[It's a different kiss than they usually do, though not in a bad way at all. It's tender and soft, and says so many things all at once. It carries different emotions with it that Ryan could never have pinpointed before Trench but now feel so intuitive.
He loves Min so much in this moment. In every moment of course, but especially this one.
So...it's a little jarring when he pulls back and apologizes, but Ryan falls quiet and listens.
He's fairly sure Min did apologize for at least some of this, though now he's second guessing that - did he just assume they were good? Has Min still been carrying that guilt all this time? But he goes on and the pieces slide together more easily.
Still, even though he's listening, he can't help sending out his own thoughts to Min as he stares at the number on his hand, unknowingly echoing Min. "It's not real."
Much of these confessions are things Ryan has not been worrying about at all, but...some are. Some needed to be said, and it makes it harder to blanket insist that he doesn't have to be sorry for everything. A little more credit when he's actually paying attention would be nice now and then.
He remembers a talk with Shiro, about how the people who care about them want to know when things are wrong, and how impossible that had seemed at the time. But sitting here with Min reminds him of all of his own reasons for wanting to do better.
But the real question is, can he actually articulate them? Who's to say?]
I...get what you're saying, but dude, I don't want you walking around thinking you've been a total monster to me? You really, really haven't. I definitely haven't always treated you well either though, and-- I'm sorry for that.
[He squeezes Min's hand, both to reassure him and for his own support.]
I'm not great at, you know. ...Talking my shit out. So I'm sorry too, if I've left you...I dunno, worrying? Or wondering? Especially when you've already got a lot to worry about as it is.
[He shouldn't have to wonder if Ryan is hiding stuff on top of whatever dozen things they have to deal with seasonally.]
But...we're trying? And I think we're getting there. Slowly. That's gotta count for something, right?
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He loves Min so much in this moment. In every moment of course, but especially this one.
So...it's a little jarring when he pulls back and apologizes, but Ryan falls quiet and listens.
He's fairly sure Min did apologize for at least some of this, though now he's second guessing that - did he just assume they were good? Has Min still been carrying that guilt all this time? But he goes on and the pieces slide together more easily.
Still, even though he's listening, he can't help sending out his own thoughts to Min as he stares at the number on his hand, unknowingly echoing Min. "It's not real."
Much of these confessions are things Ryan has not been worrying about at all, but...some are. Some needed to be said, and it makes it harder to blanket insist that he doesn't have to be sorry for everything. A little more credit when he's actually paying attention would be nice now and then.
He remembers a talk with Shiro, about how the people who care about them want to know when things are wrong, and how impossible that had seemed at the time. But sitting here with Min reminds him of all of his own reasons for wanting to do better.
But the real question is, can he actually articulate them? Who's to say?]
I...get what you're saying, but dude, I don't want you walking around thinking you've been a total monster to me? You really, really haven't. I definitely haven't always treated you well either though, and-- I'm sorry for that.
[He squeezes Min's hand, both to reassure him and for his own support.]
I'm not great at, you know. ...Talking my shit out. So I'm sorry too, if I've left you...I dunno, worrying? Or wondering? Especially when you've already got a lot to worry about as it is.
[He shouldn't have to wonder if Ryan is hiding stuff on top of whatever dozen things they have to deal with seasonally.]
But...we're trying? And I think we're getting there. Slowly. That's gotta count for something, right?