deercountry | June catch-all and Return of the Boy (OPEN)

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June catch-all and Return of the Boy (OPEN)

Who: Lance (

azurestar)
What: June catch-all. Return from deer-hood.
When: All June. Boy returns first week.
Where: Forest, around town.

Content Warnings: depression, ptsd, nightmare demon, throat wound, house fire, will add as they appear

( ooc: Lance has spent most of April and May in his deer form, for those unfamiliar: the ability to transform into a deer is something some characters from Deerington obtained via death and a special event. There are consequences to transforming too often: you lose yourself more and more. This is what has happened to Lance over the course of the last 2 months. Pulling Lance out of this state is reserved for Keith alone, but there is a prompt to interact with him in the midst of this predicament. )

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WEEK 1

i. [This is the last time he was human. For a brief few hours at the start of June. The constant retreating into his deer form to escape from the loss of Hunk, of... just, so much, has increasingly caused him to become detached and not all there even when he's human. He's having trouble figuring out what he is, where he is, when he is... sometimes he feels like he's straddling two worlds at once, or drifting between spaces in time. He can be found on the first day of June for a short handful of hours wandering at any random hour of the day or night, looking almost like he's sleepwalking. It'll be difficult to get him to focus on you as he seems to keep staring off placidly at something else in the distance. He may even struggle to remember you. If there's any danger from beast or villain about to harm him, he doesn't seem aware at all no matter how much noise is made, even when you swoop in to save him.

And when those short handful of hours pass, he's slipping back into the form of a deer. If you've interacted with him in this form before, you'd have noted there was a sentient self awareness behind his big eyes. Now they are dull, he looks and acts so much like a real deer that it's likely disturbing and frightening to those who know better. He can be found mostly on the outskirts of the city in Trenchwood, and much like a real deer, he's rather skittish so approach carefully if you come upon him in this form instead of as a human.]

ii. [It's the end of the first week of June, and he's been pulled out of his deer fugue. If you'd happened upon him in his disconnect and/or or as a deer at any point in the last two months, the difference is striking. He's self aware, he's more present, but he's not completely back to himself ether. There's a lot of holes in his memory, things completely missing and slow to return, or in some cases, perhaps never to return. And he still has moments where he stares off at something far away or through someone. But it's momentary and he shakes his head to clear it of his own accord here and there.

To keep himself present and grounded, he's trying to go out to public spaces and engage. So of course, that means he'll be all over Willful Machine and Cellar Door especially. Catch him in the markets either noticing a thief trying to steal or falling into one of his detached moments and a thief taking advantage at that moment. Or find him in Earworm at the bar partaking in a little bit of alcohol and watching people dance, and after a few drinks, he'll get into a breakdancing contest with someone, but he's kind of fumbling a bit like Bambi, which is uncharacteristic, it's almost like he's still trying to figure out how to walk on two legs...]

( ooc: feel free to assume he wanders into any venue if you have an idea for a prompt. You may also assume/handwave that your character ran into Lance while he was in a similar state to prompt 1 at any point in the month of May. Including the Karate Tournament because he was involved in that. )

DREAMS and HOLES

i. [But of course yanking himself out of the deer dream, nightmares return in full. At first, he doesn't think much of it because he has them all the time anyway. But he seems to be more prone to waking nightmares now, they come on when he has his intermittent fugue states that still come along in the wake of nearly losing himself to being a deer. That's… not so usual.

Find Lance around town, sometimes seemingly frozen in the middle of a task and seeming to stare placidly into the middle distance. Maybe he was already talking to you or just saying hi, or in the middle of checking the hooves of the horse he's taken for a ride through town. Try to shake him out of it or perhaps come upon him as he's coming out of it with a strangled gasp on his own and shakily rubs at his face, trying to stay on his feet. His voice is hoarse, tone a weak attempt at dark humor.]

