deercountry | Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck

[There's a long pause of quiet between them as Min-Gi digests everything. Ryan is right, he knows he's right, and yet... he keeps doing the opposite. Like it's some kind of compulsion.

Feels bad, man.

Feels worse to not have an answer. He doesn't know what to do, either.]

I guess... corruption happens differently for everyone. What we can and can't deal with. I didn't handle last month well at all. I thought I could, but.. it nearly broke me, Ryan. And I feel bad saying that because it sounds like I'm saying I couldn't handle you, which isn't what I mean. I can. I did. I just mean it was hard and I didn't know what to do, either.

And I dunno, maybe you walking out was the right thing. I mean, I'm here right now. That only happened, I think, because you had a reaction?

[He doesn't know. He literally doesn't know anything, but it's a decent guess? Maybe?]

With the resting thing, I can't explain why but it feels so counterproductive. I know you're right, but I lay down and all I can think about are all the ways I don't fit into this world and all the things I could be doing to make that better.

[And he's scared.]

I just really need a win, man.

[Ryan lets out a little puff of air that blows some of the hair out of his face.]

Went better than the last reaction, that's for sure.

[Not that he actually wants to talk about it or address that elephant in the room. Instead, he finally rolls his sleeves back down, as if that will make that part of this conversation go away.]

...There's no way walking out was the right call. I mean, maybe short term? Like, we're talking now and that part's good, but...fuck, in the time it took me to get groceries you stabbed your arm! You would have flipped if I'd found a knife while I was corrupted, and you would've been right to.

[He still thinks he was right to freak out, even if he didn't handle it as well as he could have in the moment. He can't just not care that Min was hurting himself, even if there was a reason behind it.

That hangs in the air a moment, and Ryan's thoughts circle back to something Min said. Corruption happens differently for everyone. That...sounds like it's probably true. But by extension, that means--]

...Maybe resting is different for everyone too.

[It sounds kind of stupid out loud, but he keeps going with it.]

I mean - in my defense, it's what helped me and it makes sense if you think about it like, healing from a cold or a broken bone or whatever? But...maybe there's something else we can do for you.

[He finally looks up at Min, and the wheels are turning in his mind. Maybe it's as easy as that. Maybe he's been coming at this from totally the wrong angle.]

[His face is pinched with thought, but he looks back at Ryan, waiting for him to continue.

The logic is sound. And really, this is just another kind of puzzle.

Admittedly, a shitty, extremely personal one, but weren't they all.]

Like what?

Like...

[Hm. How does he put it?]

...stuff to do. Non-stressful stuff to do. Stuff that's not like "oh my god I need to do this or I'm somehow not a functional person in Trench no matter how many times Ryan says that's not true," y'know?

[He's smiling now though, despite the jab. He's cracked it, he's got this.]

You still need to be taking it easy, and that means you still need to actually listen when I say the world isn't going to end if you don't solve all our problems right now, but we'll just give you other stuff to do!

[Is he saying "other stuff" because he doesn't have a specific thing in mind yet? Maybe! But he'll figure it out.]

[Mm, okay. Next question: what the fuck does that mean?]

I don't think just listening to you is something to do but.. okay.

[That isn't what Ryan said, Min-Gi. Try again.]

I couuld do other stuff. and.. I've got the blood now so I could. Send that to a specialist I guess. Can we talk about this inside?

[It's just. You know. It's dark. They're exposed out here. That train robot is still around somewhere.]

[Min-Gi is going to get A Face as a response to that first part, because 1. That's not what he said and 2. He absolutely needs to be listening to Ryan more than he has been.

But at least he's feeling a little better, so he swiftly moves on from it. It's kind of a shame, because the moonlight feels really good, but...he gets it.]

Yeah, sure.

[He pushes himself up onto his feet and offers a hand to help Min up. Once they're back in the safety of the house, with the locks locked, Ryan jumps right back in where he left off.]

Anyway no, that's not the kind of thing I mean. We'll just...I dunno, put it in the fridge and deal with it later? Or I can go, or something. [He pokes Min in the chest.] You're still in problem-solving mode. We're gonna come up with just for fun stuff for you to do. Or like, I dunno, really easy problem solving? I'll come up with things. You'll get it.

[Part of Min wants to argue that just because he said he needs a win doesn't mean he needs Ryan to make up stupid things for him to do, but the other part of him sees Ryan trying and actually, it's not that bad of an idea. That was what he was trying to do with this whole blood thing, wasn't it? Something easy and simple?

He just...you know...chose a really hard, really stupid thing to do.]

