deercountry | September & October Catch-All

[He keeps a steady, secure grip on Tuck's massive hand. The closer they stick together, the easier it is for Vyng to maintain the safeguards keeping them from taking a dip with the fish.

At his friend's enthusiasm, Vyng's mouth splits into a grin.]

♫I'm walkin' on water, wo-oah!
And don't it feel good!♫

HEY! [ Tucks screams with perfect timing. ] A fish.

[ It's long and predatory like a barracuda right under their feet. But soon enough it darts away farther into the water. ]

Hahahah! [Vyng can't help but laugh at that smooth transition.] Cooool...

[Suddenly, the reason for the barracuda's hasty retreat becomes clear. A hefty air bubble reaches the surface with a quiet ploop — and the stench of rotten eggs soon mixes with the salt-water air.]

[ It takes Tuck a moment to understand what just happened. As he's squatting down to watch the last flashing scales of the fish flicker away, the waft of a heinous Vyng fart singes his nose hairs straight to the roots! ]

Holy shiiit! Vyng! What the hell do you eat to make that smell?!

Whoops, got a little saucy there — pasta saucy, I mean.

[This is what love is, clearly. And Tuck isn't wallowing in his own self pity anymore...for now.

Vyng's still smiling when he catches sight of some ocean glass, somehow managing to glint from its bed on the cloudy sandbar. Luca showed him something similar awhile back. He knows they're highly sought-after back in town. But he can always search for more another time.

He's too content with enjoying their stroll to do anything else.]

Hey, there's a little fishing spot not too far from here. Wanna go check it out?

So much. It was so much...

[Still leaning against the edge of the canoe, Vyng's gaze becomes distant. How can something so seared so vividly into his mind feel like a lifetime ago?]

The Dream was falling apart. Countless entities from other worlds got pulled into town. They lacked physical forms, so they needed...someone. To hold onto. My spirit was like...I don't know. A beacon for them? And so my body became their anchor, to keep them tethered to the world.

I wouldn't have minded. I didn't mind, at first. They were desperate. But there were so many. Too many. Far more than I could help. I got overwhelmed. I wasn't...in control of myself anymore. I wasn't even me anymore.

My sense of self just, just...shattered.

[His tone takes on a detached quality, like Vyng is trying to separate himself from the experience as much as possible. It's the only way he can bring himself to recount the story.]

My body warped. One moment, I was a flock of terrified birds. The next, a torrential acidic rain. Thousands of frightened spirits were fighting for control. My identity kept shifting and changing. It was at the mercy of whoever was strongest in that moment.

This went on for days. Until my friends pulled together to pull me from this mountain of spirits. Their efforts ended with a friend force-feeding me a drink that suppressed my powers.

[Vyng swallows hard. Having his spiritual connections snuffed, even temporarily, had resulted in a terrible, deafening silence of the soul he never wants to suffer through again. The world's voices were beyond his reach. He couldn't communicate with the air, the water, his plants, any of the creatures still in the Dream, or...anyone else in his life, outside of Sleepers. It was the loneliest he'd been since he was a child.]

I was saved. [He shakes his head to himself, unable to reconcile the sheer waste of it all.] But those spirits were lost.

[ the force. that is the first thing that came to his mind. being so deeply connected to the living force . . . when it splintered, it splintered vyng as well. it is both impressive to harbour and hold such a deep connection with nature itself and a sorrow. sometimes, even the best of intentions can be held back by limitation. ]

They might have been lost anyway, with the way the tide turned. At least they were not alone, for a little while.

And I feel that matters, even in great sorrow.

[There is an element of truth behind Obi-Wan's words. As a druid, Vyng is well-acquainted with the scope of life. Rocks fall, creatures die, and the world keeps turning. Many times, all a person can do is make somebody's painful existence a little more comfortable during their final moments.

But Vyng can't even say he did that.]

My involvement prolonged everyone's suffering. For them, it was a constant battle for dominance because they needed to survive. And for me, the whole thing felt like fighting against a powerful water current, and then...drowning.

It was a horrible, helpless feeling. Even when I accepted it, the very last thing I felt was this awful sense of regret. I wanted to help them. But I was their prison.

So that's why...once I recovered, I went to the Summoning Stones. To change myself. I never wanted to make another living being feel that helpless again.

[Without realizing it, Vyng curls in a little tighter around himself. His fingers dig into the side of the boat with a white-knuckled grip.]

[ obi-wan didn't want to say something pithy. like it was a lesson. that sometimes, we must suffer to grow from it. and even though vyng said he's let it go, that is easier said than done. obi-wan would know. there is always an undercurrent of regret. ]

Do you believe you have? Changed yourself, I mean.

[Vyng's muscles are still tense. It might look like he's gazing at where the water laps against the canoe's hull, but his eyes are unfocused. Like his thoughts have drifted to another world.]

My shapeshifting is broken now.

[That much, at least, he knows.]

I knew it, the moment I collapsed into my friend's arms. I felt it. I still feel it.

It hurts.

[ ah. ]

Do you want to fix it?

I don't know.