…Remind me why I didn't just stay a deer again…

[Or perhaps he happens upon you in the opposite predicament after he's been rid of his own demon, or is suffering the same. He'll approach with a slight notch in his brows, not looking entirely sure of himself in his own body, but not able to ignore your obvious plight.] …You okay?

ii. [He was a deer at the time when the earth started to shake and standing right where one of the ice cavers opened. He was so terrified on all levels both human and animal, he bolted so far out into the forest that he got lost for a good while. More lost than he already was, anyway. And if anyone tried to enter in the holes in that first week and he was nearby, you would have heard a loud elk screech in protest echoing through the trees. But he wouldn't come anywhere near that hole from where he stood watching you from afar, moving restlessly in fear, like the hole is a rabid bear.

Once he's human again, his reaction is not so frightened, and he doesn't seem to remember the holes at all from when he was a deer. He comes upon one for the first time as a human closer to town. He stops, stares, seems frozen and caught in another fugue. Then he turns on his heel and starts to walk away.]

Nope! no, nah-uh. No way. Not happening. Bye.

[Perhaps you really want him to come down there with you because you've been bitten by the adventure bug, or you agree. Regardless, he has very strong feelings about holes and there is a story there. Whether he will tell it or not probably depends on you. The real challenge is getting him in there if you're looking to try.]

SPIRITS

i. [At first he thought the spirits were his usual hallucinations. He tends to see people he loves and misses and has regrets of all the time in flashes and lingering moments all the time anyway. But just like the nightmares that started to get more harrowing and happen during the day, he does eventually figure out this might not be just his usual crazy.

It's more vivid than usual when he sees Hunk going through the food stalls like any other day in Willfull Machine, picking out the best crops out of what scarce ones there are. He hasn't hallucinated in that much vivid detail or color or in such an ordinary way in… it's hard to say, his memories are still messed up since he nearly lost himself to his deer form. After staring hard for a long moment, he'll reach out without looking to the first person he can, gripping their ar,]

Do you see a big guy with an orange headband over there or am I losing my mind? …Again.

ii. [It's not just Hunk, he also sees pretty much everyone else as well. The hardest is Allura, because of course Allura is there. Of course, she appears as the ghost she was in her last moments caught in a loop. His memories are a patchwork of of holes, and the ones around that time in his life… one of the worst times, are the most shattered. But that image he will never be allowed to forget in full, it seems.

It's when he's out and about when he sees her against a building wall and he has to stumble back into another wall as it knocks the breath out of him. Tunnel vision takes hold and he can barely breath, breaths short and shallow. He looks like a frozen terrified deer caught in headlights just waiting for the oncoming collusion and unable to think enough through the terror to move.]

iii. [If he still had lingering doubts about if the ghosts are a product of his own mind or something else, they certainly dissipate when Chloe's ghost starts wrecking his living room. Bolin's not at home, thankfully, or he's pretty sure his friend would freak out and make it a lot harder to calm her down. He doesn't know how or why he knows what to do, but when she throws a table outside the front window and he trips over himself falling out of the window as well, he gets up, ignoring any glass piece in his skin and just starts talking.

To a passersby, this might look like a domestic dispute and his parter is inside the house throwing all his things out on the lawn after he cheated or something. He dodges an old musty lamp getting tossed out onto the street and people are starting to stare…]

H-hey, Chloe. Remember… remember that time I came over to your house and flew the Red Lion to your window? I offered to show you the world, but you were too cool to get on my magic lion carpet ride… or I think that's how it went.

[His memory is still such a mess, so he's not entirely sure. But maybe that is indeed how it went because there's a pause in the throwing of things. Is that a good thing or bad thing he wonders…]

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[Keith froze when he noticed the backing up, waiting to see if the deer would run... but he didn't, so, after a moment, he started getting closer again. His hand still outstretched in case the drive the sniff was strong in Lance.]

It's okay. I just wanna help you, man. Okay? Let me help.

[He trembles slightly and looks torn, or as torn and conflicted as a deer's face can look. But he doesn't move, just stooping his head even lower. He's not able to use the stars in his antlers on himself… he thinks. Actually, he hasn't put a lot of thought into it, mostly he's been operating on instinct.