Okay. I mean, it wouldn't hurt, right?

[What's the worst that can happen, he almost asks, but thinks better of it because clearly a lot of bad things can happen and why tempt fate.

He looks around the room. From here he can see the dining table and tenses a little bit.]

Hey, you wait here for a second okay? I need to clean something up. Keep talking, I'm listening.

[He's just gonna. You know. Put that knife and towel and jar away.]

[Ryan hesitates. He's...pretty sure he knows what the something is and he can't say that's what he would have gone with first for "really easy problem solving". But...Min's a lot calmer now. He's already thinking more clearly.

He's not going to go stab himself again, and if this attempt to heal his corruption is going to work Ryan has to trust him.

So, he makes the choice to.]

Huh? Oh, uh. Yeah. Sure, Min.

[...Wait, where was his train of thought before this? What was he saying?

...

...

...OH, right.]

But yeah, exactly - it's not like it'll make anything worse. I'm still brainstorming stuff but I'm thinking like. I dunno, books? Puzzles that have absolutely nothing to do with anyone's personal growth?

[Ryan waves a hand even though Min literally isn't in the room to see it.]

I don't know, don't judge it based on that - I'm still working the kinks out of it, like Dave Davies!

[Boooo, terrible pun. But at least he's trying to keep things light?]

[It works. Min snorts loudly, followed by the sound of the fridge door opening and closing and the trash lid opening and closing.

Darkblood stains too badly. The towel and the knife go. He can buy another one later. It was third hand from the bazaar, anyway.

Or, you know, until he changes his mind and spends ages scrubbing the blade clean again.

That knife might be tainted forever, though. Hard to make the decision right now.]

That was terrible.

[But still funny. He's still laughing as he comes back in, this time with two bottles of beer, courtesy of Rocky's. Dean sent him home with a mixed pack of bottles to try and learn. You have to know what you're selling, after all.]

Here. They're cold.

[Might as well enjoy this moment of clarity while it lasts.

Man, does he hate having to think like this.]

So we've got three days until the show. Better pull an Eddie Money and Get A Move On.

[Ba-dum tish]

[Terrible and funny is generally Ryan's M.O. on any given day, so he grins like it's a compliment - and honestly, since it makes Min laugh, it kind of is one.]

Thanks, man.

[He looks over the two beers and decides on the lighter-colored one of the two, and then leads Min right over to the couch. He's almost concerned about mention of the show again, but the joke sneaks up on him and he laughs.]

The only thing you need to do is what Frankie did when he got to Hollywood - Relax.

[As he talks he fiddles with his beer and his keys, using them as a makeshift bottle opener as if he's done this a hundred times before.]

Seriously though, if you're feeling better by showtime? Great. Awesome. But I care more about you than the show. The world will not end if we have to put off our grand return to the stage another week, or two, or however long it takes. And I'm only saying that because I know you, and I know if your claws aren't gone by the third day you're going to be all pissed off at yourself like you failed at something.

[The bottle cap suddenly goes flying and Tomo zooms for it. It's their toy now, and they bat it around on the floor with their teeny paws while Ryan and Min talk. Ryan smiles at him though - he really feels like he gets a piece of it that he didn't before.]

It's not a deadline, dude. It's a reward.

[It isn't that he can't work towards it, but the stakes are low. There's absolutely no reason to stress himself out over firm timelines. They can strike a balance here, Ryan's sure of it.]

[It's a reward, huh.

Maybe he's been looking at this all wrong. Switch it up? Take a leaf out of Ryan's book and trust the unknown? Figure it out as they go?

Kinda have to.

Because honestly? He thought he would get better after his pocket dimension meltdown, too. And when that didn't happen the only explanation was that he can't even do that right. It's too much pressure, building and building and building inside of him like this. So if they can re-frame and trick him into believing that it's the right way to handle it (as weird as it is to be conspiring against himself, but it does like he's dealing with some Other Min-Gi) then it might just work.

He is just. So tired of this.

A sharp pain begins to thread around his forearm and he looks down, holding his beer unopened beer against the wound that's starting to hurt. Maybe that's a good thing. He hadn't felt anything when he'd done it, but he can still feel the texture of blade through flesh in the back of his throat. Like cutting chicken for dinner. Eugh.

Tracing one warm line through a land so wide and savage, he thinks. A true reflection of what it is to exist in Deer Country.]

Yeah... Yeah, okay. If I'm not there yet, then I'm not there yet. It's not a deadline, it's a reward.

Remind me of that next time I turn into a total hoser?

