deercountry | you're the sunflower (i think your love would be too much)

Entry tags:

you're the sunflower (i think your love would be too much)

Who: akira kurusu & friends (open to everyone. make friends. or enemies.)
What: Hijinks.
When: throughout the month catch-all
Where: god only knows

Content Warnings: Flowers growing on body parts, frogs. So many frogs.

i; beginning of the month

[ Akira has a problem. Which is: his hair. It's getting long. It's getting too long. His hair has gone from "fashionably unkempt" to "just unkempt" to "a tangled mess" to "slowly gaining sentience", and it took so long to dry after his last bath that he was genuinely afraid it was going to mold.

So he's sitting outside with scissors, and he--

Is he about to try to cut his own hair? Without a mirror? Given the way he's pulling it into a weird ponytail, it sure looks like it. He pulls a curl taught and then raises the scissors. Oh god, don't let him do it. ]

ii; plantlife and you!

[ Akira didn't notice when he brushed against a weird flower, you understand. He hasn't quite gotten used to having to watch every step he takes in his daily life, so he brushes against a weird little vine and thinks nothing of it. He brushes it off.

Or he thinks he does.

He doesn't pay much attention to it after that-- not until later, when there's another flower and he's taken his pants off and he's trying to figure out why he's suddenly become a flower. But it's not the weirdest thing ever. It seems fine. He's vaguely aware that it shouldn't seem fine, but it's totally fine.

He goes to sleep.

The next day finds him outside, looking up, dazed, at the sky, before trying to take a step forward and walking straight into a pole with a resounding 'tonk!' noise. ]

[ closed to housemates only ]

[ Akira is, in the morning, surprisingly functional -- but he still always veers straight into the kitchen to make coffee first thing. It's a nice little ritual and no one ever bothers him and it's always the same, even if his skin is peeling off or he's been kidnapped or Akechi is being particularly uncharitable or whatever.

It's fine. It's nice. Coffee has literally never hurt him.

So he brews a cup. He sits down. He takes a sip.

And then--

He yelps, jumping back to his feet, as frogs come leaping out of his pockets. Dozens of frogs, who look as offended to be in Akira's pockets as Akira is to find them in his pockets. ]

Wha--

[ He raises the coffee above his head to save it and just watches the frogs in bafflement as they spread across the kitchen.

Finally, he calls out a warning: ]

Frogs!

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[ Honestly - things are often so weird in Trench that discovering someone who thinks they have hairdresser skills that they probably don't actually have isn't as strange in comparison. It feels like it'd land more in the category of mundanely strange things. Like witnessing a piano accidentally being dropped by a bunch of movers.

.. It's almost on the same level of disastrous consequences, too.

It's the latter part that makes Ange wonder if she shouldn't speak up. On one hand, it's Akira's god-given right to make himself look like an idiot.

On the other hand, a whole lot of people could sometimes use someone here to talk some sense into them.

Hence why Ange can't help but speak up with an: ]

Are you sure you want to do that?

[ (Girl, who asked you for your opinion, though.) ]

[ Akira looks over and -- well, Ange has been a voice of relative sanity the entire time he's known her, so he is willing to take her advice into consideration. Don't make puns at ghosts, don't eat weird chocolate, don't cut your own hair without a mirror. ]

It's too long. [ Which is more of an explanation than an answer, but. ]

I can usually trim it a little myself... it's just really long this time. [ Read: he can usually keep it maintained to a state of normal messiness when it has already been styled, but this.

This is long enough for a ponytail. It's too much. He can't cope. It keeps getting in his eyes. It takes so much shampoo. He's had to use a brush on it for the first time in his life. ]

[ It's not even that she doesn't get his problem, honestly. Of course your hair is going to start bothering you at some point. It's a bit less of a problem for her, since she didn't have super short hair in the first place, but in Akira's case.. well, of course hair is going to bother you more easily when you're used to having it short.

But this just doesn't seem like the right solution to her. Unless he's also totally immune to public embarrassment. ]

Don't you know anyone who knows how to cut hair?

[ .. granted, it's not like this place is filled to the brim with hairdressers, but still-- ]

Couldn't you just.. ask around?

I usually just google somewhere. [ He picks up a piece of his hair and rolls it between his fingers, considering it. You could probably hide things in that hair. Secrets. Betrayal. Hearts. ]

Last time I got it trimmed they told me my curls were "unreal" and "hard to cut", so I didn't want to bother anyone. [ It is pretty curly, after all, and it does take some effort to get it as stylishly messy as he usually wears it... When it isn't so overgrown it could be a lawn decoration. Or a horror movie prop. ]

You think it'd be that bad to cut it myself?

Yes.

[ There we go, there's the classic Ange answer. She doesn't even hesitate before saying it. There's hardly even a beat between him asking that question and her answering it already, almost like she anticipated it...

Sorry, Akira.