But he's not running still. Keith may even be able to touch him without him running, though he will jerk.]

[By now, Keith had gotten close enough. Gently... almost gingerly... he did place his hand on the deer's shoulder. He did pull back again when Lance jerked under his touch, but he didn't move from his spot and did his best to hopefully not spook him worse.]

It's okay. You know me. [He pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth for a second, almost chewing on it before trying again.] See? [He remembered vaguely that Lance had been able to communicate with rough telepathy as a deer, but he wasn't sure if that was working at the moment. Plus, Keith's memories from that fight were kind of weird, because he distinctly remembered a weird four legged monster with horns, and another one with some iron hand that kept roaring and snarling at him as they fought in Blue's house before suddenly they were Lance's deer form and Shiro again. He tried not to think too hard about it.

Either way, he thought he remembered Lance projecting words into his head at some point that day...]

Can you... can you talk?

[Can he…? The words have meaning to a distant part of his mind. Right now he understands emotional vibration more than words. And the vibration he is getting from Keith is familiarity, trust and deep down inside his own self, something soft and pained, wounded.

He trembles and a distressed sound can be heard come from deep in his chest. But it's the kind of distressed that tentatively begs for help even if he doesn't know what he needs help with, he just knows he's erratic, confused, in pain both emotional and physical. And in front of him is a being that brings forth mixed emotions but above all trust and he has to lean on that.]

Come on. Let me help you?

[Keith wanted to take a look at that leg and see if he could do something to help him out with it. If he could get at least that far, then maybe that would open up a door or something into talking Lance back into human form. As he'd been asking around if people had seen him, someone had mentioned the deer forms were protective in a way... some sort of retreat from difficult times instead of turning to beasthood. If that was the case, and Lance was still in there, then Keith figured he might be able to get him back to normal...

He just wasn't so sure how.]

[Lance has explained it to a few people who asked after seeing him transform back and forth, it would not surprise him that word has circulated amongst the locals and others. For now, he has almost no memory of that, of speaking and being apart of a society…

In response to the question, he just tilts his head. As time passes and he gets used to Keith's vibrations, understanding of words sort of trickles in. He gets the general concept of what is being said in a way he can't explain. For a long time he just silently stands there and then almost entirely without realizing it, he thinks: 'ok'.

And the thought is faintly projected outward, it'll sound like a faint whisper as opposed to something more clear and intentional like how he used to communicate before in this form.]

[Keith lowered his head slightly as he had to really think on if he'd actually heard that in his mind, but then he transitioned it into a nod.]

Okay.

[He reached into his bag as he moved to check that injured leg, still being careful and gentle. He didn't want to spook Lance into running off. The tension was palpable. He crouched down, and carefully pulled some bandages from the pack to carefully try cleaning the wound.]

It might hurt... but I'm just trying to help, okay? Don't be scared.

[But he is scared. On some level, he understands well enough to be confused by that. He's so scared of so much. Of more loss of more pain, receiving and causing. A recent memory of being on the beach, burning up with human hands, mourning a brother comes to his mind's eye.

He starts to tremble in anticipation of pain and overwhelmed feelings and confusion and conflict. But he doesn't run, he feels frozen here, locked in place by something he can't explain.

'Can't.']

[Keith wasn't sure what Lance was trying to tell him... but he just carefully worked on treating the wound.]

It's fine. You don't have to say anything right now.

[It didn't take long. Keith was pretty adept at first aid, at least. Though, doing this on a deer was new. But, he'd done it on Kosmo a few times as needed, so it wasn't that much different, right?

There... it was at least cleaned and covered.]

I um... I can't do much more than that... [He came back around to stand in front of Lance.] Those stars... you can't heal yourself with them, can you?

[It aches, what Keith is doing, but on a deep level he does understand that it has to be done as more of his human self trickles back. His leg is sore, but it doesn't hurt as much now that it's been tended to. He stays still, muscles and ears twitching regularly with how much he's trying to process.

