friends with a lot of people and brought kainé along with her, she still feels. awkward. when she doesn't at least have a beer in her hand. come on, girl, you just went for drinks with—well, maybe don't share that part, but you should be better at this by now.]

Hey. What's up. How do you know the birthday boy?

[good work, completely sober anna. talk about him like he's eight. all right, fine, just let the night go on a little longer. once it has and she's sitting around with a few beers inside her, she feels a lot more at home. whether she's messing around with drinking games, from the wet and wild world of kings cup to the occasional round of spin the bottle, she's having a much better time. catch her singing along to songs that she recognizes, whether they're actually playing or not, and coming up to people she knows and slinging her arm around their shoulder.]

Hey, dude, how's it going? How you liking the party so far? Feels like I'm back in college. [she laughs just a little stupidly every time she says it. there's no way this is what her college life was like. she was never this cool.] C'mon, let's go do something fun together.

b. i hear 'em say "get your soul in shape" [fully crossfaded and vibing]

[the amount of spice that anna is on is wholly unconscionable. it started with doing a rail of it off of paul's table. she was told she was meant to eat it, and the other doses to get her to where she is now, she did eat. because holy shit, that stuff burned. but she hears about space drugs and she feels like she needs to really commit to the party, and besides, this is a safe space and she's pretty happy already.]

[she's found a quiet place to ride this euphoria out and try to commune with the other soul inside of her. the noises of the party are too loud and it feels like she's getting flooded with emotions if she stays with everybody. right now, then, she's on the fringes, outside, all but spread out on the grass and looking upward at the sky. she's muttering to herself as she stares with her hand curled up against her chest.]

You still there, girl? You still holding up...? I don't know if you can see what I'm doing out here. Not until Teacher takes a look at us. [even drunk and high, she won't speak someone's true name.] 'm making a life here. Building it brick by brick. Got a house, got a girlfriend, got people I care about... hope it's something that's good for you. Hope I've been listening to you and giving you the stuff you really want. 'Cause I love you and I wouldn't be where I am without you.

[she's talking louder than she should be and knows someone's going to overhear. or maybe someone came out to join her specifically. either way, she does sound and feel like she's at peace. like she means each word she's saying to this mysterious A2 of hers.]

c. i tell myself that can't be that [wildcard]

((listen, anna's just getting messed up at this party and letting down her guard all over the place. anything you're interested in exploring with that, go for it. she just wants to have a good time. hit me up here or on roseward if you got any ideas or just fire away and we'll roll!!))