At least she does seem tactful enough to not leave it at that. Akira - this one, nor the different-named one she's known in the past - has never seemed like a bad guy, so she's not fully going to roast him on purpose. ]

I don't mean that in a personal sense. I think anyone cutting their own hair is making a bad decision. [ Equal judgement for all! ] Have you never seen the results of people doing that? They usually end up looking like clowns.

[ Akira doesn't seem bothered by the quick answer, because -- well, that's fair. It's not like he doesn't appreciate the honesty, even if it means things are more complicated now. ]

I think one of my friends dyes his hair by himself, but he pulls it off. [ That's a very polite statement about Ryuji that may or may not reflect reality for anyone that isn't best friends with him. ]

Do you know anyone any good at cutting hair? I haven't gone looking for places. I really just thought I'd take care of it myself.

I can't really give any recommendations right now.

[ After all, she did get her hair cut regularly in the last place she was in, but since she's been growing it out a little, she hasn't really had to get that done here as much..

So she's not being very helpful. But then again - she did tell him to not do it to himself, so that's helpful enough for now, isn't it? ]

But knowing the way stuff usually works here, you'll probably have people lining up in no time if you ask that over the Omni. Or else just use some manly charm. [ M-manly charm.. Please, Ange, look at this poor nerd. ] That'll surely attract them.

[She has enough self control not to laugh at his suffering, but it's a near thing. She approaches him from his fallen position and then she sees the flowers growing out of him and that...

Okay, that's concerning. She offers a hand to him.]

You okay? That looked kind of painful.

Edited 2022-05-14 07:17 (UTC)

[ Akira blinks at the hand, visibly dazed, and then takes it, offering a smile that's a little more confused than it might be normally. ]

It... was painful. [ Is he agreeing? Is he echoing? It's a little hard to tell. He reaches up to massage his head where he hit the pole, and then leaves his hand there, twirling a piece of his hair between his fingers in contemplation. ] Thanks.

Was that always there? [ He swears there wasn't a pole there before. ]

I think so. [She's... no expert on the local poles. Or on if this kind of scatterbrained-ness is normal behaviour from him. Is he drunk? High? Just like this? However should she know, really.

She shrugs.]

Do you need me to walk you home? You seem a little out of it.

Oh... I'm okay. I just feel... [ He trails off, and it's a long, considering silence while he appears to search deeply for a word to describe it and then completely forget what word he was looking for to begin with. It's a sentence that never gets resolved, because he looks over at her, seemingly zeroing in on the most important part of the situation --]

...have we met?

[This entire household being full of weird morning teenagers is probably the strangest trait shared among them all, and they all also have weird brain demons that they fight with in a supernatural parallel universe. It's the vague amount of alarm in Akira's voice that catches Sumire's attention as she's tying her hair up for the day, and she opens her bedroom door to stick her head into the hallway and call back.]

Senpai did you just say frogs? [Surely she misheard.]

Frogs! [ Sumire will hear the distinct sound of Akira's footsteps, heavier when he isn't making the effort to step lightly, and then the sound of him cursing and what sounds like him falling in the kitchen.

He has slipped on a frog. RIP to the frog and also to his coffee, which is all over him now, and he makes the split second decision to drain what's left in the cup before he resumes trying to catch the frogs--

There's more frogs. They are in his pants. They are everywhere.

Maurice is about to have the best day of his life. ]

[This is such a uniquely Akira problem, she isn't even sure she can question it. Stepping into the hallway and closing her door, she makes her way to the kitchen to the scene, and... Well.]

[Akira, on his ass on the kitchen floor, covered in coffee (there was more of it all over the floor around him, indicating he'd fallen and spilled it), and... As stated;] ...frogs. Um.

[One is hopping anxiously toward her and she stoops, holding out her hands to catch it.] I feel like you don't know the "how"s or the "why"s I want to ask, so I maybe shouldn't ask them?

[ There are, quite literally, a hundred frogs and change in the kitchen, slowly expanding in an inexorable tidal wave of amphibians throughout the house, several of them croaking loudly in confusion and discomfort.

Some are neat colors. Some are definitely poisonous. ]

I... I just sat down, and then there were frogs... In my pockets. [ Akira reaches into the pockets of his sweat pants and turns one inside out-- it's empty-- but the other one he produces a very indignant, elderly looking frog from. The frog casts him a withering glare, and Akira gently sets it on the table. ]

I don't know why there were frogs in my pants. I didn't put them there. [ This is more rattling than most of what has happened to him in the past three years of his life combined, but fuck if he could explain why. ]

[The frog exiting the kitchen at the time of Sumire's reaching for it hops into her hands and she stands back up, moving her head and her hands around to get a good look at it before smiling and stepping carefully into the kitchen to set it with some of the others.]

Okay, well... I don't know much about frogs. What I do know is that Akechi-san will probably be quite cross waking up to the house overrun with them. [She shuffles carefully toward him, reaching out and setting her hand at the bend of his elbow.] ...so I think operation Get The Frogs Out Of The House might be second only to Make Sure There Are Not More Frogs In Your Pants.

