Faith Lehane (
slayerskiss) wrote in
deercountry2022-07-13 02:01 am
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SOMETIMES THE ONLY ROAD YOU TAKE IS THE DARKEST || July Catch-All
Who: Faith Lehane + Assorted CR
What: Faith is haunted, bares her fangs, deals with the consequences of her actions.
When: July 5th-13th catchall.
Where: Clockhouse, Cobra Kai.
Content Warnings: Grief, violence, torture, suicidal ideation, Buffy The Vampire Slayer Making Murder Weird Since 1997, TBA.
What: Faith is haunted, bares her fangs, deals with the consequences of her actions.
When: July 5th-13th catchall.
Where: Clockhouse, Cobra Kai.
Content Warnings: Grief, violence, torture, suicidal ideation, Buffy The Vampire Slayer Making Murder Weird Since 1997, TBA.
cw for... intense masochism and mention of past suicide attempts and torture
Her eyes, normally dark, flare a bright gold for just a moment, as the soul within her calls on her to punt this princess turned vengeful torturer through the roof. She ignores it, for now. She could make it easier for the girl before her, like how easy she made it for Buffy and Angel. She could sneer about how Sayo couldn't be that good of a lover if she's coming straight back here to her. She could laugh at Jessica saying they were friends when this is and always has been the real her. She could lay out a bunch of weak excuses about Ange and herself and projection and loyalty...
But Angel's words float through her head when she'd tormented him - tortured and attacked his friends, sold herself to his worst enemies and then made a game of smashing one of their heads open against a table before taking the job. I know what you want. And I'm not going to make it easy for you, Faith.]
That's just what I am.
[A succubus. Someone who worms their way into the trust and affection of others, and then uses that to make it hurt all the more when she devours their hearts and takes everything from them. Bitter and resentful and well and truly unlovable. Willow was her friend. Maybe something more. And Willow died earlier tonight.]
My knife's on the table if you want it. [She shouldn't encourage her self destruction. She does anyway. They might as well go down together.]
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You're just making excuses! [ Snap. ] You chose to kill her!
[ Just like Jessica chose to use the magic of preserving the little pockets of comfort she had in her life in exchange for ignoring all the horrors hiding in the shadows of her home. Snap. A choice they'd already made before they were aware they'd made it. Snap.
She takes the knife off of the table, pulls it from its sheathe. She's holding it all wrong, and it fits strangely in her hand, but there's no hesitation. When she first heard Sayo's confession, she'd been horrified and disgusted to consider how it was possible that her kind, sensitive friend could commit such cruel actions.
That doesn't confuse her anymore. ]
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Well, now she's seen Faith for the vicious monster that she is.]
...I did. [She breaths, shallow and broken. She lets out a hiss of pain as the last of her fingers break, the only big reaction she's had, after holding it in through all the others, she ] There's nothing... there's nothing in the world that I can do for you now.
["Even this, it won't make you feel better." That's what she's supposed to say. It's the truth, too. She felt no satisfaction after unloading onto Wesley, cutting him up, beating him bloody and bruised, tying him to a chair and leaving little burns to match the cuts and bruises.
But Faith deserves this. She knows she does. For Maul, for his brother, for Sayo, for Johnny, for Willow, for Gideon (who?), for Anna... So fuck the truth. She's earned this.]
What do you want from me? [It's a simple question, and she knows it's not going to stop her, because Jessica doesn't want anything from her. All she wants is to make it hurt.]
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And it doesn't make it feel better, really. The rage isn't soothed, it scorches her soul black and blistering as surely as it snaps Faith's bones. The thought of Sayo's lifeless body lying in her and Himiko's home is no less monstrous and haunting to her. But at the same time, she wants this, as surely as she wanted anything in her life. Later, she'll try to tell herself that these feelings were entirely alien to her, but she'll fail.
This is who she is too. ]
You can bleed for me! [ She brings the knife down into Faith's gut and twists. The smell of that sickly-floral toxic blood fills the room, and she's not sure she'll ever get it out of her nostrils. ] And you can fucking die!
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Buffy's stab was gentler. She reached in further, with all the strength of an apex predator, but there was love behind it too. An acknowledgement that in doing this, they will be closer than they ever could be otherwise. It was the only kiss they ever shared.
From Jessica, it's cold and directionless. She's barely even looking at Faith - not really - it's all just about her. Her own self hatred inflicted on another person who took away the subject of her guilt. Of course, she hates her too, but it's not the same.
