deercountry | june catch-all

Entry tags:

june catch-all

Who: viktor and others, open to all with some closed prompts in comments
What: june catch-all, some tdm prompts
When: june
Where: various

content warning; terminal illness, arcane season 1 spoilers

misc lab stuff and various fruits.

[viktor's lab in the willful machine is usually left unlocked when he's working inside. friends or acquaintances have likely been told they're welcome to stop by if they like, either to say hello or to get help with whatever a vaguely sketchy lab could handle. of course someone he doesn't know can just walk in too or knock. maybe there's a sudden downpour and that ajar door is tempting? go for it.

the lab has been slowly filling with all sorts of nonsense on the various tables- lasers! tasers! some weird machine hooked up to a blood gem? it is not unlikely to be walking by and hear some minor booming noise and either a curse in czech or a satisfied 'a-ha!' feel free to investigate.

this month there's something else too, a bowl full of fruit. all the fruits mentioned in the tdm in fact, there to be tested on though it looks more like they're just for guests if people are unaware there's some weird shit going on.]

Just a moment, make yourself at home. [he might say to guest. that would include eating some fruit, right? enjoy. probably not the raw lemon though, that's weird.]

[ooc; if you want to memshare i am game, my only hard limit on memories is no suicide stuff please. self sacrifice is fine! feel free to ask to make sure one is okay. if you'd like a viktor memory let me know any hard limits and what sort of memory you might prefer!]

gaze and time loops.

[having lungs mostly working for the moment is pretty great, in viktor's humble opinion. it means walking around the trench doesn't come with the risk of coughing up blood and attracting beasts and generally having a bad time, along with added perks like not getting so easily winded and going for longer. it also means he finds himself out longer than he usually would, which maybe isn't the best, as it turns out.

for example, making his way home through gaze and hearing the chilling cry of a beast, sighing and trying to make his way around what turns out to be the wrong corner. maybe that's where he sees your character before the snarling of a too close beast starts in earnest.

and then snap! they're both back about an hour, where they passed on the street. the look viktor gives is somewhere between resigned and 'fuck this, actually.'] There is a term for this. 'One of those days,' I think.

[ooc; if you'd like to wildcard or do something else you can pm me here or find me at

dichotomy]

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[these moments of forgetting herself like that are honestly ones viktor tends to enjoy. it is good, he thinks, she can do so when she is so careful otherwise.

and she is ultimately right, there is no blame to throw around here unless it's at the trench and whatever force toys with them. it was largely a good memory, if not a little awkward at places. all in all not a terrible thing to happen, and thankfully not with a stranger.

that is what he's thinking before he registers what she said, a look of surprise crossing his face he can't help. looking back- ah, early on, that was such a typical state of affairs he didn't really register it as an aspect of the memory she saw. such an unpleasant but well tread fact of his life then it leaves him unsure of how to address it for a moment.]

Ah, with the other children. [he glances to the apple slices (still a pull to eat them despite all this, which is something he may register as odd later) before offering,] I simply could not keep up. It is an unfortunate fact of life but I suppose it was just the way of the undercity. Perhaps just the way of children in general.

[a pause and he looks back to admit,] Sometimes the people here surprise me in that way, their generosity.

But, still..

[ Maybe it's unfair of her to say, Chizuru thinks. After all, hasn't she had the exact same experience? Finding that people here in this place are so kind, and constantly being surprised by that..

But - as usually - she feels like it's one thing when it happens to her, but it's another thing entirely when it happens to someone else. Viktor is so kind, and so smart - he deserves better. ]

It doesn't feel right. [ She slowly grabs another apple slice, only faintly nibbling on it as she's thinking. ] They shouldn't have treated you like that, just because you were different..

[ It's that last word that lingers in the air, almost echoing against the wall around them.

Especially as the view around them seems to change once more. It doesn't move back to Viktor's memory, though. Instead the space around them fills up with the outside, but much greener. A tree blooms overhead with multitudes of pink flowers, and a bunch of young kids are climbing in said tree. They laugh, giggle, obviously having a great time treating the tree like their own personal jungle gym. If Viktor looks well, then he might realise one of the kids is Chizuru - though obviously much younger, and actually with her hair down, rather than pulled into her current eternal ponytail.