Then Keith is standing back in front of him, and he likes that better than before he thinks. Being able to see him. The question is oddly one that doesn't confuse him as it's in relation to his deer-hood. He shakes his head in response, a rather human gesture he hasn't done in a while. And for some reason, there's a pang of melancholy that comes with acknowledging that limitation and his front hoof paws at the ground as he looks down looking almost troubled.

Why can't he help himself?]

Hey. [Keith reached out, his hand hovering near Lance's nose.] It's okay. We'll figure this out later. Let's just get you somewhere safe, okay?

[Honestly, Keith wasn't sure how far into town he'd be able to get Lance in this state. He knew using Kosmo to teleport him would just likely spook him worse and send him running. For now, if he could at least get him to follow him as far as the barn, that might work as a way to give him a place to rest and heal until he could figure out how to change back.]

Do you trust me? [He knew it was a heavy question right now.] I want to help you, but I need you to come with me.

[Keith's hand over his nose doesn't seems to scare him. Something even Lance recognizes as strange since whenever anyone else has tried to come close and touch him like that, he's instantly bolted without even thinking twice. He hears the words safe and after a moment of realizing what it means, his head hangs ears flicking backwards and legs shaking slightly. Safe doesn't seem possible. But he wants safe.

But is safe the same thing to Keith as it is to him? He doesn't know, and that's unnerving. But then Keith asks him if he trusts him, and there's a jolt of emotion he struggles to put words to deep in his chest. They are warm, even maybe amused and a lot nervous. Scared.

And yet, he knows the answer despite his conflicts. After a moment of tense standing and trembling, he nods his head.]

Okay. [Keith nodded. Softly, almost a whisper...] Thanks.

[He didn't know why, but knowing Lance trusted him, even transformed like this, it felt... comforting... warm. He'd take it.]

Come on. [He started leading Lance along, watching for signs of more pain in that injured leg, for signs of fear, waiting to see if Lance would turn and run away... Kosmo followed as well, staying on the other side of Keith.

As they started moving, Keith gave a quick glance towards the white direwolf who'd helped him find Lance. He nodded to her.]

Thank you for watching him.

[He follows Keith slowly, but more because he's still on edge and there's a lot of emotions and slowly emerging human consciousness than because of his leg. His head is still held a bit low, and his stance looks ready to blot or charge at a moment's notice.

Edelya, the wolf regards Keith and seems to blinks in a way that says 'I always do'. Then she falls in step with Kosmo because he is old friend and pack alpha even if he doesn't remember. Luckily, the journey to the edge of town isn't far, it's getting all the way through the streets and to the barn that's the challenge.]

[Keith did pause at the edge of town. He wondered if getting Lance closer to human would make it easier to get through town. If there was still a heavy deer influence, he'd heard enough about the sightings of the "star-antlered deer" to know he was skittish in this form, prone to animal mind influences. He also vaguely remembered how he'd run off so quickly after the fight at Blue's, but a good portion of that time was still a bit blurry in his head.

He took a deep breath and turned back to face Lance again. Carefully, he put his hand on the deer's shoulder. It was something they as a team did a lot, started mostly by Shiro. Maybe it would help with trying to connect.]

Do you think you can do this? The barn is in town, but it's safe. [As safe as anywhere in this place, really, but...] If we can get there, I can treat your leg wound better.

Unless... maybe... we could figure out how to get you to turn back? [Would he even know that he was supposed to be human at this point? Keith wasn't sure.]

[Turn… back? On some level he is starting to understand more that he isn't actually a deer. Or maybe he is? He isn't human anymore, that is something he feels deep in his core. Or at the very least, he's uncertain of it and has good reason to be. What is he?

Who is he?

The rest of what Keith says needs more digesting, translating in his head. It's overwhelming. The concept of turn back and going into town, a place that's scared him and offered safety. Barn… barn sounds good. It's a word he associates with security and comfort as a human and flashes of being in the barn on Earth and in Deerington flick through his mind's eye. He snorts and tosses his head a little.

'Barn. No town.']

[No town. Right. That was going to be... awkward. Keith took a deep breath, then looked at Kosmo. He kept his hand solidly on Lance's shoulder.]