Jessica doesn't know Faith. Jessica will probably never know Faith. All she knows is her rage boiling her blood and driving her mad. And so Faith lets out a noise that's halfway between a wheeze for breath and a laugh. She can't breath enough to yell out even if she wanted to.
She realizes midway through that she can barely even feel the pain over the roaring in her ears and the adrenaline pumping through her blood. She can feel the suffocating weight though, the way that the knife presses on her organs. It's horrific and it's lifeless. It's everything she deserves.
She doesn't have much strength for movement. Or she wouldn't, if she were a regular person. But she's a Slayer. A monster. An apex predator, and her fangs are hungry for blood or punishment or whatever else.
She reaches up, puts a hand on Jessica's wrist and twists the knife some more as her teeth visibly sharpen into a mouth full of fangs. She lets out another wheeze of pain. It's a taunt, and they both know it.]
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It stops her in her tracks. Things are awkward between her and Jessica, sure, and it would keep her from meddling in most of the other's personal business. But this feels different. These words.. they're not ones Jessica is supposed to say. It's nothing Ange could imagine the other ever saying. And yet she's hearing them, clear as day.
It takes away all hesitation on interfering with whatever is going on. Ange quickly moves towards the door, twisting the knob, moving into the room, and seeing..
.. well. This disaster in the making.
Ange has no context for this. She doesn't know what happened to Sayo, let alone who or what caused it. All she knows is that she's witnessing Jessica outright stabbing Faith. And the latter doesn't exactly seem like she's struggling about it either, which is making it even more weird.
But despite not knowing what's going on, Ange does know one thing. She doesn't want to see that knife inside of Faith. And moreover - as Ange manages to slide her gaze from the knife to Jessica's face, she can see a look in the other's eyes that's so strange and foreign that it got to be either corruption or other Pthumerian influence.
(Maybe she has to protect both people present here from themselves, huh.)
Focusing her darkblood powers, Ange forces the knife to levitate. Out of Faith, out of both of their hands, and then flying across the room until Ange can grab the hilt. Holding onto a vileblood-dripping knife isn't exactly ideal, but on the other hand, Ange doesn't trust this situation enough to just drop it on the floor, instead opting to hold it away from her so she isn't getting the acidic blood all over herself. ]
What are you doing?!
[ The question isn't even directed at one person in particular here. It's just a confusing and upsetting situation, and for an initial moment Ange isn't sure how to deal with it, other than to at least take away the weapon.
Not that it's the smartest idea to just pull a weapon out of a stab wound like that, but look, there's only so much one can do in the middle of panic. ]
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Jessica doesn't even turn to look when the door opens, bent upon her grim task before all else, her eyes fixed on the awful face of her victim. That changes half a second later, though, when the knife floats out of her grasp, corrosive green blood blossoming out of the wound she made. She looks over her shoulder to see her cousin, daring to defend the monster that's a danger to all of them so long as she draws breath. Stupid, stubborn girl. What will she have to do to protect her? ]
Don't get in the way, Ange-chan! She murdered Sayo! This fucking monster killed my girlfriend!
[ The irony that said girlfriend is a murderer herself, who killed her and her family in countless worlds, is entirely lost on Jessica right now. There's only her rage to revenge herself on the one who hurt her loved one, the same fury that Ange had seen directed towards the culprit in the many game boards.
She stands up, rounding on Ange. There's far less venom in her eyes; more like frustration, like she truly can't understand why she's interfering. ]
cw for suicidal ideation
Ange will understand, more than Jessica will, why her reaction to a knife was hunger - almost lust. Okay, maybe Ange was never that fucking weird about it but Ange was never a slayer. It's painful but it's only what she deserves. The brunt of Jessica's rage is - again - something deserved.
It's an escape from the misery that is being her. An empty hope that at the end of the knife lies the way to be someone else.
She heaves as the knife is pulled out, pain in her voice. It's still not a scream. It's still not what Jessica wanted.]
She's... ah... corrupted... by somethin'.
[That's all she offers before she puts her hand over the wound in some naive attempt to cover bleeding.
Of course, they're both corrupted by something. The Good for Faith. The Evil for Jessica.]