The young Chizuru seems to suddenly lose her balance though, falling out of the tree with a gasp and hitting the ground. The kids seem startled, quickly climbing back down to check up on her. Chizuru thankfully seems mostly fine, but there's a huge scratch across her forearm, most likely from having hit one of the branches on her way down.

The kids crowd around her, asking if she's okay.. but then one of them suddenly jumps back with a yelp. More and more of them do. It leaves room for Viktor to see what the kids seem to be so startled about - the huge, bleeding gash on Chizuru's arm is disappearing on the spot, skin knitting itself back together until it looks like the wound was never there in the first place.

Chaos ensues as the kids quickly put more and more distance between them and Chizuru, screaming about how she's a monster, how she's weird, how they should get away from her..

.. and they do. The kids run away before the young girl has even a chance to stand up, leaving her there alone on the grass as the young girl starts softly crying to herself, not bothering to try and follow them.

A bald man slowly walks up to the girl, frowning in concern and putting a hand on her shoulder, before saying that it's probably better for her to not play with those children again.

With that, the memory fades. ]

[before viktor can think of what to say to that, if he should deflect or admit agreement that always ends in a resigned note about the nature of things, the world shifts again.

for the briefest of moments he thinks of ammy's trees, before the rhythm of the memory takes over in a steady flow. it's nice, fresh air and vibrant colors, laughter and chatter until everything is abruptly not very nice at all.

the initial mockery and fear is somehow not nearly as piercing as the tail end, the child left behind with the echoes of accusations to keep her company. as the memory fades viktor lets out a soft breath, reorienting himself with the real world around them, the apple smell in the air and the summer warmth.]

You're right. They shouldn't have. [he says finally, regarding her without the careful guard of before.] To either of us.

[he closes his eyes to let the rest of that day clear, a small frown over his features.] You must have been quite lonely too.

[ Chizuru is quiet for a moment.

It's kind of scary that Viktor saw that memory. Because it could lead him to wonder why Chizuru heals so easily, and while she doesn't want to keep secrets from her friends, she is absolutely deadly afraid that they will drop her like a brick the moment they know of her nature - just as those kids had, back there.

It also feels much harder to say any words defending herself, compared to how easy it felt to defend that poor young Viktor in his memory. Chizuru stops eating the apple slices for now, instead pulling her hands close to herself - protectively so.

Her expression is worried. ]

.. It's fine. I had my father, so.. that was enough for me.

[ Is that the full truth? .. Maybe not really. She was lonely.

But on the other hand, Chizuru knows that she is luckier than some to have had a father - or a person she assumed to be her father - taking care of her. ]

[admittedly he is wondering, that healing is... well, fascinating. almost the opposite of his own body in many ways, and yet led to a similar isolation. maybe if he didn't keenly understand that he would try to pry out of curiosity but he can refrain.

it is a little bitter though, how similar it ultimately is. how fickle people are at any perceived abnormality. not a surprising matter in the slightest but no less frustrating to be reminded.]

It was enough for me to have Rio for a time, but it did not mean it wasn't... unpleasant. [he settles for, offering that little bit up like an odd sort of exchange.] And that was your father?

[the one with Opinions about her marrying. hm.]

[ Unpleasant. It's a very specific choice of words, though Chizuru feels a little glad that he can admit it in the first place. Maybe it's since she just knows way too many people back home who might rather die than admit to a single sad emotion..

But since it's a little harder to address than his question, Chizuru decides to focus that first, and to save this for later, once she might be able to address it a bit more gracefully. ]

Yes.

[ She slowly nods. ]

Um.. He isn't my biological father though. [ Maybe it's a weird detail to mention, but she at least wants to be a little honest with Viktor in return for the heavy memories they just witnessed.

Especially while she's still dancing around the reason just why she can heal so quickly, somewhat glad that Viktor isn't asking about that right now. Offering this up in exchange feels a tad easier. ] I didn't know that yet back then.. but my father and mother died a long time ago. He took me along as his daughter after that.