[ Akira nods, a little vacantly, watching all the frogs. He eyes the one he'd set on the table, who lets out a very deep warning croak, turns his back onto Sumire and Akira, and settles down to take a little frog nap on Akira's plate. ]

... okay. I'm gonna go change my pants. And then we'll catch the frogs.

[ Akira stands back up and brushes himself off, making sure he is entirely free of frogs-- hold on, wait. He extracts a very confused, very small, slightly translucent frog from his hair and sets it down on the table as well.

Akira has many questions. ]

Do you want to... go open the front door, and we can just try to chase them out?

[She can't help the tiny grin at his hair-frog, keeping an eye on their feet, otherwise, and shooing at a frog who curiously starts to try catching Akira's spilt coffee all over the kitchen floor.]

If it isn't weird for me to suggest, and assuming you're wearing something under them, you might want to leave the pants here, in case they're somehow the source of the frogs entirely. [Because Akira would somehow wind up with cursed frog pants.] But, yes, I'll get the door.

They did come from my pockets... [ Akira doesn't mind too much, so he strips off his sweatpants -- he is wearing boxers underneath -- and gently shakes them out like there might be more frogs hidden in the folds. Thankfully, there are not.

He folds them gently and sets them on the table, and the hair frog triumphantly jumps atop them and settles in, nearly invisible. ]

I'm gonna make sure Maurice doesn't start hunting them. [ He has to mince across the kitchen floor, on account of the coffee and the frogs, but he navigates it with his normal phantom thief leader agility and bounds off to get New Pants, Now With Less Frog? ]

[Sumire makes a point of not watching him shake out his sweatpants, predominantly out of respect for his (lack of) modesty, idly scooping up frogs on her way toward the front door and depositing them in a little line as she walks backward in hopes of coaxing them to follow her. It only sort of works, but by the time Akira returns with new pants, she's started something of a conga line of frogs.]

I think it's working?

[ He has swapped to his trademark jeans, which, frankly, do not leave much in the way of room for frogs. He may not have a dump truck ass like some people, but he still favors fairly close cut denim. Which is reassuring, now that pants might be the enemy and can no longer be trusted not to contain amphibians. ]

You think they'll be okay outside? I'm not sure they're from around here. [ Akira doesn't intend to keep them, admittedly, but. He grabs a broom to gently usher some of them out of the house. Most of them move when gently tapped, but they let out annoyed croaks, like angry little cats with longer tongues. ]

Outside is at least better than Maurice's jungle, [Lightly, as she scoops one off of its chosen perch on her shoulder to join the conga line out the door.] All three of our omens would likely eat them if they stayed, actually.

[She settles back on her haunches and looks him over.] Overall I guess frogs aren't the worst of things to suddenly have fill your pockets.

[ Akechi has comfortably parked himself in his little reading nook upstairs when he hears the cry of Frogs! He's still for a moment because surely he didn't hear that right. Surely there's something else going on.

... yeah, that shout was probably very literal. Akechi pushes himself to his feed and heads for the stairs.

He's not the first one down, however. While Akechi sits and debates with himself over whether or not to approach Maurice, who has been napping in the livingroom, lifts his head. Barely a moment passes before he launches himself off the couch and zooms into the kitchen at top speed, paws skittering across the tile as he bats wildly at the invading frogs. ]

Maurice, don't eat them, I don't know where they're-- [ Akira has to dodge as a frog attempts to submerse itself into his coffee, because all boiling frog metaphors aside, he just really doesn't want to drink coffee that frogs have been in. ] --from!

[ Akira is standing on his chair at this point, holding his coffee (covered with his spare hand) over his head, looking down at the floor in complete bafflement.

Then he yelps and nearly drops the coffee anyway when another frog wrestles its way out of his pocket and starts to hop across the chaos on the floor. ]

[It's hard to really catch when things are a Concerning Weird rather than Trench's Default Weird. Everything changes by the month, by the week even, so seeing some guy stumble around in a daze doesn't even begin to ping Dipper on his worry scale.]

[Walking straight on into a pole does garner a great deal of sympathy from him, however, so he stops long enough to say something.]

Same, dude.

[Fucking Big Mood. It's because Dipper sympathizes with this explicitly that he follows up with something more, though.]

You okay?

[ Akira touches his forehead. He touches the pole. He touches his forehead. He looks absolutely astounded by the concept that he just ricocheted off the pole, and when he turns to look at Dipper, he's wide eyed. ]

Am I?? [ Akira genuinely doesn't know. Questions are hard right now. He is vaguely aware that his head hurts now, so he rubs at it -- there's a hint of petals up his sleeve, maybe, but it's hard to get a good look. ]

Was that always here?

[Oh. Oh man, this guy is out of it. Dipper opens his mouth and then closes it again. He will very carefully approach him, as if he might suddenly slam back into the pole again, unprompted.]

I dunno, man. You walked into that thing hard enough I heard it echo. Impressive, but yikes.

[He does see petals but that's not an immediate cause for concern yet. He frowns.]

Where are you heading?

[You probably need an escort.]

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you're the sunflower (i think your love would be too much)

i

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frogs,

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( house )

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