Because it is true. Any other way you find could be less suited, and you will return to this. [viktor answers like he's sure of it. a fact of life, goals aren't discarded so easily, obsessions even less so. at least pal's goals are as noble as they are unhinged. that's more than he can say for most, himself included.
pal's hand is in his hair though, and ah right, that's always been a bit of a weakness. he assumed merely the heated tugging or grabbing but no, as it turns out just this is somehow more than any of that. he needs to swallow again against it, fighting tooth and nail now for composure against what feels like a continued attack. stubborn, relentless bastard, of course a man who speaks so intently about killing god would be.
he can still vividly remember the first time pal told him as much, the odd elation that bubbled in viktor's chest he couldn't stomp down quickly enough. thinking damnable things like if anyone could pull it off it would be this clever man.
still, he can handle it all well enough with just passing cracks- don't turn away from me gets an added tightness to his jaw, i won't hurt you to do it has him going stock still. it's manageable until pal asks him that, and he can't just... lie. he hasn't with pal, he's never wanted to. he's never needed to. pal's never forced his hand in that regard one way or another.
he's pretty sure pal's never really lied to him either. it's something he pretends is a benefit of their partnership and not profound.]
Of course it does! [viktor finally hisses, and ah there it goes, it's all coming up an ugly mess that's making his eyes leak damningly at the corners, that kind where he's refusing to blink because otherwise the tears will start falling in earnest and he can't-] You- how could it not? How does it not frighten you? Look at what caring has done, you're ready to rip yourself into pieces at the basest level!
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pal's hand is in his hair though, and ah right, that's always been a bit of a weakness. he assumed merely the heated tugging or grabbing but no, as it turns out just this is somehow more than any of that. he needs to swallow again against it, fighting tooth and nail now for composure against what feels like a continued attack. stubborn, relentless bastard, of course a man who speaks so intently about killing god would be.
he can still vividly remember the first time pal told him as much, the odd elation that bubbled in viktor's chest he couldn't stomp down quickly enough. thinking damnable things like if anyone could pull it off it would be this clever man.
still, he can handle it all well enough with just passing cracks- don't turn away from me gets an added tightness to his jaw, i won't hurt you to do it has him going stock still. it's manageable until pal asks him that, and he can't just... lie. he hasn't with pal, he's never wanted to. he's never needed to. pal's never forced his hand in that regard one way or another.
he's pretty sure pal's never really lied to him either. it's something he pretends is a benefit of their partnership and not profound.]
Of course it does! [viktor finally hisses, and ah there it goes, it's all coming up an ugly mess that's making his eyes leak damningly at the corners, that kind where he's refusing to blink because otherwise the tears will start falling in earnest and he can't-] You- how could it not? How does it not frighten you? Look at what caring has done, you're ready to rip yourself into pieces at the basest level!