[There are so many new ways to be opened up that Paul keeps discovering here. Lazarus asks him for his understanding between ataxic breaths, and it slits Paul sternum to navel in hideous comprehension. Because of course he does; because of course it's more important that Paul understand what this was for than that Lazarus survives it.
(They have so much in common that way.)
If Lazarus doubts that Paul recognizes the concessions he's made, the extent of his sacrifices, there's only one person Paul can hold accountable for that. How can he be anything but profoundly, terribly affected by the depths of unearned devotion proclaimed in every dead cell smear and puddle?]
I understand. I never doubted you. Not once.
[He pours all the truth he can dredge out of himself into the unadorned statement. Lazarus didn't ask him for a speech, and they don't have time for one even if he did.]
I'm sorry.
[He means that too, as he lifts his head and glances at the doorway behind him, another question scrawled across his face in muted appeal.
no subject
(They have so much in common that way.)
If Lazarus doubts that Paul recognizes the concessions he's made, the extent of his sacrifices, there's only one person Paul can hold accountable for that. How can he be anything but profoundly, terribly affected by the depths of unearned devotion proclaimed in every dead cell smear and puddle?]
I understand. I never doubted you. Not once.
[He pours all the truth he can dredge out of himself into the unadorned statement. Lazarus didn't ask him for a speech, and they don't have time for one even if he did.]
I'm sorry.
[He means that too, as he lifts his head and glances at the doorway behind him, another question scrawled across his face in muted appeal.
(Will Lazarus understand this? Does Paul?)]