[Ryan smiles. Even if he can tell Min is skeptical, it means a lot that he's trying - and that he's asking for the reminder while he's clear-headed. He answers in a playful singsong.]

I'll do my best~

[Sometimes Ryan thinks in circles - not in the anxious way that Min does, but in a more literal sense. His brain will skip from thought to thought to thought, but then sometimes it loops right back around to something it didn't totally process the first time with new information layered on top of it.

Which is the only explanation Ryan really has for why he's snickering now, but he'll still try and get Min on board anyway.]

Dude. Dude. You're not Jekyll and Hyde. You're Jekyll and Hoser!

[Nailed it.]

[Min-Gi gives such a long suffering groan. Ryan why are you like this.]

No, that's not a thing that's happening.

[It's funny but if he laughs then it's teaching Ryan that this terrible dad humor is acceptable and like hell he's going down that road. Give one single inch and Ryan will run a mile.

What it does do is diffuse the tension, and Min attempts to unscrew his beer before picking at it with his claws for a second and holding it out pathetically for Ryan to open for him.]

It's totally a thing that's happening.

[Ryan nudges Min with his foot. Eh? Ehhh? Come ooon, you know it was hysterical. But with bad jokes a groan is almost as good as a laugh, so he'll claim it as a win.

The better win is that Min is letting Ryan help him in even a small way like this, instead of wrecking his claws trying to pry it open. No questions or explanations are needed - Ryan just sets down his own bottle and gets to work on opening Min's.]

Remind me to teach you how to do this when you don't have claws anymore. [A beat, and then--] Or, y'know. To get you a bottle opener. But this is a pretty sweet party trick, so--

[He makes quick work of it too, turning the bottle in his hand and wriggling the key under the cap as he goes until it pops right off. Once it's open he gives it back to Min, and then raises his own bottle in a toast.]

To a smooth recovery!

[Why do they have to cheers to that. Goddddd!

But Min-Gi takes his beer (and the cap) with a nod of thanks and holds his bottle up in cheers, not quite able to make himself say it aloud before drinking.

Hopefully Ryan will be right about all this or else Min is going to be opening beer bottles with his fangs. That would be a wicked trick too, right? Probably. He considers that as he turns the cap over in his other hand.]

Hey, Tomo.

[A sharp whistle. He holds up the bottle top until Tomo's eyes get as huge as the cap before flicking it into the air for them to do with what they please, keeping his painful arm tight against himself after the release. Tomo always makes him laugh and he suddenly misses Yeong terribly, wondering where she is during all this. Maybe he's been so shitty he has to earn her back or something. That would track.

Back to Ryan,]

Should we eat something?

[To be fair, opening a bottle with his fangs would be gnarly as fuck, and also kind of hot. It's the opposite of a problem, really.

Tomo goes flying for it. They jump and their whole body wiggles as they catch air (since otters were not really made for soaring this way) and even though they miss the bottle cap entirely they are more than happy to roll around on the floor in their treasures. Two! Two bottle caps for Tomo!!!]

Mmm, probably. I did sort of abandon the groceries too...

[They sure are still on the floor nearby, spilled oranges and all. Oops.]

What're you in the mood for?

[Two bottle caps! Two! Tomo is rich! And spoiled and well loved. Even corrupted.

Min takes a sip of his beer. An IPA. Citrus, floral, and piney, with a hint of bitterness and malty backbone for balance. He's learning.

In truth he doesn't think it really tastes like any of those things but that's what he's been told so that's what he's telling himself he's tasting. And, in a way, it's kind of grounding. Just like thinking about food and Ryan and low stakes accomplishments.

He's starting to feel better, you know, but acknowledging it feels like he might jinx himself.]

Something easy... or delivered. My arm is kinda hurting.

[Ryan is like 90% sure that the key to knowing anything about beer is just acting like you know what you're talking about. At least, that's what Ryan's always done and no one's ever questioned him on it.

He's definitely worried about Min's arm - Min bandaged it already, but he wasn't there to ~~help~~ to see it, so he's not sure how bad it is. Is it infected? Does Min need to get stitches?

Instead he just...takes a deep breath, and tries to keep things light.]

Yeah, I bet it does. We can do delivery.

[It's not like Ryan feels much like cooking right now either.]

[So...it's an accident. Kind of. It's mostly an accident.

It starts because Ryan can't actually remember how many spoonfuls of Shiro's magic healing honey go in tea for pain relief. Was it one or two? It was something like that, right? So Ryan goes with two, because Min's arm has been seriously in pain.