[His response is immediate. Vyng has asked himself that question many times before. There is no easy answer.]

If I was the only one who got hurt, I think...I could live without it. It might even be for the best, you know? This kind of power isn't usually concentrated to a single shapeshifter back home. It would be too much for one vessel to contain. And believe me, I've fucked up my world lots, just by accident.

[That last sentence is punctuated with a hint of a rueful smile, before it fades away.]

But my shapeshifting has always been a two-way street. A partnership between me and countless other beings. There is no such thing as only one getting hurt.

Then I suppose it's part of a much longer conversation. If you think you deserve to have it back, if you feel you should be healed or not. And those are answers only you can have for yourself.

In my experience, being in pain doesn't amount to much. There is no penance, no atonement that comes from it. It is just . . . pain.

Letting it go may not fix it, but all things must heal. Isn't that part of nature itself?

[All things must heal, true. But they seldom go back to how they were. That is the nature of all things. And yet, to ask himself whether he deserves to be whole again...it's not as simple as that.]

That's the thing. It's not just about me, pal. It's—

[A cold knot tightens in the pit of Vyng's stomach. Like he's staring into some dark chasm, rooted in place with fear. Stuck, unable to progress.]

I don't even remember what happened. [It's the first time he's admitted as much, out loud.] I just...have a bad feeling, that a bunch of spirits got hurt in the process.

[ hmm. memory work is tricky. not really obi-wan's forte, though he could help assist it. ]

Do you feel you should remember in order to heal?

Can a person heal without acknowledging the problem?

[It seems like trying to dress a wound you can't even see.]

It depends on whether it is an acknowledgement or a punishment. It can be a difficult line to tread.

Vyng's face brightens with a grateful smile. Gently, he reaches out an arm and collects a few glistening pebbles into the palm of his pale hand. They'll make a nice collection for one of his jars.

Once he's secured the stones inside one of his flaps, Vyng offers Luca a thumbs up. His hair is still framed by his wild gray hair, his clothes are weighed down by the water, but there's something peaceful about this exchange. Healing, even.

"You know, I could see it going either way."

On one hand, Remnant sounds like a brutal place. On the other, Oscar's I'm-but-a-simple-farmlad vibe paints a picture of a quiet, peaceful life...before getting caught up in an ill-timed adventure with a bunch of grown-up fuck-ups, anyway. (Sometimes it's just like that, though!)

Vyng can't see the frown on Oscar's face (being a fire and all). But he senses the boy's discomfort. It's hard not to. Vyng can relate to it a bit himself.

He hadn't realized Auras and Semblances or whatever managed to keep everyone from getting too cut-up, though. That's convenient.

"Do what feels right to you," Vyng says, flames steadily licking the air. "That's the important thing. I'm not too jazzed about blood stuff either, so...I guess we're both figuring it out as we go, huh?"

"Yeah. I guess we are."

The gentle words were enough to help Oscar set his worries aside and smile-- even if Vyng the Bonfire couldn't see it, he hoped that the warmth of it was enough of a clue, like the warmth of the flames were for Oscar.

"...I'm planning on enrolling in the school to see if there's anything I can learn from the books, but I don't know of that's all this place is about. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine... I guess called to me? It's hard to describe, but I was able to enter his dream and help him with his troubles."

He shook his head.

"If that kinda thing is possible, I doubt that the books have everything. They're having trouble understanding some of the problems here, too. So, I can't help but wonder if there isn't a different way of looking at the whole picture here?"

When does it become a punishment, though?

[With Vyng's current hyper-awareness, he's soon distracted by ripples in the energy flowing between them — evoking the imagery of fish that briefly thrashes in the waters of an otherwise still pond, before diving back under. Maul appears to be the source.

He lets out a slow breath, before cracking an eye open.]

What's going on over there?

[Whatever if it is, Vyng gets the sense it's related to the uneasy feeling that coils in the pit of his stomach when he's around Maul sometimes. Not anxiety, fear, or anger...but certainly a distinct push-and-pull between them and their surroundings. Vyng hasn't felt anything quite like it before.]

Well, eels are slippery. And you said I wasn't bending anymore. Buuuut if I used the water in my gills to make my body slippery, then I could've been the one that got away!

[Why you laughing, Mako? Vyng is being 100 percent serious here.]

This is fun, though. [He grins, glad his friend seems to be taking a load off for once.] Thanks for training with me, pal.

[More like dicking around, but shhh.]

Music bottles, actually. But people will still sign deals with producers. Somebody's gotta handle the actual recording and distributing, you know?

[He chuckles at the name.]

Very clever.

[With a half-lidded smile, he adds:]

You know, my buddy and I got a bar here. Maybe you and I could meet after closing time one night, eh? Mix some spirits, make a little magic. You seem like somebody who could show me a thing or two.

"Fine, fine," Vyng says with a breezy, flippant tone. "If I'm not cute and furry enough for you, that's all you've gotta say."

Maybe the guy's annoyed from being left out of the conversation. Vyng has an unfortunate habit of doing that to humans.

September & October Catch-All

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