Ah. In truth where I am from family is rarely purely biological. They are the people who raise you and stand with you regardless of the trials. [viktor answers. if anything a situation like chizuru's is kind of common, though...

yes, viktor can't help a level of unease putting certain things together. a little girl who seemed to have incredible healing abilities, and he is fairly certain chizuru mentioned the man was a doctor. of course he may simply have done it out of kindness, but with rio and singed still on his mind it's too easy to wonder.

the mutation must survive, singed told him twice. he makes a mental note that if singed ever came to this place that he would make sure chizuru was aware she needed to keep a far distance, especially if she still had this ability.

but that aside he lets out a breath, nods.] Which I suppose is just to say family is what we make of it. I hope he was a good father to you.

[ It's not like adoption is an extreme rarity where Chizuru comes from, but there's definitely still quite some emphasis on blood relations as well.. to a point where she can't even really imagine a world like Viktor's, where biological families are actually rare.

The way she looks for a moment probably says as much.

(It means she also wonders about his family, but given the memory she just saw.. it feels a little too raw to ask.) ]

He.. did his best. [ She instead says, still wanting to be honest. And it's true! It's not like things were always bad. It just got awkward when he straight up abandoned her, only to start an army of mutated people.... ] Even if his intentions might not.. always have been pure, I suppose.. But it's not like he was unkind to me, so I really thought of him as my father..

[ She shakes her head. ]

I'm so sorry. I shouldn't just talk about myself here, especially since you had to see one of your old memories again as well.

[ah, that answer about the man does support his theory a little, makes him sigh as he picks up an apple piece. when she apologizes he glances back to her, lips quirking a bit humorlessly.]

Honestly Chizuru, if anything hearing this helps. Perhaps it is eh... odd, or selfish, but there are things I have seen and you have told me that I cannot help but relate to.

[and it makes it a little easier to discuss things he'd usually try to deflect or dismiss.] The man you saw, he was... complicated as well. He was very kind to me, but his intentions were not always pure either. Still, it is difficult to fully untangle yourself from someone so formative in your life, isn't it?

Especially when there were so few people willing to extend that kind of kindness. [he looks back to the apple slice again, resisting the mild urge to just eat it.] For what it is worth, I think you deserved better from all of them.

He didn't hurt you, did he?

[ Sure, Viktor is saying a lot of other things here. But this time - this time!! - it's actually not an effort on Chizuru's part to avoid having to deal with any compliments, or just people telling her that she deserves better.

It's just that the moment Viktor mentions that the man she saw in the memory didn't only have pure intentions, Chizuru just can't help but worry. Especially since Viktor had still been so young back then.. what if something bad had happened to him beyond the memory she saw?

Hence why she instantly asks that question, looking at him with worried eyes. ]

[he can't help a chuckle, mostly because chizuru's focus on that is very like her.] He never hurt me, no. But he hurt others, in ways I could not bring myself to truly forgive.

[not that he didn't go back in the very end, in desperation, but he lets that thought flicker away to regard her.] ... your father did not hurt you, did he?

[ She shakes her head, even as her thoughts linger on Viktor for a moment. Relieved, at least, that he wasn't hurt by that man, but.. still a little worried all the same that he was relatively close to someone who might not have been the best person ever.

At least his rejection of what that man did does further cements Chizuru's view of Viktor as a good person.

But his question.. ]

It's just.. [ For a moment Chizuru's voice trails off, and she makes a nervous gesture with her hands before she manages to continue. All of these things are hard to talk about - if not mostly because she constantly hides them from everyone. ] My father and mother.. apparently they died when the village was lived in was attacked. Everyone who lived there was like me [ a little vague, especially since Chizuru does know the word for something like her, it's just hesitancy on her part to actually use it ] and that's apparently why it was attacked. Why.. [ She swallows. ] Why everyone there was killed.

My adoptive father saved me from it by taking me away with him while it was happening. He.. He seemed to think it was important for our kind to live on no matter what since there were very few of us left, and he thought I was important for that, since it's really rare for girls to be born among our kind.

[ One can see where this is going, right. Especially with what Chizuru told Viktor before about what her father wanted for her, with him forcing a specific man onto her and all.

Sometimes you're just seen as a potential special babies machine. ]

[there is a lot to unpack there. 'like me' answers some questions as much as it raises many more. so it's genetic, in some way, not likely a magic or a gift. the fact they were persecuted it does not surprise him, even if it disgusts him. the world had a tendency to try and weed out anything it saw as 'other,' one way or another.

that the trench natives didn't turn on the sleepers still surprises him, in truth.

all of that though isn't what strikes him, what has a cold pit growing in his stomach is what chizuru is saying between the lines. that bit about 'marriage' before, when she walked him home so many weeks ago, it is suddenly so much more sinister than he could have imagined.

