deercountry | ( CLOSED ) BITE MY TONGUE.

[ pfft.

his caution and concern would be valid if he was human. but nothing can mar that mop of hair and that nice chest. ]

You're a vampire who can heal instantly. What's a little spatter of grease?

You realize that it still hurts, don't you?

( yes, he knows he'd heal but it would still sting. )

I've already got my shirt on, Katherine, so you're just going to have to suffer the pain of me wearing my shirt.

Ugh! [ when that doesn't sound pained enough, she presses her forehead between his shoulder blades and growls a little louder. ] Ugh! Some birthday.

[ while she does know his shirt will be coming off later, well… she's old and impatient. she wants it off now. ]

Fine. I'll be patient. But I won't be happy about it.

You are the most impatient person I've ever known and that's saying something.

( he has known a lot of people, katherine, so you've topped a very prestigious list. )

You'll get everything you want in time.

[ she makes a disgruntled noise behind him. yada, yada, yada! there's no need to throw being right in her face! ]

Before I turn five hundred and fifty?

[ that's pretty soon! ]

You realize that if you keep it up, I'm going to take every single present and burn them.

( don't test him. )

And all you'll get for your birthday is the thought of presents.

So… there's more than one.

[ that can only mean one thing…

she squeezes him in excitement. ]

Shoes!

Do you think I would really try and buy you shoes?

( despite knowing what she likes, he still doesn't really trust himself to buy her the right kind of shoes. he laughs though at her excitement. )

I don't know if I'm good enough to buy the right type.

[ mumbling against his back, ] You're not wrong there.

[ stefan can't be trusted to pick the best shoes. what if he picks a style that she already has? or that clashes with the rest of her clothing? this is why katherine needs to shoe shop. it's important. ]

If it's not shoes, then… Ooo! [ she smiles against his back. ] I think I know what it could be.

Oh yeah?

( well, that intrigues him. he glances over his shoulder at her. )

What do you think it could be?

[ katherine purposefully hides her face in between his shoulder blades so he can't see her. she giggles, purposefully loudly, and shakes her head so that he can feel it against his shirt. ]

I don't think I'll tell you. What if it ruins the surprise?

[ and she knows him by now. he'll be a pest and decide to change her gift at the last minute. ]

Really? You're turning that on me?

( stefan sounds dry and amused. he shakes his head. she will never guess what he got her even if she started naming things off and went for several decades. )

Tell me what you think I got you because I guarantee you'll be wrong.

[ she scoffs. katherine rests her chin against his back and hums as she regards the back of his head. he needs a little trim. she'd tell him as much if it meant she got her answers.

she mutters, ] Journals.

( stefan chuckles, leaning back and kissing the side of her head. )

No journals this time.

( he didn't want to give those too often and have their meaning be muted with time. )

You aren't going to guess what I got you but I like that you're trying.

[ she sighs heavily and sadly, slumping against him dramatically. this is the worst news anyone could ever receive on their big birthday. ]

Then what's the point of gifts if it's not your journals!?

[ see how highly she regards them, stef? ]

Katherine, if you're not careful, I won't give you anything at all.

( it's the thought that counts! be grateful, katherine. )

I can just save the gifts for another time.

For my five hundred and fiftieth. I expect some fanfare.

[ like two journals and maybe an invitation to go buy a pair of shoes and a bag to match. she'll work him on that one over the next year.

hugging him to her, she rests her cheek against his back and sighs quietly. ]

As long as you end up shirtless by the end of the day, I'll be happy.

[ such a simple old lady. ]

I'm sure that'll happen. But be patient with your gifts. I got you some things and the day is still young.

( they'll get there. )

I give them to you now and you're not gonna wanna do anything else because you'll be bored of me.

I wouldn't say that.

[ this would be the perfect time to insult him, but katherine kisses the back of his shirt and reluctantly steps away from him to sidle up to his side. ]

It just means you'd have to find another way to entertain me, is all. [ she smiles at him. ]

I've got board games.

( he's not intending to use them but he's got them. )

We could play a cutthroat game of Monopoly.

I would kick your ass at Monopoly.

[ she regards him with an amused pointed look. and, no, it's not because she cheats. it's simply because she's katherine pierce. ]

Besides… I much rather Go Fish. Simple, yet a classic.

[ like her. ]

Really? Go Fish seems kinda boring for you.

( not enough action and the like. )

It's a classic! [ katherine adds reluctantly, ] And it's only boring if you're with the wrong player.

[ it says a lot that she thinks he'll be a riveting go fish player. take the compliment. ]

It's okay if you're afraid to lose.

Please.

( stefan rolls his eyes at her. )

I'm not afraid to lose because I won't lose. I'm an expert Go Fish player.

[ katherine smiles, pleased. she slaps him on the ass in happiness. peering at what he's cooking, she seems a little lighter on her feet now that he's promised to play such a human and mundane game with her.

she remains leaning against the counter, smiling up at him. ]

Then we'll play—after we eat. It's best you don't lose on an empty stomach, Stef.

( CLOSED ) BITE MY TONGUE.

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