But then after he's already brewed the tea and put the honey in it, he remembers that it can be applied topically to wounds too. But...that wouldn't stack on top of the tea, right? Probably?

So he takes the time to tend to Min's wound, and spreads one more spoonful of honey in a thin layer over the gash. It instantly numbs at the site, but it doesn't mend the wound immediately. As he wraps the bandage again, he explains that it will heal shut once it dries.

After that they settle onto the couch together. He passes Min the mug of tea, and gives him a little disclaimer, just in case.]

Sooooo fair warning - Shiro said this can make you feel kinda spacey? [Ryan shrugs.] I've never noticed anything though.

[You know, because Ryan's only ever been given honey by Shiro, who is a responsible adult who doesn't forget things like this. But like, how far off could he be? It's not like he's giving Min a flight of honey shots or something.]

[In the grand scheme of things, getting some honey on his cut isn't the worst direction for this to have gone. It could have gotten infected, it could have exploded with corruption and a horrible monster could have popped out. You never know.

It hurts like a bitch now, but Min mostly trusts Shiro and Ryan vouches for the stuff so why not.

And okay, as embarrassing as it is, it's also kinda sweet that Ryan is so focused on taking care of him. He figures it's the same feeling Min got when he was taking care of Ryan, so it's acceptable.

He takes the tea and sniffs it a few times. It just smells sweet.]

The sugar, I guess.

[Sorta? Maybe? Why not. He drinks it once it's cooled down a little and it's nice. And why wouldn't it be, it's just very sweet tea.

That's so relaxing.

Really relaxing.

Man, he feels pretty great, actually.]

Oh no..

[He looks over at Ryan. How long has he been sitting there sipping? A while. His mug is empty :( ]

[Ryan's very into taking care of Min - he doesn't usually have the opportunity, since Min tends to not be the one who needs taking care of in the first place. Plus Min's been putting a lot of pressure on himself lately, so it's nice that Min is letting Ryan take care of him for once.

At the moment he's curled up on the opposite side of the couch, so Min has enough space to actually drink the tea and lay in whatever way will be comfortable. He's actually in the middle of peeling one of the oranges he got yesterday for Min. Honestly he could be letting Min do this, since he's supposed to be letting him have small tasks anyway, but he so strongly associates oranges with the Park family's brand of caring for people that he felt like doing it himself.

He looks up with a raised eyebrow when Min speaks up though. "Oh no" is something...weird to hear without negative emotions attached to it? When literally nothing is going on? Worried isn't really the right word for it, but. Well. Something is happening here.]

Uh. ...Everything alright there, Min?

[To be honest, he sounds a lot more amused than concerned.]

[Yes. Something is very wrong.

But it isn't Ryan being so sweet over there on the end of the couch with fruit, or the fresh scent of orange oil in the air from being peeled. It isn't even how comfortable this weird old couch is or, when combined with the gentle domesticity of the moment, just how much it feels like home.

No. No, it's something so much worse.

He offers his mug a little bit, looking rather pink and a little (lot) pathetic.]

It's empty.

Edited 2022-05-01 06:24 (UTC)

[It takes everything in Ryan not to burst out laughing at this very, very serious problem Min-Gi is having. His misery isn't funny, it's not at all that. It's just...adorable. All of this is adorable.]

Yep. All gone. Good job, Min!

[It's the same kind of reframing he's been doing since yesterday, but even more toned down because Min is evidently high as a kite. Ryan's just going to carefully try and take the empty mug and set it aside.]

Here - you can have this instead.

[And he hands Min the freshly peeled orange.]

[Him? High? Pffft naaaaah. That’s crazy talk. You’re talking crazy, sir.

His mug is taken and in the moment he is without, his patheticness grows. That is, until, he is presented with a lovingly peeled orange.

And it’s perfect. Not even gooey or anything, just the right amount of naked.

He is delighted and smiles, breaking it open with (shorter!) claws and popping a segment in his mouth.]

Mmmmmmmmffff

[His head flops back against the sofa, sharp teeth into flesh releasing all that nice juice.]

Thif if fo good.

[Alright, this time he can't hold his giggles back. Min sure is having an experience over there with that orange.]

Yeah? Glad you're enjoying it, dude.

[And he is, even if he's laughing at just how much they're being enjoyed. He doesn't mind babysitting Min a little if his high is going to be more of this.]

I got them special for you when I got groceries.

[You know, because things have been hard and oranges fix everything according to Mrs. Park.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

The next day (cw: high from magic healing honey)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject