kylo ren| ben chewbacca-organa-skywalker-solo (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dyaddyissues) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
deercountry2022-06-12 04:09 am
dyaddyissues) wrote in deercountry2022-06-12 04:09 am
i couldn't stand the person inside me, i turned all the mirrors around
who: kylo ren + you
what: intro and settling in
where: throughout
when: June, around tdm time
I.
Kylo Ren doesn't cope well with being displaced as he is. Not when the Force around him feels... strange. Not quite as full of life, perhaps dull and muted is the word to use? He doesn't know -- he's gotten the introduction, read the leaflet, listened to the chatter on the beach he'd woken up in a body that felt just ever so slightly off. Like a pair of trousers that once fit but needed to be adjusted for whatever reason.
Now that that disorientation had passed, he picked up the bag of his belongings: a sodden cape, leather gloves, the hilt (which goes on his belt) and the broken pieces of the mask (which he nearly throws back into the ocean upon finding them), and moves throughout the city. For a man so tall, and dressed all in black his attempts at blending in might seem somewhat laughable, as does his not-so-sunny disposition, a scowl that seems almost etched onto his features.
He brushes through the crowd without much of a word or pleasantry to anyone.
And force help anyone who wants to catch his eye.
II. (nightmares)
The way Kylo has always avoided the nightmares and memories that typically plague his sleep? Work and train himself into exhaustion, until his mind is too tired to dream at all. Normally, it works well enough, he can function and behave normally - or as normally as Kylo Ren does. Here, without a purpose or cause to cling to, he feels a bit... lost. And it's simpler to lose track, so he begins to have nightmares. Violent, and vivid. Plunging his lightsaber through his father's heart, the way his uncle had stared down at him, and his only friend -- Tai, being cut down by Ren.
It doesn't only happen during the night, but in the day as well. He pulls himself out of a dream, standing straight where he'd nearly slumped over where he stood to shake the dust out of his mind.
"Don't bother. I don't require any assistance." He says to any single onlooker or one attempting to reach him.
III. (wildcard)
want to continue something from the TDM? Or something else entirely. Go for it. You can dm to chat or hit me up on plurk @ dyads to discuss plans!
what: intro and settling in
where: throughout
when: June, around tdm time
I.
Kylo Ren doesn't cope well with being displaced as he is. Not when the Force around him feels... strange. Not quite as full of life, perhaps dull and muted is the word to use? He doesn't know -- he's gotten the introduction, read the leaflet, listened to the chatter on the beach he'd woken up in a body that felt just ever so slightly off. Like a pair of trousers that once fit but needed to be adjusted for whatever reason.
Now that that disorientation had passed, he picked up the bag of his belongings: a sodden cape, leather gloves, the hilt (which goes on his belt) and the broken pieces of the mask (which he nearly throws back into the ocean upon finding them), and moves throughout the city. For a man so tall, and dressed all in black his attempts at blending in might seem somewhat laughable, as does his not-so-sunny disposition, a scowl that seems almost etched onto his features.
He brushes through the crowd without much of a word or pleasantry to anyone.
And force help anyone who wants to catch his eye.
II. (nightmares)
The way Kylo has always avoided the nightmares and memories that typically plague his sleep? Work and train himself into exhaustion, until his mind is too tired to dream at all. Normally, it works well enough, he can function and behave normally - or as normally as Kylo Ren does. Here, without a purpose or cause to cling to, he feels a bit... lost. And it's simpler to lose track, so he begins to have nightmares. Violent, and vivid. Plunging his lightsaber through his father's heart, the way his uncle had stared down at him, and his only friend -- Tai, being cut down by Ren.
It doesn't only happen during the night, but in the day as well. He pulls himself out of a dream, standing straight where he'd nearly slumped over where he stood to shake the dust out of his mind.
"Don't bother. I don't require any assistance." He says to any single onlooker or one attempting to reach him.
III. (wildcard)
want to continue something from the TDM? Or something else entirely. Go for it. You can dm to chat or hit me up on plurk @ dyads to discuss plans!
no subject
He could certainly feel that fear now, when his limbs suddenly locked up and he couldn't move.
The first thought that hit him after that was a sarcastic, "Well this new," followed by a less sarcastic, "Well this is bad." He could at least glance around, seeing those that had seen a lightsaber enough and knew to run do so, but many others were still trying to look, to see what two Sleepers were about to get into a one sided fight over.
Honestly, he hadn't run expecting to be let go. He ran hoping whomever this was would follow, and get him away from such a public place.
He didn't fight the hold on him immediately, instead focusing outward, nudging as many people as he could mentally, instilling an urge to run away from what was about to happen and to do it as fast as they could. It worked more effectively than he expected, the change of his blood making it easy to slip into the many minds around them and make them vacate the street without a second thought of their own, leaving Luke frozen in place, alone, as the stranger stalked toward him.
