[he sees the way allen's smile drops and something inside him seems to break a little. the reassurances he'd been speaking of, the pride in knowing his father had spoken to someone else about him in that positive sense, the reality that endeavor had given his efforts his attention enough to recognize he'd been trying hard, what allen said at the start of this... that happened... right? that had really happened. he wasn't lying... was he?]
He said that, right? He told you... that I was trying hard... right? You weren't lying... were you?
[touya's voice shivers, trying to hold onto the hope that it had been true. that his father really did care even if he was too busy and distracted to say it directly. he was waiting for touya to prove himself. that's what it had to be, if he was still able to tell someone he worked with that his eldest son was trying hard.
the smile stays on his face, because if it leaves, then he knows that all of that which just transpired was done on a lie. saying it's okay not to smile... he felt like smiling because he'd been so proud... so happy, with what allen had told him!]
It... It made a difference. It made a difference! You said it did! You knew how hard I was trying! You wouldn't have known that unless he told you! [touya's voice rises in protest, almost accusing at the other man in front of him. the pain and anger surfing behind that tiny, thin net of remaining hope begins to push through the gaping holes as it snaps and swells.] He told you! Endeavor said-- my dad said I was trying hard! Tell me he said that! Tell me he told you!
[both hands grab onto the man's knees, small and tight, a shattered face staring into his as the tears began falling down the side of his face. because he already knew the truth. endeavor never told him. allen didn't learn that from his father. he was probably just saying that to be nice. it wasn't real...
it wasn't true...]
Liar...
[flames burst from touya's back, arching out in a spewing rush of uncontrolled orange and red. sweeping down his arms as the scent of burning flesh began to creep into the air. more of those orange tongues scorched at his clothes, revealing burns on his body through the blackening holes. burning himself up inside because he wanted so desperately for his father's attention, to be stronger so his father would pay attention to him, so endeavor wouldn't regret creating touya.]
no subject
He said that, right? He told you... that I was trying hard... right? You weren't lying... were you?
[touya's voice shivers, trying to hold onto the hope that it had been true. that his father really did care even if he was too busy and distracted to say it directly. he was waiting for touya to prove himself. that's what it had to be, if he was still able to tell someone he worked with that his eldest son was trying hard.
the smile stays on his face, because if it leaves, then he knows that all of that which just transpired was done on a lie. saying it's okay not to smile... he felt like smiling because he'd been so proud... so happy, with what allen had told him!]
It... It made a difference. It made a difference! You said it did! You knew how hard I was trying! You wouldn't have known that unless he told you! [touya's voice rises in protest, almost accusing at the other man in front of him. the pain and anger surfing behind that tiny, thin net of remaining hope begins to push through the gaping holes as it snaps and swells.] He told you! Endeavor said-- my dad said I was trying hard! Tell me he said that! Tell me he told you!
[both hands grab onto the man's knees, small and tight, a shattered face staring into his as the tears began falling down the side of his face. because he already knew the truth. endeavor never told him. allen didn't learn that from his father. he was probably just saying that to be nice. it wasn't real...
it wasn't true...]
Liar...
[flames burst from touya's back, arching out in a spewing rush of uncontrolled orange and red. sweeping down his arms as the scent of burning flesh began to creep into the air. more of those orange tongues scorched at his clothes, revealing burns on his body through the blackening holes. burning himself up inside because he wanted so desperately for his father's attention, to be stronger so his father would pay attention to him, so endeavor wouldn't regret creating touya.]
Liar...