Okay. I have an idea. But it's going to be kind of sudden. Kosmo can get us to the barn without us having to walk through town. But it's by teleporting.

[He was hoping his meaning was coming through. Lance was seeming to be a little more responsive and understanding the more they interacted, so Keith was hoping he was getting through.]

Do you trust me enough to teleport to the barn?

[He takes a moment to absorb that. It's easier for him to understand now, compared to before. The concept of teleporting is not lost on him, it bubbles up from his human mind that is emerging more and more. It's fuzzy on the details of the experience, but he thinks he likes instant barn better than any other avenue.

And he does trust Keith, he thinks. Even if there's a pain associated with him that he can't explain, it's not the kind that would have him mistrust his intentions. So he nods slow and deliberate, tense.]

[Keith nodded as well. He gestured for Kosmo to come close.]

Let's go, buddy.

[Still with his hand firmly on Lance's shoulder, he used his other hand to touch Kosmo. At the same time, being gentle, Kosmo pressed himself against one of Lance's front legs... then...]

Okay... Now.

[FLASH!]

Easy now-... [Keith immediately moved his hand from Kosmo to Lance, putting both his hands on the deer's shoulder to hopefully keep him calm. But, they were in the barn. With Kaltenecker, and some horses, and just... that sense of familiarity.]

[It's a startling but also strangely familiar experience that digs up a lot of memories flashing in his mind at once. The memories are what startle him the most when they got to the other side ad he stamps his hooves around on the paved ground, backing up a few paces and tossing his head high. The starts blink rapidly as he processes his surroundings, looking around all over and slowly settling.

Keith's hands on him and his voice help keep him grounded, and then it's not long before he's done stamping and flickering. He looks around at the horses and Kaltenecker, eyes sticking on the cow.

'Know her' there's a bit of a confused lilt to the statement because he can't seem to sort out if he knows her as a fellow four legged, hoofed creature or… there's flashes of space, milkshakes, a room that's a field but not.]

Okay. Okay... easy. [Keith managed to avoid the antlers and hooves, at least. That was good. And Lance seemed to slowly begin to calm down as he almost began to recognize the barn. So, that helped to settle Keith's nerves a bit.]

It's okay.

[He looked over at Kaltenecker, and then nodded.]

Yeah. That's Kaltenecker. She's a cow... from home. You and Pidge found her in a space mall. Brought her back to the Castle of Lions.

[Did any of that ring a bell? Please? Keith was hoping.]

[He listens to the explanation as he continues to stare at the cow. Kaltenecker stares back with a bored expression and then bends down to eat more hay. Memories, lots of them. Almost too much to make sense of at once.

But this place is safer and he feels almost like he's in a foggy dream as the Castle of Lions has him immediately turning to look at the back of the barn. There's tall double doors there that lead out to the small yard behind the barn and house.

Almost in a trance, he feels like he's walking through water and fire that doesn't burn all at once as he heads to it and tries to push it open with his antlers. But it's got a bar and lock keeping it shut. The key is hanging on a nail nearby, but he doesn't have hands… a fact he doesn't seem to get as he just keeps pushing at it.]

[Keith also looked at the doors, watching the deer move about like he was trying to indicate something? No... he was trying to do something, but couldn't. Was Lance's human consciousness coming back strong? Keith wasn't sure, but he gingerly moved closer, reaching for the key.]

This? For those doors?

[He headed over that way, watching to see if he was doing the right thing.]

[He's singularly driven to get to the other side of the barrier, so he struggles to really comprehend keys at first. But his human consciousness is rapidly starting to bubble back and Keith's question gets him to stop pushing mindlessly and look at what he's holding. His head tilts to the side and then the other. Then he steps back and waits…

In other words: yes, you have thumbs, do the thing.]

[Okay. He'd take that as a yes, so he moved closer and hoped the keys worked. They did. He pulled the lock off the latch and then opened the doors, pushing at them slowly after dropping the keys and lock into his pocket.]

June catch-all and Return of the Boy (OPEN)

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