Not the best situation to be in, but a slight improvement, since the concern of civilian casualties were down.
"I'm getting the impression you assume too much," Luke managed to get out, grateful he could at least talk, and trying not to think about the spitting hiss of the lightsaber behind him. He couldn't see it, but he had a hunch it was red, because what other color would it be with that kind of anger emanating out from this person.
no subject
Kylo doesn't pay much heed to the people leaving, or Luke's influence on them pushing them out of harm's way. The fear from the ones that fled at the sight of danger. They're not his concern, he doesn't care about them or what becomes of them - only the man he now has in his grasp. He brings the lightsaber around him, so that Luke can only see the spitting plasma held aloft and close.
One single move and he could end it all right here.
But no, he wasn't going to take him defenseless and unable to fight back. There would be no satisfaction in that, and he wants to watch the light leave his eyes. With a flick of his hand he releases his uncle to move freely. But not before he steps around him to face him; despite the anger that clouds him, there's the slightest bit of fear that permeates his signature. It's the first time he's seen him... since that night. And he may not be the same Luke then, what would he do, when faced with the future, and proof his failures standing right in front of him.
"You don't know me yet, but you will, Uncle."
no subject
Suddenly, he could move again, but before he could react the other man was in front of him again, blocking him in like he was a living mountain. Luke stood his ground, calm and collected -- but for Kylo, there would be a notable difference here; his calm didn't come naturally like it would later in life, but it was practiced, like he had spent ages fighting against his natural response to such a situation.
Being called 'uncle' by someone like this did take Luke aback, though. He stared at Kylo for a few minutes, mouth falling open slightly... before the Jedi masked cracked as he let out a breath, pressing his gloved hand to his forehead.
"...damn, Han; how busy were you with my sister after Endor?" he muttered, definitely not meaning to say that out loud. He didn't seem to realize he had either as he lifted his head, raising an eyebrow as this new nephew of his and wondering what the hell went so wrong here.
"I don't suppose you'll tell me what I did that made you hate and fear me this much?" he asked, not the slightest bit afraid to call him out on the emotions the other man was practically shouting into the Force.
no subject
On that level, Kylo was aware that this Luke was different. He knew this, logically. His uncle was older than him, long hair and beard starting to grey, he felt different in the Force, too. Older and more controlled.
But emotionally, emotionally he was too lost to care. Back to feeling that frightened young man he'd felt that night, only now he wasn't the same as he'd been back then either. While Ben Solo had been sorrowful, hadn't wanted to hurt anyone, he doesn't care now. He only wants to bring about that suffering he'd been so afraid that his young nephew would bring.
(It's unfair, that he can look at Kylo and not see, just see a stranger burdened by rage, but Kylo has the memories of that night - the destruction, the fear, all of it. He would have to change that.)
"You were so afraid of me, of my power."
He reaches out a gloved hand, holding it out to Luke's face.
The memories of that night were so twisted in Kylo's subconcious, but he would never forget his uncle's face dark with his disgust as he held his lightsaber aloft and lit over the young man he believed asleep.
"Ben!" Memory Luke yells as the young man grabs his own lightsaber to defend and pulls the hut down over them.
no subject
He didn't realize he screamed, or that he fell to his knees, not until the vision stopped, leaving him breathless on the ground before him.
"T-that..." he struggled to get out, trembling from the residual fear, the image of his older, twisted face still lingering before his eyes.
no subject
He doesn't see the same man as the one in the memory, now. But this is the moment he's been waiting for.
"Get up." Kylo spits. "Get up and face me."
no subject
The other part of his response to his father still remained true, however, and he pushed himself shakily to his feet, taking a deep breath in an effort to calm himself. He finally turned his gaze up to Kylo, to his nephew, and the Jedi calm he had worked so hard to perfect was back as he folded his hands before him.
"Why?" he finally asked softly. "Do you know why I would come to do that to you?"
no subject
"Because you were afraid. You only saw darkness and you had to stomp it out before you had another Vader to contend with. That's why they sent me to you, to stop that from happening." They were afraid, too. Too emotional, too powerful. Too much.
"But you failed." Ben made his choice that night, in going to Snoke because he saw no other option. No other out. He'd fought against it for so long, but what was the point when it was bound to happen? You could not fight against the will of the Force anymore than you could stop the planets from spinning. Luke had only helped to finally give him that push he needed to finally see that.
no subject
"It just... doesn't seem like me," he said softly. "I gave everything to save my father, I don't understand why I wouldn't do the same for you..."
He let out a breath, shaking his head.
"I don't mean to sound like I'm denying what you experienced," he continued, knowing it would be foolish to do so after seeing and feeling everything this man had seen that night. "But... if there's anything I can do to help..."
He trailed off, before added, a bit blandly: "Short of letting you kill me, I mean."