[Ryan's intention was to leave and go back to Shiro's, but as soon as he was out the door he could feel himself coming apart at the seams. If he went back right now, literally anyone who looked at him would ask him what was wrong, and he has no idea how to answer that question.
Honestly, he doesn't know if he did the right thing. Maybe that's why he's sitting on Min's front step, curled up in a ball with his head on his knees. He can't quite bring himself to just...leave him.
"You Ļ̕͜͞E̷̷̡͘F̴̛T̶́͟͞͠ me!"
He doesn't want to. God, he's such a shitty fucking person for doing it, for ditching Min when he obviously needs him, but he literally almost stabbed himself to prove a point, and he can't take care of Min if Min's going to drive him to corrupt again...can he?
Except, none of that was Min-Gi's fault. Ryan should be able to tough it out, he should be able to help Min without losing his shit, and if he can't? Then that's just h͡i̡̛s̡͡͞ ̴̨f̨̀a̸̸̧̡͞ų̧̨́l̸̨҉͟t̸͟͟͡, isn't it? Is he really just going to be a baby about knives forever? This is a world full of blood. Maybe...
This was supposed to be easier than it's been. He literally just told Min he wants to be with him forever like, a few days ago, and he fucking stormed out.
God. Ryan is the worst. He's sure he's the worst. He's the w̵̴̧͘͟ó̶͠r̶̷̸͡s͏t̢̢͞͠͏ ̸̶h̢̕͢͡ę̧̛͟'̧̧̕s̨̨̕͢͠ ͏̴͢t̀͠h̷́ȩ̨̀ ̛̀͢͡w̵͘o̸͘͘͜r̢̕͜͟s̷͟t̛҉ ̸̡́͟͜h̡́͘e̴̴̶͜͡'̴̵͘s͢͏͞ ͢͡g̨͡͝a̷͜͠͠r̛͟b̷̡́a̵̵̢͢g̨̕͏e͏̴͟͞ ͏̵̢͏̷h̀̀̕͘͡e͘͟'̴͢͟s̨̀̀͠͝ ̵͟͠͠͡a͘͡͡҉ ͡͝t̸͟͜ę̴̨͟͡r̴ŗ̧̛i̡͡҉̢b͘͢͜͜͞ĺ̴̵͢e̢̢͜͠ ̨͘b̸͡ó̸͟͟y͟͜f̸̴̕r̢͟͡i͏͟e͠͞͠҉ņ̷̧͡͠d̵̛.҉̸́͜͠
How could he do this to Min again?
He hears the door open, but he doesn't look up right away. Every bit of energy is spent trying to hit the brakes on all of these thoughts so Min doesn't have to deal with them on top of his own shit.
Finally, he sits up a little, and rubs at his eyes under his glasses. He totally wasn't crying; he's fine. But...he doesn't turn around to look at Min either. His voice sounds a little watery.]
...I haven't yet, but we need to.
[It doesn't sound like a threat or an ultimatum, despite how he brought it up initially. It's just an unfortunate reality of the situation. Ryan takes a deep breath, and it's painfully obvious this isn't what he wants either.]
You won't be able to play your synth with claws. You...know that, right?
[Deep down, Min has to know that, even if he's not thinking clearly. Even if he hasn't let himself go there.]
Your corruption seemed a little better after that whole wormhole pocket thing, so I thought it would just, you know...but it's getting worse, man.
[It's getting worse, and Ryan doesn't know what to do about it. He doesn't know if there's anything he can do about it, and that's even worse somehow. Min helped him so much and he can't even return the--
No, he has to stop. He has to stop or it'll leak out of his head in static and Min will hear it. Min's...sick. He can't do that do him right now.]
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Honestly, he doesn't know if he did the right thing. Maybe that's why he's sitting on Min's front step, curled up in a ball with his head on his knees. He can't quite bring himself to just...leave him.
"You Ļ̕͜͞E̷̷̡͘F̴̛T̶́͟͞͠ me!"
He doesn't want to. God, he's such a shitty fucking person for doing it, for ditching Min when he obviously needs him, but he literally almost stabbed himself to prove a point, and he can't take care of Min if Min's going to drive him to corrupt again...can he?
Except, none of that was Min-Gi's fault. Ryan should be able to tough it out, he should be able to help Min without losing his shit, and if he can't? Then that's just h͡i̡̛s̡͡͞ ̴̨f̨̀a̸̸̧̡͞ų̧̨́l̸̨҉͟t̸͟͟͡, isn't it? Is he really just going to be a baby about knives forever? This is a world full of blood. Maybe...
This was supposed to be easier than it's been. He literally just told Min he wants to be with him forever like, a few days ago, and he fucking stormed out.
God. Ryan is the worst. He's sure he's the worst. He's the w̵̴̧͘͟ó̶͠r̶̷̸͡s͏t̢̢͞͠͏ ̸̶h̢̕͢͡ę̧̛͟'̧̧̕s̨̨̕͢͠ ͏̴͢t̀͠h̷́ȩ̨̀ ̛̀͢͡w̵͘o̸͘͘͜r̢̕͜͟s̷͟t̛҉ ̸̡́͟͜h̡́͘e̴̴̶͜͡'̴̵͘s͢͏͞ ͢͡g̨͡͝a̷͜͠͠r̛͟b̷̡́a̵̵̢͢g̨̕͏e͏̴͟͞ ͏̵̢͏̷h̀̀̕͘͡e͘͟'̴͢͟s̨̀̀͠͝ ̵͟͠͠͡a͘͡͡҉ ͡͝t̸͟͜ę̴̨͟͡r̴ŗ̧̛i̡͡҉̢b͘͢͜͜͞ĺ̴̵͢e̢̢͜͠ ̨͘b̸͡ó̸͟͟y͟͜f̸̴̕r̢͟͡i͏͟e͠͞͠҉ņ̷̧͡͠d̵̛.҉̸́͜͠
How could he do this to Min again?
He hears the door open, but he doesn't look up right away. Every bit of energy is spent trying to hit the brakes on all of these thoughts so Min doesn't have to deal with them on top of his own shit.
Finally, he sits up a little, and rubs at his eyes under his glasses. He totally wasn't crying; he's fine. But...he doesn't turn around to look at Min either. His voice sounds a little watery.]
...I haven't yet, but we need to.
[It doesn't sound like a threat or an ultimatum, despite how he brought it up initially. It's just an unfortunate reality of the situation. Ryan takes a deep breath, and it's painfully obvious this isn't what he wants either.]
You won't be able to play your synth with claws. You...know that, right?
[Deep down, Min has to know that, even if he's not thinking clearly. Even if he hasn't let himself go there.]
Your corruption seemed a little better after that whole wormhole pocket thing, so I thought it would just, you know...but it's getting worse, man.
[It's getting worse, and Ryan doesn't know what to do about it. He doesn't know if there's anything he can do about it, and that's even worse somehow. Min helped him so much and he can't even return the--
No, he has to stop. He has to stop or it'll leak out of his head in static and Min will hear it. Min's...sick. He can't do that do him right now.]