September & October Catch-All

[spiritwalks]

Who: Vyng spiritwalks and YOU
What: Catch-All for September + October. See comments for prompts!
When: Various
Where: Various

Note: Style veers wildly between prose and brackets. Just choose whatever style feels good when responding, and I'll match it ♥

Content Warnings: Listed in subject lines when applicable

Comments

[survivalthroughhate]

No. Still alive currently back in my own galaxy. I have been told he will die in the future but I will unfortunately be dead by that point.

[Ah, the complications that came with time-traveling, people from the future showing up, and all the other shenanigans that this place could get up to. Still, Maul does sound quite satisfied at even just knowing that Sidious will die at all. He's been afraid the old man never would, just go on ruling the galaxy forever and ever until the end of time.]

[spiritwalks]

You'll be dead too? [Vyng quietly frowns.] Did they say what happened?

[An insensitive question, maybe. But Vyng doesn't always have the most tact, and he can't help but ask. Besides, he's pretty sure most Sleepers have died at least once. It's basically a given at this point, right?]

[survivalthroughhate]

One of the apprentices he takes after me eventually betrays him when he tries to kill his son. [Maul sounds very satisfied with the future he has yet to behold.] He never has understood the loyalty and love that binds families together and never will. It shall be a fatal mistake for him.

[spiritwalks]

[His question was about Maul, not about his old master. But Vyng doesn't correct him. Instead, he notes the satisfaction behind Maul's words and gives a sympathetic nod.]

We reap what we sow. Sounds like he treated people like tools...until he finally became the tool's tool and got his ass handed to him.

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul nods slowly.]

A very good way to put it. And why I have been trying not to do the same.

[Maul knows anger and vengeance will only end in an empty life for him, so he's determined to do better while he's here in Trench.]

[spiritwalks]

Yeah? [Vyng regards him curiously.] How's it been going?

[Sounds like a radical shift from the life Maul knew before. Even if he's moving in a healthier — and, as Maul notes, a more practical — direction, he can't imagine it's been an easy transition.]

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul moves his hand back and forth in a 'so-so' motion.]

I do my best. But it is easy to backtrack when my entire life has been spent looking out for myself and my own interests rather than others.

[Maul's got a lot of people here who are looking out for him and helping him along the path of redemption but it's not easy. So often, he's liable to backtrack into what's quick and easy for him instead of trying to what's right and just.]

I don't want to be a good person. I don't think I'm ever going to be good. But a better person...perhaps that I can manage.

[spiritwalks]

What's your idea of "better"?

[Different people are going to have different definitions, obviously. And in places like Deerington or Trench, Vyng can see how progress won't necessarily be linear.]

[survivalthroughhate]

[He pauses and thinks on that hard. Maul's not good with talking about abstract concepts. There's a reason he's a much more physical being in nature, used to getting what he wanted through force or using his skills as an assassin.

When he speaks, the words come slowly and haltingly.]

I suppose...I don't want to always have to hurt and kill people to get what I need or want. I want to protect and help those I care about without having to worry that someday I'll need to kill them for some reason. I've only ever cared about a handful of people before in my own galaxy but here...I have formed actual connections with people and have become friends with them. That isn't always a good thing, you seem cognizant enough to realize love can be as toxic and destructive an emotion as something like anger can be. I've done my best to kill people when they hurt those I care about. It's easy to slip back into the idea of murder in those moments. But so many here believe I can be redeemed, and while I don't think that process will have a set end goal of ending up on the Light Side, I at least think their faith is not completely misplaced.

[This is the first time Maul has really put into words what he actually sees his end goal as on the path of redemption that so many of his friends are helping him to walk. He's not looking to become a "good person" in the sense that he sees people like Usagi and Obi-Wan are. But better is something he can strive for, someone who isn't just a destructive force of nature, a weapon meant for killing.]

[spiritwalks]

[Vyng waits, patiently, for Maul to sort through his thoughts and give them a voice. That he's managed to form meaningful connections is a promising, essential piece to his journey. No doubt those relationships give him the motivation he needs to change at all.]

You have faith in their faith. You understand hurting others won't end well for you. You're willing to find alternatives for getting what you want.

[All contrary to the me-first, survival-of-the-fittest mentality his abusive teacher instilled in him. Vyng nods in quiet acknowledgement of the strides he's already been making and says:]

You've come a long way, Maul.

[survivalthroughhate]

[Too often, Maul bristles when people congratulate him on how far he's come in his path of redemption, especially when they've already made it clear they don't like him. It feels condescending to him, like someone saying 'Here, doggie! Have a bone for being a good boy!' But he doesn't get the sense that Vyng is like that at all. If anything, the Druid seems to get his personality, mindset, and past better than many people who have known Maul far longer in the city do.]

From you, I shall take that as a compliment.

[Maul's eyes soften up just a little bit.]

You are not nearly as much of a fool as I first mistook you for.