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But she knows she has to work with it anyway. She can't allow this situation to just continue. ]
Faith wouldn't do that! She's not like that! [ After the quick pause's worth of processing is done, it's the first thing Ange fires back at Jessica. Maybe it's her having a little bit too much faith in Faith - pun unintended - but Ange can't help it. She's always like this. Undying loyalty to her friends, and she has definitely chosen to count Faith among those. Even if she did kill Sayo, there must have been some reason. There's been corruption flying around all month, and people getting all sorts of weird urges. There's a million reasons how Faith could have been involved with Sayo's murder that was beyond her control.
It's not the only thing Ange says though. She uses her empty hand to gesture in Faith's direction. ]
And you're not like that either, Jessica onee-chan!
[ Sure, Jessica was always full of fire, wanting to go after the culprit. Ange can imagine her punching said culprit, too. But stabbing Faith? Like this?
That's too cruel. It's not like the way Ange views her cousin at all. ]
There's something wrong with you, and I'll help you with that, okay? [ She's still careful to try and hold the knife out of Jessica's reach, even if she has to move her hand back or step backwards. ] But first you have to let me help Faith before she bleeds out-- because you're going to feel awful about this later if I don't.
[ And so will Ange. The fact she's worried already shows in the way she's much more openly emotional in this moment than she usually is, but her mind is absolutely freaking out at the idea that Faith could bleed out here if Ange can't handle quickly or capably enough in this moment. ]
You trust me, right? [ Despite everything that happened-- but Ange is shoving that aside for the moment. Her own past pettiness about everything with Sayo doesn't feel important in the face of this. ] Just listen to me this time. Please.
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She just told me that she did! I don't care if she's corrupt, I— what if Sayo doesn't come back? We already lost Battler! [ Her only consolation in fear and grief is the black witch of hate. It whispers sweetly, telling her of the way that she can feel in control of her life, as though there's an order she can impose on the world. ] I can't let her get away with what she's done!
[ She swallows hard, half-laughing, half-sobbing at Ange's attempt to appeal to her better nature. A different kind of bitterness fills her than the murderous rage she directed at Faith, crueler in a different way. Does Ange really believe that? It's wrong. She's no different from her mother, or Sayo. She finally understands that. ]
Why wouldn’t I want to kill her, Ange-chan? It’s in our blood. Not even just the Ushiromiya blood. I'm my mother's daughter, right?
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What if she doesn't come back, indeed. If Sayo doesn't come back... well, maybe her friendship with Ange never repairs. There's no repairing this with Jessica, she's earned that hate, and maybe the smallest part of herself wants the bridge to stay broken for her own sake as well. But she doesn't care much about Sayo, really, even now. She's hardly her least deserving kill. It's Willow she's thinking about. Willow, who she had to kill. What if she's gone forever?
She wants to laugh at the idea that somehow killing her is making sure she gets what she deserves but killing Sayo was unprovoked murder. Like Sayo Yasuda didn't take away Jessica's own family as well (Faith supposes she must not care much for that family, she knows the feeling). But it's true, in a way. Killing Sayo was just about punishing herself, just like everyone else she killed.
She reaches the wound, feeling it stitch itself back together. Slayer powers meant this was always happening, but it's normally too slow to feel.]
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[ Ange refuses to let it be. It's why it's the first thing she replies to here. It's instinct. After spending so much time hearing about her family's deaths over and over, hearing every single theory out there, witnessing as all of her family was constantly twisted into nothing but greedy murderers - Ange refuses.
Especially when she still believes in what she said a moment ago. Jessica isn't like that. The entire reason she's doing this right now is because something is inside of her, twisting her, making her think this stuff. Taking Jessica's own worst and most miserable thought, and turning them into a weapon against herself and everything around her. ]
.. do you really think this is going to make you feel better? Sayo's going to come back, you know. [ Ange doesn't believe she won't. She hasn't heard of anyone just not coming back after dying here. Yes, Battler is gone, but he just.. left.
A topic that feels like twisting a dagger into Ange's stomach instead, but she's ignoring it, shoving it aside. She can't let her own problems take precedence in a situation like this. ]
Everything is going to be fine, and then you'll be stuck with murder left on your hands. Is that what you want?
[ Ange can't imagine it.
If anything, she knows Jessica would feel awful the moment she returned to normal. Ange isn't just trying to prevent a death for one person's sake here. If Faith dies, then it's a two-edged blade. ]
So let me through. [ Especially since Ange doesn't know Faith's wound is already healing. It's why she's so hasty here. She has to get to the other before it's too late. ]
I'm doing this for your sake too, Jessica onee-chan! So just.. stop, and let me help you both before it's too late and there's no way back! I'm not going to let Faith die! [ A Faith who is still very silent, which Ange's worry is definitely taking as a sign of her being badly off here, rather than the other just opting to not talk. ]
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But right now everything is distorted. Love and forgiveness isn't all that Jessica is. There's also a headstrong, privileged girl who's still coming to terms with the idea of truly bad things happening to her, and the selfish rage it brings. Right now she doesn't want to understand. She doesn't want to forgive.
She doesn't but—
"Is that what you want?" ]
As if that matters! Won't she just be back too, then!? Why does she matter more than the people I care about?
[ But her cry is weaker now, just a protest. Her shoulders, trembling with fury, begin to slacken. She just doesn't want to lose anybody else. Isn't Ange the same way? She has a glimpse of Faith on that night, her smile, her touch—
"I'm doing this for your sake too." Some part of her had been afraid that Ange despised her now, and if she did, maybe she was right to. Jessica welcomed the harbinger of that tragedy back into her life, and it's no surprise that Ange couldn't share that space. That's why a nerve is struck with her when, despite everything, it's Ange that comes to her rescue, the last survivor of her family, who she came back to after 12 years. Ange, without whom she would have been lost, who gave her a home, who comforted her in their shared grief—
For a moment that feels like a eternity, she stares into her cousin's face, pale and haunted. Then she slumps against the wall, sliding down. ]
...Whatever.
[ She buries her face in the crook of her arm, and sobs, because she doesn't know what else to do. ]
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So when Jessica arrived, of course she saw it as a way out. It's always a way out. When people come at her for revenge, their wounded heart on their sleeve, she doesn't heal it, she just goads them further. Hurts them just a little bit more.
Tell me, how do I make it better? It's a silent plea, to Ange, to Buffy, to Angel.
So when Ange approaches, there's only two words she croaks out beneath the tears that she hadn't realized were falling.]
...I'm sorry...
[The wound is stitching together, but she's still bleeding out.]
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Ange can't really feel any hurt at the thought of Sayo dying, while she is very much concerned about Faith's state in this moment. But that's only natural, right? Of course Ange is going to care more about people who have been kind to her than those who have caused her hurt.
She shoves the thought aside though. Sayo doesn't matter in this moment. Ange doesn't even see her as part of this equation. She's just trying to help Jessica before the other makes a huge mistake she'll have to live with for the rest of her life, and she's trying to save Faith from dying. She's concerned about Jessica, now sitting there and crying, but that's something she can solve in a moment. If she doesn't solve Faith's situation right now, then--
Then she'll die. Ange can tell as she approaches the latter. Faith is starting to look so weak and pale, and Ange knows a dying person when she sees one. She grabs the other's hand, uncaring if there's some specks of vileblood on there that burn away at her own hand, and holds it tightly. ]
Idiot.. [ The word is mostly mumbled. ] Why did you let her do that to you when you know it's just going to hurt you both..?
[ It's not like Ange doesn't get it. She and Faith talked about it before, after all.. their respective suicidal ideation, and everything accompanying it. Ange knows it's got to have been in play here too, and that just makes it hurt even more. Because she knows this isn't right. Faith dying here isn't going to make anything better. It'll just make things worse.
As Ange squeezes the hand even harder, she starts to sound choked up. ]
I can't let you go..
[ And that desperation is what changes into magic. Without Ange realising it, or even consciously doing anything, her hand holding Faith's is starting to glow golden. The light seems to spread from Ange towards Faith herself, and the other will feel something changing - or, no, something closer to reverting, as golden butterflies start to fill up the room, enough so for even Jessica to see between her tears if she raises her face. Even though the wound stitched itself together, it's like it opens again, only then to fade completely. The blood everywhere disappears as it returns to its original place inside Faith's body.
A moment later Ange looks significantly more tired than a moment ago, but any physical traces of the stabbing ever having happened will be entirely gone on Faith by the time the light and the butterflies fade away. ]
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Jessica's violent rage was about more than revenge. It was a scream of defiance against her own powerlessness, in the face of a world that alternated granting her and stripping her of her dignity. The embers of it remain, but at least for now it has weakened into exhausted despair at the fate that toys with her. She rests her head against her knees, not looking up at her cousin or the girl she almost killed. But she can feel the magic working, like a tingle against her skin, as Ange miraculously closes the wound she inflicted. Still she simply draws her knees up, not wanting to see either of them right now. ]