(and in this moment he has a rather important shift in his own way of thinking. because when he went back to singed he tried to see the reasoning behind his cruelty, tried in his desperation to save himself to understand and accept the need for unrelenting progress. he looked at rio in her vat and tried to weed out the childish, grieving emotions that came with it, because it was inefficient. because he didn't have the time.

but here, now, he can easily see it. the mutation must survive is just another it was important for our kind to live no matter what. it is too easy to see singed now, in chizuru's father, how he would have likely done the same. the price of progress being chizuru herself, as a person, as such a kind girl who sat with him as his lungs rebelled and made him medicine to try and help.

it snaps into place in his head relentlessly, this understanding that there were indeed prices too high for progress, prices he'd never pay. that when he told singed he understood now he was trying to to crush a part of himself he thought too sentimental, too halting.

something he'll think about later, settle into. for now, there is this.)

after a quiet beat he offers his hand out between them, unsure of it's welcome but too comforted himself by simple touch not to offer it.]

I am... very glad you got away then, to your friends back home. He is wrong, there is no 'no matter what.' You are a person, not a legacy.

Edited 2022-06-16 04:15 (UTC)

[ Truthfully, Chizuru's feelings on what she is, and what it means, and whether or not she ought to have some duty towards others like her because of it.. they're still murky. She found out too soon ago, and the chaos back home left her with no time to sort any of those feelings out.

But it doesn't matter. Regardless of how she feels about it, or regardless of how little she knows how to feel about it.. She knows that Viktor's words in this moment make a warmth blossom inside of her all the same. Because she knows that the words come from a place of care. It's a little similar to what some of the Shinsengumi men back home might have told her, she thinks..

Chizuru stares at that hand, held out to her like that. Even without knowing any of the thoughts going through Viktor's head, just the words he says out loud are enough to make her smile and put both of her hands on both sides of his hand, clasping it between her two hands like that.

She smiles up at him. ]

You know.. Those kids were wrong too. Even if you might not have been able to keep up with them if they'd run, there's so many things you can do. You're so smart, and thoughtful, and you're one of the most kind-hearted people I've met. [ She may sound a tad choked up as she speaks.

His words just seem to mean that much to her.

But she manages to speak on all the same. ]

They may have missed out on that, but.. I feel so grateful that I'm able to call you my friend, Viktor.

[he curls his fingers around hers, a crooked smile back when she smiles to him. a touch relieved, because these sentimental matters never feel natural to him, insofar that he always half expects to make some grave error or cross some line.

it is rewarding though, when he is met halfway like this. good to say something that seems to have an impact despite his uncertainty it could.

admittedly her words in turn are a lot to take in, the kind of thing he'd usually try to avoid or dismiss but- well, difficult, when here they are on something like common ground. he can't help ducking his head, a quiet chuckle despite the fact his chest aches in a pleasant way.

hm. he squeezes her hands as way of an answer at first, just a touch overwhelmed before glancing up again.]

I... I truly appreciate that, Chizuru. In truth I've always found it difficult with people, there are so many angles to consider. You have always been so sincere, it is- I admire that, a great deal. It makes it very rewarding to be your friend.

Perhaps we can agree all of those children did not know what they missed, eh? Or at least... I am glad we did not miss each other here.

Me too.

[ That's a sentiment she doesn't even have to think about. Of course she's also glad about that, especially given how little chances either of them had to form a whole lot of connections before.

Chizuru lingers like that for a moment, but then slowly lets go of his hands - even though she didn't quite realise how overwhelming this was for Viktor, this small action might coincidentally help a little. ]

I also hope that you don't have as many.. um, angles to consider. With me.

[ It's a little difficult to imagine, because Chizuru's own meekness is never born from that as much as she just has an inherent wish to be polite and kind to everyone, never wanting to be the overpowering voice in any room.

But she hopes that she can at least make the interactions with her as easy for Viktor as possible. ]

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june catch-all

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cw: slight wound description

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cw: non-consensual implications, though nothing that actually happened

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