deercountry | june/july catch-all!

Mm. [ Sasuke nods with the grunt, looking over to him. ] Seems like it would be foolish in this place to not.

[ He rolls his shoulders, the weight still there and aching, and now with a possibly more solid explanation behind it. As though he didn't always have upper back pain from carrying the weight of his clan's honor on his shoulders, but this is DIFFERENT. ]

Weird how?

[ yeah, sasuke . . . that’s not your honor!! ]

I tapped him to see if he was okay and we got, like . . . Transported. [ he doesn’t know where, but: ] To a dream town. Do you wanna try?

Edited 2022-07-03 11:58 (UTC)

[ Transported. Sasuke hesitates, because he's had too much experience with being brought into other peoples heads via genjutsu for his liking, and he's not sure what it would look like in his own, but he's 90% sure it's not pleasant.

But he wants this thing off his back. So he finally nods. ]

[ here we go . . . shoyo needs just a moment to mentally prepare, steel his mind, erect his back and feel ready for what he would see— even if he'll probably never be ready.

raising his arm once he exhales and relaxes himself, shoyo taps and keeps his hand on sasuke's shoulder. in a warping blink, where they were has changed: it's the nightmare the devil is hiding in. ]

[ Sasuke closes his eyes for a moment; these sorts of things are always disorienting, no matter how many times he does them. He keeps them closed even once they're inside his nightmare, because he's not actually sure he wants to see what's around him.

It isn't anything from when he was little, though. No signs of his village or the murders of his clan. Instead, when he opens his eyes, they're in the Valley of the End. The place of his final battle with Naruto. Only things aren't quite the same as they were then. The place is still as destroyed as it was, but it's not him bleeding out on a rock somewhere. Instead it's his friends— Team 7 and Team Taka both —who are lying in the water, bleeding and clearly not moving.

He swallows roughly as he stares at the scene and it's only when he looks away that he realizes he's different too. Sasuke has both of his arms in this nightmare world, and its his hands that are covered in blood. His sword that is stuck through Karin's middle. He closes his eyes again, taking a breath. The nightmare creature is standing on the rocks above them, clearly smug in its own creation. ]

... This really works?

[ oh, crap— it even smells like blood, of suffocating irons and the humid slush of water particles in the air. shoyo catches the sight as he simulates himself to their new surroundings, and immediately turns his head away. he's not good at this, but he's gotten better. he uses clear breathing exercises to remain calm and focused on what they were doing, successfully keeping a fit of nausea down to nothing but an uncomfortable chill in his stomach that raises the hair at his neck.

he can't help to follow the striking color on sasuke's hands, though. it might've been . . . better, so long as he didn't keep looking at it and thinking too much about what it was. thick, red blood, all coming from buoyant dead bodies.

shoyo gasps when he finds what sasuke's finds: the demon on the rocks. ]

There it— Ah, yeah! The one I saw was hiding in a paper bag, and, [ he thinks on it; it's different, here. the demon is already exposing itself. what do they need to do, then? ] do we have to fight it?

Edited 2022-07-07 18:54 (UTC)

[ Sasuke's almost proud of him for not puking or fainting or even freezing up the way he might have when he was younger and still unused to this sort of thing. Even seeing his clan dead had never prepared him for the violence that his life had eventually become filled with.

He frowns slightly at the question. He supposes he'd been hoping since Shoyo had managed to go through this with his boyfriend, perhaps he'd know better than he would. But the suggestion is worth checking and Sasuke makes a few shuriken appear in his hand with a summoning technique, electrifying them with a quick blast of elemental jutsu before he throws them at the demon.

It doesn't even bother trying to dodge, letting the stars hit its body, and Sasuke almost immediately knows why. He feels the stab and shock of it in his own chest and arms and he ends up kneeling in the bloody water from the pain. ]

... I don't think that'll work.

[ It comes out a little ragged, tired even. Of course it's like this. ]

[ shōyō’s attention immediately jumps from the swing of shuriken to sasuke losing the strength of his legs— he’s on it, scrambling to the other’s side. ]

Hey— [ his tone is concerned; quickly, shōyō sifts through his memory. what was it that they did to get out? ] Do you know . . . Who did all this?

[ His fists clench under the water, gripping stone and earth. God, that's a question. He knows the answer and he hates it, even if he also knows these aren't real memories.

But they could have been. And they were for all the friends and family who survived the people he'd killed over the years. ]

I did.

[ shoyo shouldn't be surprised, when sasuke was a ninja to begin with— trained assassins. killing was part of the job. the reality of it never actually hit him until now, and shoyo's features strain, and wane. his throat feels dry, but he knows he's not going anywhere. he doesn't want to.

part of him doesn't want to believe it either. ]

They're your enemies?

[ The person he was in the past was someone he'd hoped to never have to truly acknowledge here, but this place seems determined to make that impossible. He can't stop the bitter sounding chuckle that escapes him at the question, his head lifting so he can look at Naruto's body laying so still near by. ]

My friends. Teammates.

[ shoyo can feel his weight sitting back more heavily against his ankles, how cold his brow feels now that sweat begins to bead and cling to his temple. he doesn't move, and he resists the urge to look at what's around them. ]

So you didn't . . . Mean to do this.

[ the right? is implied. ]

[ Of course that's what he assumes. That's what any decent person would assume because most can't fathom murdering the people you love most in the world. He closes his eyes tightly, a lump forming in his throat that's hard to talk around, and his stomach feels like it's doing somersaults. ]

I did. I mean, I didn't. This isn't real. It isn't right. I never succeeded. I— [ His jaw clenches and he shakes his head, not knowing how to put it without making himself sound like a monster.

But he can tell that the demon is weakening just from the little talking he's done. He hates that, like everything else in this place, being honest about his past is what's necessary to defeat the evils that plague him.

Fucking forced therapy that's what this shit is. ]

But I tried to. I wanted to kill of them. I got close more than once. They were just always strong enough to save each other.

[ the icy sensation at the bottom of his stomach spreads. i never succeeded. alarming. devastatingly alarming, because that meant that there were still chances taken. real attempts. but until today, sasuke only speaks highly of these friends.

saying it's a bit scary is dampening it generously. but the reason why he's still here and not booking it is because of what sasuke has shown him until now. what he has done. there're mistakes, genuine mistakes in the past, and this seems like one of them. it's only something he'd see in media, never something he'd come face to face with. ]

What'd they do for you to want that—?

[ Sasuke's quiet for longer than is probably comfortable. He knows opening up at this point is the only way to defeat this thing, he can feel the demon's grip on him fading, but... There's a fear in being honest. In spilling the motives of his past and the things he'd done. Maybe his long-term friends who had known him in Konoha had understood, but how would Shoyo see him as anything other than a monster?

He'll have every right to, every reason to stop taking lessons from him, to stop talking to him altogether. Sasuke's convinced himself he doesn't need anyone, but the idea of losing the connections he's gained here is apparently as terrifying as this nightmare has been.

The only thing that pushes him forward is he can tell that this demon would win in the end. It would kill him, and he promised Sakura he'd do everything he could to not die. ]

They loved me. [ Sasuke's voice is quiet, almost flat, and he can't look up at Shoyo from where he's still kneeling in the water. Meeting his eyes is an impossible task. ] Seeing your loved ones die or... Or killing them yourself... It makes my eye jutsu more powerful. And I wanted power. I wanted to become strong enough to destroy the village. I wanted to make them pay for everything they did to my family. I wanted to— I just wanted to be alone.

[ the demon up there, looking down on them from a high standing rock just . . . seems a lot smaller, now. less menacing, for sure. if that's really what they're seeing, then, what they're doing is working. what they're talking about is real, what sasuke is saying has impact.

shoyo straightens his back, closes his eyes, and takes a calming breath in. ]

I'm guessing . . . [ shoyo would possibly never understand wanting to be alone. it was the last thing he wanted. the last thing he assumes anyone wants. maybe it hurt too much, but— he doesn't want to be alone anymore. he's telling him all of this to begin with. he's being honest even if he's kind of being driven to. he could always hang out forever in nightmare land. ] That's what got you to change your mind, huh.

[ and if he wasn't clear: ]

Love.

[ Love. The word has always been so complicated for him. An emotion he felt so deeply, but pushed away at all costs. The Curse of Hatred had made it a terrifying thing to feel. To love someone so deeply that it ultimately drove you insane. That was what it meant to be an Uchiha for so long. It's hard to imagine that Naruto's dedication to him, his love, was ultimately what broke that curse as well.

His fists clench under the water again, digging into the bed of the river. ]

I don't know. I guess. It took nearly killing each other to get me to finally listen. Sakura's the only reason we didn't bleed out on these stupid rocks.

[ He feels himself tip slightly as the arm he'd gained in the nightmare suddenly disappears, leaving the bloodied stump he'd had at the end of the battle. He grits his teeth, but steadies himself after a moment. ]

Don't be fooled into thinking I deserved that kind of dedication. I was a terrorist. I killed others, even if I didn't kill them. They should have let me die.

[ so this was where— sauske lost his arm. by means of brawl and turmoil, and for a second shoyo is actually relieved he doesn't have to see it in full. this was good enough for his comprehension. ]

Maybe you didn't deserve it. [ but— he came back from it. there's remorse. he keeps this bloodied past buried, and to shoyo? it looks like he doesn't wish to go back to it. he doesn't want to be here. why would he? he knows what the good stuff is, no soul would want to let it go after love sank its claws in deep enough and made chaos feel like peace. ] But that's not going to stop me from thinking your work deserves something today.

Plus— You have kickass friends.

[ Sasuke would normally want to argue, but he can't argue someone else's thoughts on a subject. Or the fact that his friends are kickass, no matter how often he calls them useless idiots. He knows it's not true, just like he knows it isn't true when he says it about Shoyo. There's a pang in his chest because of how much his words sound exactly like something Naruto would say, reminding him why he'd ended up drawn to the other man in general.

He swallows, looking over to the bodies of his friends, ones that are slowly fading into less distinguishable figures as his mind tries to ease out of the nightmare. ]

Yeah. I guess I do.

[ where's that little devil guy anyway—? gone for good, he hoped? sasuke looked better. more at ease with himself as the nightmare around them begins to look less and less like something that can get them.

he claps the ninja's shoulder and gives it an amiable little shake. ]

Glad that we can agree I'm kickass.

[ that was a joke. ]

[ There's the slightest twitch of a smile at the corner of his lips at that, one that he doesn't allow to fully form. He shakes his head slightly as he tries to push himself up from the water, his stump no longer bleeding and slowly starting to feel like the same one he's gotten used to in the real world. ]

You sound just like that loser sometimes.

[ He pauses before he reaches out to tap Shoyo's forehead lightly with two of his fingers. A sign of affection he hasn't granted to many people in his life. ]

Seems like you figured out how to defeat this thing.

[ —!! oh! oh?! a boop! the long lost cousin of the hair ruffle! and he sounds like that loser, well— he already knows that's a compliment! he has the best sensei—!! it might hurt to grin all the way, his burned lips are strained when his teeth flash, but it's better to endure. you just can't stop sunshine smiles. ]

You did a great job too, y'know! Remember when you said you were bad at talking?

[ his heart. he's so proud of you. ]

june/july catch-all!

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cw for death imagery and talks of murder

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HAHAh...a...this is fine, thanks

i'm ready to inhale

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cw for magical limb loss what

sasuke does sasuke man

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